u/midnight-iceman

I was clearly helped (at least in my opinion) by an unseen being that has manifested its presence 4 or 5 times in my life. Giant illuminated birds in the sky 35 years ago, directing me to notice different slightly different versions of what I believe is a highly sophisticated simulation of planet Earth. And most of all suddenly moving my Hyundai Accent a km to the west, and then moving a close relative of mine from the outskirts of Vancouver to downtown Vancouver in the blink of an eye just to show me that it was they helped me to avoid prostrate cancer by making my doctor offer a PSA test. 12 months later, no cancer.

Crazy stuff for almost everybody. But here on r/experiencers where people are more open to the weird, my question is why do our spirit guides sometimes chose to intercede to prevent physical disease leading to death and sometimes they don't? Is it that the main narrative of our lives is already written and part of their job is to make it unfold? It's fate whatever that means.

I'm reluctant to tell my small personal story having spent the last year reading about all the men forced into the prostate cancer club. I have nothing but respect for these men. I thought for more than a few months I was going to join them.

As a 75 year old man, my current doctor asked me if I wanted to have a PSA test which was the first time any of my doctors offered it. Ridiculous. The result came back 4.27. He called me in and did a digital test and said "it feels firm". He then said I can refer you to a urologist or we can retest in 3 months, and I chose the later.

3 months later it came back exactly the same, 4.27. I should mention that I had discontinued masturbation 2 or 3 years ago, and wasn't sexually active for many more years. So right at the beginning of this prostate crisis I thought it might be a good idea to resume masturbation just to see what would happen. Blood was present during the first time and then to lesser degrees for the next 2 times and then gone.

3 months after the second 4.27 score, it went up to 5.52 which was kind of scary. But 3 months after that it went down to 4.7. That kind of decline isn't typical of prostate cancer. And then 3 months after that, a full year after this all began, it went way down to 3.56. My doctor basically said I don't have prostate cancer. It took a year.

We didn't discuss why my psa got up to 5.52 but I am pretty sure it was because my prostate had fluid that sat there for several years. I could be wrong but I just wanted to say that a stagnant prostate is possibly something real.

I'm an old guy with just a few years left. I have a big desire to understand what is going on when it comes to the Big Picture. I have some doubt whether it will make any difference if I figure out the answer, and I also suspect it is not fully available to we humans.

I feel confident we continue to exist in a spiritual form after we die because of a number of experiences I have had. The being or beings who have indirectly communicated with me seem to have benevolent intentions. But there is a lot of annecdotal accounts that express less than benelovent motivations. Worst case scenario is we are being exploited by others.

But for me the idea of god is missing in my thinking about what is going on big picture. When I try to imagine a single spiritual being that created the physical and spiritual universe it seems absurd. An entity? A force?

Is it best to assume that the idea of god is not a necessary concept to master for an old truth seeker? See it as a mystery? Focus on what unfolds around me?

I have had experiences that have left me with no doubt as to whether my consciousness will continue beyond the moment that my body no longer functions. I have experienced clear cut differences of elements of this world I currently live in and an almost identical world that was different in certain ways. I was moved through supposedly space in my car to show me what was coming my way (I know, crazy, right). Translation, this is a simulation.

But when I try to wrap my mind around the idea of living FOREVER, it actually doesn't appeal to me. For a long time? No problem. But forever? Too long!

Maybe eliminate time and it somehow makes sense. My mind explodes when I consider these ideas.

Forive me for this ramble of thoughts but I am trying to understand what my life experience has taught me. I feel sure that I have experienced 2 almost identical versions of this earthy existance, which seems ridiculous to most people but it is true to me.

I had lights in the sky including what appeared to be large illuminated birds appear late at night sending me a messages over several nights.

I was moved from one road to another in the Fraser Valley by who knows who in order to send me a message about prostate cancer possibility.

So I feel that the unseen entities have been clearly benevolent but there are other events that are not so clear.

I don't believe that the big events of our lives are random events. When I think about my life as an old man, I can see some things that were benevolent such as how I became a young person teacher. But I can also see how I was lead to a very negative person who had a very negative impact on my life.

It's a difficult thing to understand this human condition when you extend it to the spiritual limit of all possibilities.

This world exists but it is not what it seems to be. As a 76 year old man, does this change how I deal with my final years?

I strongly have come to the conclusion that we live in a simulation. Once again, does this change how I think about my life as I approach death. Not really. But if it is a simulation, then is God the producer of this simulation?

I doubt it. Does the fact that I feel that it is likely that non-human entities are in control of our reality change how I feel about my fate as I approach death?

It just seems to me that we are all on this unfolding process, and all we can do is stay awake and hope that we procede wisely.