u/mphighaf

1. with my disability i cannot continue to interact with people and/or do paperwork (i get migraines/nausea)(i was outta commission for two weeks just going to court)

2. basically resolved to end up outside - caseworkers, etc aren't as helpful as they could be. apparently to have someone do paperwork/interact with people on my behalf = guardianship or power of attorney (which hell nah as a minority with an already shitty exp with most people)

3. need cat food and meds for my girls -- without interacting with vets (i don't trust people with my body, not going to trust people with my cats)

4. been a super minority my whole life, watching this slow train wreck of a society, i can't do this shit with capitalism/"democracy" anymore

5. if you can, send money. otherwise... idk. i really don't lol

6. thanks for any help, especially if it doesn't come with people/paperwork (can't)

It's taken all my energy to send some emails and speak today.

I went down to the court and got turned away because apparently cats aren't emotional support companions which are protected in such places.

I have court on July 7th at 130pm

I have again reached out to people -- people with jobs, resources, spoons, and privilege I don't have -- for help.

I keep being shown people don't care that much about people like me. Not enough to help without complication and cost.

Not without demeaning or discouraging. Not without looking down on me.

I have cptsd, audhd, and am agoraphobic. My mutism has reached its final form: it makes me physically ill to talk to people.

I can't do paperwork. I can't work. It takes so much energy to be alive.

I used to be a high functioning disabled person. I used to work full time, have a car, etc

Being away from my cats is unbearable for long lengths of time.

Being outside (and around people) is also the same.

I am so tired of reaching out to "resources" to find I just... can't. Can't get help, whether I can do their paperwork or not.

I am so fucking tired. And I have been tired since I was a kid.

Well. I hope someone helps me.

The eviction can be stopped if I pay approximately $3k.

I will need more than that to stay inside.

I am tired. I keep thinking "maybe it will be safer for us outside"

But there's no way that's true, right? Would I even be allowed inside grocery stores with my cats?

Just.. whatever. I am tired of hoping and trying to fucking hard. Tired of seeing other people suffer. Whether they're better off than me or worse...

It doesn't have to be this way. And I am so tired of people saying things like "that's just the way it is"

or

"we need darkness to know the light"

I've had enough darkness and hardship. As I am sure many other people have.

I am tired. Tired. Tired. And it's in my body, mind, and soul.

The cycle is repeating

Humanity grows technologically faster than its morality can deal with

Huge swaths of the population suffer under darkness/ignorance/vice (even those at the top!)

The people who have the least bear the brunt of the deception and destruction

Famines, wars, and decadence

There is not enough being done by anyone

The most power and resources lay with those at the top

Who are... Unwilling. Unable?

Will we destroy ourselves again?

Will the Great Filter be one self imposed?

Consciousness, community, etc the rhetoric is there

But not enough consideration or action.

Let's see how this goes.

Are we really in the same boat? All I can think of is Noah's ark

The elites and governments of the world probably have the capability to survive if an ELE happens or to even leave the planet

But what of everyone else?

What of our social species?

I have never really been within this society. I have never really felt human. And there are so many who feel the same

I want to see the end of capitalism (and exploitation of every kind) before the end of the world

That is the long and short of it

i wanted to open up the space to talk about

the best versions of ourselves

and the reality we would like to live in

when everything (or most of the worst things) are resolved

1. i want to be more safe, healthy, and free than i currently am
2. it'd be cool to jump into a pod and become my fursona / be a shapeshifter
3. i want to heal the planet/restore the species lost by planting a forest
4. i would love to live alone in the woods, with my cats, and re-wild a specific area (live self-sustainably while providing something else, idk what) just mostly be alone tho
5. teleporters to get across the world
6. replicators (from star-trek, not stargate) for food, etc
7. talking to animals
8. being immortal to learn a bunch of shit and do a bunch of things i still haven't gotten the chance to because poor
9. a world without fascism, bigotry, capitalism and the subjugation of others
10. a beautiful, cute, and sexy lady who is physically, mentally, and spiritually complementary to me, who loves me and i love

"Last Card"

I remember listening to her lecture about this in a few different contexts. Some documentaries, some were UFO conferences.

Personally I'm of the idea that this current reality/civilization continues as long as we continue to engage with it on the level we are. If we "grow into" the tech/info we actually have, then everything will become easier. For us and for "them".

TPTB have all this info/tech that is probably beyond the public sphere. We are effectively enslaved. Yet there is an out. Why?

Consciousness, free will, destiny, evolution -- all of these things converge in us. What will become of a species that steps into it's true abilities?

That is what they fear and have been attempting to prevent. Yet we push forward.

good time zone to you all

i am coming at this as someone who doesn't know too much about the dead officials

and as someone who has been out of the loop for sometime

my question is: why kill them now? with everything going on?

was there something each of them were talking about

that was somehow different than others?

i have always wondered what it is that protects some people from being assassinated / harassed (to degrees)

i really have no speculation at this time. as far as i'm concerned there has been a lot of effort to keep humanity from evolving. more or less. you can take what you will from that

ps: i will probably reply to you if i haven't blocked you or vice versa. what can i say

edit: thinking about all the conspiracies i've heard i cannot think of anything that anyone can say atp - about the current administration or reality - that would earnestly get them killed. think about what you actually hear people say nowadays. and how long people have been aware/researching it.

maybe it is just enough that there is confusion. bc uncertainty makes a lot of people hesitate, even if it's for their good.

edit3: I am sorry but the guy I blocked? just kept repeating it was about ufo propulsion. which is old hat - people have been talking about that shit for decades.

ya'll out here downvoting my comments bc you didn't prove anything special about these people. and ya'll probably search the rest of my profile and feel your insecurity/bigotry rising. i'm not removing this. and i am taking pictures of you weirdos responding and then blocking me lmao