
First time feeling truly proud of myself in a really long time
Little over a year ago I was at an all time low. I barely graduated with a bachelor’s in integrated studies. I had spent the last few years depressed, directionless, and failing repeatedly. I hadn’t lived up to any expectations I had for myself and felt completely worthless.
I remember sitting in the back of the auditorium of my commencement trying to hold it together. Everyone I loved was watching me from the stands and I just felt like I had disappointed each one of them. I genuinely wished I was dead in that moment.
I barely remember what was said but I remember the guest speaker giving the only bits of comfort or consolation that entire day. It was an incredible story of failing again and again and it didn’t end with a miraculous success story. It was just about getting back up and getting a little better each time.
I spent a few months applying to jobs with no success before starting this program in September. It really felt like this was the last opportunity for me to show myself I’m capable of succeeding academically. I had a chip on my shoulder and spent way too much time studying for each class. I worked 50 hours a week and studied till 11 every night and usually a solid 8 hours a day on weekends. I genuinely got annoyed when my Econ score was competent instead of exemplary lol.
Anyone who feels burnt out or discouraged just keep chugging away. If I can do it, literally anyone can. If it takes a year, who cares? Just keep going and grind it out.
And thank you to everyone here whose own milestones served as motivation. Getting to see all your accomplishments really did drive me to finish and do the best job I could.