u/mpops876

Hi, I’m 25F and my boyfriend is 29M. We’ve been in a long-distance relationship for about 4–5 years, and we’re now talking about marriage.

I’m feeling really confused because:

The plan is for me to move to his city, Delhi and live in the same building as his parents (different floors, separate entrances). The idea of daily interaction/small talk makes me anxious since I value my independence and space.

He can be a bit timid in front of his parents, which makes me worry about whether he’ll be able to set boundaries or support me if needed.

He already has a very set life there, and sometimes I feel like I’ll be fitting into his setup rather than building something together.

What’s confusing me is:

When I think about him alone, I feel calm and don’t want to leave him.

But when I think about the actual future setup, I feel anxious and almost trapped.

I’ve also noticed that sometimes his calls make me anxious, and I’ve started questioning my feelings, which scares me because I don’t want to lose the relationship.

I feel stuck between:

not wanting to lose him

and not wanting to lose myself in a life that doesn’t feel right

Has anyone experienced something like this? How do you know if this is something that can be worked through with boundaries, or if it’s a deeper incompatibility