I m 20M in a commitment with 21F we are in this relationship for around 4yrs, while being commited I have cheated on her multiple times. She wants to marry me as well as have 2 kids but i m not sure. Do i tell her ?, or just move on and live with her for rest of my life knowing i cheated on her ??
I met my girlfriend in 11th class, everything happend between both of us so fast that i couldnt even comprehend what was happening, she was broken from her past and i was there for her. she had a huge crush on me, I was also excited to date someone for the first time. We both went on with the flow everything went well for around 2 yrs.
Things took turn as my bestfriend introduced me to a girl, (let the girl's name be shanaya for convience). On the very first day I met her, it was clear that she was intrested in me. u ask me how do i know that ?. Trust me bro, I m the guy who knows how to read a woman's eyes.
Everything was going well between me and my girlfriend, But a new other female-character was introduced in my life other than my mum and my girlfriend, whom I started flirting with. 2-3 days passed with me and her flirting and sexting, mind u we didnt share any intimate pics... Its just the chats that were wrong uptill now.
Shanaya, was sweet and we both connected very well, we could talk for days about anything. One day, She asked me if i wanted to grab a beer... I was like sure. We drank and then we went for a walk where she touched my hand with her pinky finger, this felt wrong but I couldnt stop I held her hand, but this is where things took quite a drastic turn, We kissed !!! Thoughts ran through my mind of me cheating on my girlfriend, What if she found out and she left me, what would i do ?, Dont get me wrong shanaya was a great girl but commitment wasnt her forte. When my own thoughts were crushing me Inside shanaya started kissing me with more passion, This made me calm and I just went on with the flow, and a mistake became a fucking intentional action.
Now, Anyone else in my place wouldve stopped but I didnt, I was acting all innocent and as if i was all hers in front of my girlfriend but meeting with shanaya became a frequent thing. And whenever we met, we didnt talk much, she used to ask me to find a nice dark place to make-out and thats all we used to do. After some days she asked me the most important question - "What are we ?", Me being all straightfoward said - "I m in a commited relationship, which i just cant end... I like u but we cant stay in a relationship". We didnt meet or talk for a week straight, but then she approached me again and said - "wanna hangout like we used to ?", I asked - "Just tell me When and where, I will be there".
Everything was going well, I was in a relationship and a situationship at the same time, we all went to different college, but shanaya and me were in same city, so after around 1 year we reunited, Yes we went distant cuz my girlfriend was very insecure of shanaya as she found a very close photo of me and her in my laptop and somehow I convinced her, nothing is going on between me and shanaya, she was upset for few days and to convince her i had to remove all contacts with shanaya, so i did block her and was completely off my cheating phase for 1 year... Then again, Humans are just greedy assholes nothing and no-one makes them happy.
But after a year, i wanted to know what shanaya was upto so i unblocked her and after some days she texted me saying "hi, how are u doing" we talked and connected about stuffs happily. she asked if i was free next day, to which i said yes and we went into a bar and just drank 3-4 beers, kissed in the backseat of cab, I asked her if she was down for something more than make-out to which she replied politely- "I m not in the mood". So I dropped her to her hostel and I went to mine.
Cut to, Today, I m not connected to shanaya, My girlfriend is still thinks that I m no longer in contact with shanaya where as even now a On Off thing exists between me and her.
And Now comes the question comes up why am i confessing and why now, its because I m attracted to another girl(anamika) other than my girlfriend and shanaya, she is in my college, same dept different section. She is a beautiful pahadi girl, and I want to approach her tell her how cute she looks and allthat, but i stalked her, i found a public account of hers in which she posted reels, which i will let u know have seen more than 100 times... Yes i m fucking desparate for her. anyways i also found her unofficial account which has "#proud malkin" in bio which lets me believe she is commited.
I want to see her(anamika) with me but i cant leave my girlfriend at any cost.
What would u do in this situation?, And feel free to abuse the shit out of me in comments, I def deserve it.