Not sure if I need a divorce or bipolar meds
I’m not even sure where to start. I love my husband, I think he has some great qualities, but I don’t know if those qualities are great for me.
He has a lot of friends, he’s a social butterfly, I am not. So I’m constantly having to go places and do things with him that I don’t really want to do, but with that being said I’ve experienced a lot of things that I know I would’ve never had the chance to if not forced.
We also have been struggling with my lack of sexual desire, meaning I have 0. I’ve tried supplements, ive tried changing my diet etc. but to be honest I’ve never really been a sexual person, I just felt like i had to be when I was younger or else I was weird. So when we first got together we had sex all the time, and then after having 2 kids it’s gotten worse and worse and now it’s to the point where our sex is transactional, he does something I need done and I have sex with him. Or I just have to be really drunk.
It’s gotten so bad with that topic that I saw a text between him and his brother where my husband sent a picture of our mailbox that he finally built for me to his brother and he replied “working hard for that suction” (BJ)
I’m also not impressed with how he is with our kids, I know he works hard, I know he provides for our family, but he has no patience with them, and makes it almost not enjoyable to even do stuff as a family. BUT, when he wants to be a great dad, he’s amazing, it just doesn’t happen as much as I wish it would. Almost makes me feel like he doesn’t even want to have kids sometimes.
I don’t even know where I would start if I wanted to leave him, I know it would probably be a peaceful divorce. But I have no college degree and have been completely financially dependent on him for 8 years. I have nothing. I also don’t have anyone that could help me.
I know these things aren’t bad, definitely not bad enough for divorce. But I’m genuinely thinking I’m better off alone, I don’t want a boyfriend. I don’t want a husband, I just want to be by myself (obviously with my kids)
We are both turning 30 this year, our kids are 6 & 5, we’ve been together since 2018
Or I’m just bipolar and need to be on a lot of medication, I don’t know.
I feel like his life would be easier without me, and he could move on and find someone who fits his lifestyle better. I feel like I’m holding him back and making him miserable.