On the Ledge
I've got a long-term muscular skeletal injury, daily pain, coming up to 3 years now since my initial claim was lodged with EML.
I signed up with a no win/no fee lawyer just to try and get all of the initial injuries added to the claim so I can avoid the constant questioning/denial of medical services. Fucked myself over on that one, EML sent me for another IME where the doc said no workplace injury occurred, and (to paraphrase) my personality is the reason for my ails. So, reconciliation stage 1 was not in my favour and I'm in a worse position that when I started, with all funding for treatments to cease, and denial that a workplace injury occurred.
This has completely fucked my head. I've never felt so misrepresented or gaslit. I've been through the whole endless thing to establish the workplace injury 3 years ago - the Private Detective they send to interrogate you in a dark room for hours, the scans, the specialist reports, acceptance of the claim. No doubt from practitioners that my injuries are from the work i did. I'm in a headspin now, I didn't know they could rescind liability.
I was ready to give up but the lawyer has recommended going to reconciliation stage 2. The problem is, I have no fight left. I am so depressed and anxious over this. I need medical reports from practitioners but I have basically given up on treatment at the moment and EML haven't been funding anything so I don't know if there's even any point?
Just been munching on painkillers and living a small life to get by.
I can honestly say I've been driven to the edge again and again by this system. In the scheme of things, I can still move, I can still work (less hours, different roles), I should be able to get though this, and over this. But I feel utterly eroded, such a lesser version of myself.
There's no real point to this post. Just yelling into the void.