I am heartbroken
I sent the text this morning, I am no longer willing to mend a broken relationship with someone that won't reflect on herself and behavior. The last 6 years have been hard and the last 3 month's have been hell. She attempted suicide and then when I called the EMS, they arrive and she started claiming abuse and violence on my part. When my version of the story was heard, I had/have the opportunity to press assault charges against, which I decided not at this time because I just wanted her to get real help. She went to psych facility for 7 days. She told me the doctors all told her it is my fault she was going to harm herself, that it was only a cry for help to expose my abuse. That the suicide letter she wrote wasn't actually a suicide letter. That she didn't write each of our kids letter either. I have been called fat, ugly, abusive, a terrible father and litany of other vile things (this occurs every month for a week like clockwork). She has tried turning family on me. She has turned her friends against me (I don't care, because I have never even met them). She has tried taking our kids. She has tried getting me arrested. She has done so much, and yet for some reason, I still loved her. I still love her actually, but today I am getting off the rollercoaster. I am no longer going to enable this woman who will not help herself stabilize and get actual help. I am done having to record everything, I am done documenting this person's behavior, I am done analyzing patterns, and worrying about being perfect for someone who 25% percent of the time see's me as a worthless, ugly, fat monster. I am sad, I am heartbroken, I am nervous and I am scared, but I have a bright future and I am ready for it. Today I am sweeping up the egg shells, because I don't have to walk on them anymore.