My (25M) partner (30M) of 3.5 years cheated on me after telling me he loved me that same night. I moved to a new city for him, have nowhere to go, and feel completely broken.
I never thought I’d be posting here, but my world has completely shattered and I don't know where else to turn. I (25M) have been with my boyfriend (30M) for 3.5 years, and everything just came crashing down.
When we first met, I knew he drank heavily, but I fell for him anyway. For the first year, he refused to commit to an exclusive relationship and kept seeing other people. I reached my limit and broke things off. That night, he got down on his knees, begged for my forgiveness, promised we were officially together, and I chose to believe him and move forward.
Over our 3.5 years together, I realized he is an active alcoholic. Almost every single night (Monday through Saturday, sometimes Sundays), he would go out drinking with friends until dawn, leaving me alone at home crying. He’d stumble in at 5 AM and pass out on the couch. Whenever I begged him to change, he flipped it on me, claiming I was "trying to control his life."
Three days ago, we had the exact same argument. He got angry, yet had the audacity to look me in the eye and say, "I love you"—the exact same night he went on to betray me.
He went to a party without even inviting me. He came home at 5 AM and slept on the couch again. The next morning, I woke up with a terrible gut feeling. I checked Instagram and saw a video posted by his friend showing my boyfriend with a guy he used to hook up with back when he refused to commit to me. When I confronted him, he immediately started gaslighting me, crying, and calling me "crazy" before storming out.
Later that afternoon, a stranger messaged me on Instagram. They confirmed that my boyfriend was heavily making out with that guy at the party—it was completely out of control, and they left the party together. There is no doubt in my mind it ended in sex.
I am completely devastated. I moved from my small hometown to a major city just to build a life with him. I don’t know anyone here, I have zero local friends or support system, and this apartment isn't mine. Financially, I am in a terrible spot and I don't even know how I'm going to avoid homelessness in the coming days.
Now, he is begging for my forgiveness, making excuses, and blaming it all on being "too drunk." How could he not think of me for a single second? How does he have the nerve to ask for forgiveness after destroying my life and giving me deep trauma for any future relationship?
I don't know what to do, how to process this, or where to go from here.