Is my final straw crazy?
My husband and I have been having ongoing issues for a while now and divorce is something I have thought about a few times. It seems that we have been in a constant cycle where we reach a boiling point and I we both express concerns, and then for a little bit everything seems to be going in the right direction. However, after a short period, it will go right back to the way that it was. We also have a child together, which always makes things harder.
I am a coach and often look at marriage the same way as a sports team; you need to help each other and take help, give feedback and take feedback, and anticipate each other's needs. Do what you can to help set each person up for success and be each other's biggest fan.
I don't feel like we have that and one of the issues I have in our marriage is his lack of follow-through or willingness to be part of a team with me. I could give so many examples of this, but recently the simplest thing happened and it didn't make me mad it just felt like it finally clicked that this won't ever change and we have a very different view of marriage and life at our core.
I have a gym shirt that is very annoying to fold, it's awkward and has two layers that get tangled and just dumb when it comes out of the wash. I know this, we both know it and we have joked about it. The other day he was folding clothes and he made a comment about the shirt again and how annoying it was while he was trying to untangle it. I laughed and agreed. I then reached for the shirt and offered to take care of it. It's my shirt, I'll deal with it. He said not to worry and he would figure it out, "I got you".
A day or so later I went to grab clothes for the gym and grabbed that shirt, I realized he had never actually solved it. He had clearly given up and just put it in the drawer still tangled. And it just seemed to click, I can offer help, I can be there to support him, but none of that matters. He is more willing to just give up than be part of a team with me. And also, if he is so willing to not solve such a simple problem, why would I want to be with someone who quits so easy?
TL;DR : Is my husband lying about folding a shirt really a last straw in a marriage? Or am I seeing more in a simple mistake than is actually there?