Title: AITA for breaking up with my GF and cutting off our friend group after a "disrespectful joke," even though they claim I’m just projecting my past childhood trauma?
I (27M) was recently in a relationship with my ex-girlfriend (22F). To everyone around us, we were the perfect, genuine couple. For context, I come from a very dysfunctional background—my father chronically cheated on my mother, and I’ve been cheated on in past relationships. I spent 4 years in therapy working through this because I want to build a healthy, peaceful family where my future kids don't have to witness violent fights. I thought I found that with her. She even told me I was the only good man she’d ever dated.
The issue started in our mutual friend group chat. A guy in the group textually told my girlfriend, right in front of me: "Come over and screw me."
I lost my temper and confronted him in the chat. He replied with pure arrogance, saying he didn't care about what I had to say. I immediately texted my girlfriend privately, telling her she needed to cut contact with this disrespectul idiot. Instead, she laughed it off and continued talking to him in the chat as if nothing happened.
When I asked her how she could accept such a blatant boundary violation, she told me to calm down, called it a "joke," and said I was overreacting. I told her that if this is her standard for respect, I am breaking up with her.
She then spammed me on every platform and eventually sent an email apologizing, claiming she was just stressed out from a recent hospital stay and wanted to laugh. I asked her, "Do you honestly find another man telling you to screw him funny?" She said she no longer saw it that way, but the trust was entirely broken. I officially cut ties with both her and that guy.
Later, a mutual female friend tried to ambush me by bringing my ex to a cafe to "talk." My ex sat there in silence. I simply paid for my coffee, got up, and walked out.
A few days later, the guy who made the comment showed up at my house. He begged me to listen, apologized for causing drama, and said he cut ties with my ex to show good faith. But then he started psychoanalyzing me, saying that because of my past trauma and being cheated on, I am just terrified of abandonment and projecting my "issues" onto her, ruining a great relationship over "nothing." I coldly told him he had 5 minutes to leave my property or I’d call the police. He left.
Now, that same female friend who initially supported my decision texted me on WhatsApp, flipping the script. She is now claiming I’m a "mental patient" who is throwing his childhood trauma onto other people just because I chose my peace of mind. My ex is also posting passive-aggressive breakup songs on social media.
They are actively turning the narrative into me being a broken, traumatized guy who ruined a perfect relationship over a joke.
AITA for choosing my peace of mind and enforcing my boundaries?