Looking for honest opinions
Hello everyone. I want to approach this space with respect and humility, as the last thing I want to do is cause harm or speak over lived experiences.
A little background: I am a 23-year-old female. I am not planning to start any adoption process anytime soon, as I am dedicated to thoroughly researching and understanding the reality of adoption first.
Growing up, whenever I thought about parenting, adoption was always my primary consideration. Back then I ignorantly assumed that providing a loving home was all a child needed. However, as I began researching I realized how much more complex and painful the reality often is.
Over the past three years, I’ve been learning from adoptee centered spaces, getting recommendations like the book "The Primal Wound" by Nancy Verrier. Much of what I have learned focuses on lifelong grief, identity loss, relinquishment trauma, and systemic issues within child welfare.
Reading these perspectives has challenged everything I initially thought. It has made me reflect deeply on whether pursuing adoption is genuinely in the best interest of a child or if it inherently perpetuates harm. I recognize that your voices should be at the center of this conversation.
So for those willing to share:
Is there a responsible and ethical way to approach adoption, even with knowing that the child will experience trauma from the adoption process?
Should potential adoptive parents focus their efforts on family preservation instead of adopting?
Thank you for taking the time to read this. Please feel free to ask me anything if it helps clarify my post.