u/multii-pass

Been putting off the colonoscopy for years because the first one I prepped for in like 2022 or 2023, the clinic gave me incorrect/vague instructions and they told me to take 30 dulcolax pills with the giant gavilyte liquid. They also didn't tell me when to take it, just said "take the day before the procedure." So I took way too many laxatives and almost killed myself and the clinic never answered the phone when I called them like 30 times in a row for 2 hours. That whole thing also gave me even worse hemorrhoid issues than what I started with so I'm kind of traumatized.

Anyways... Constipation issues have not improved over the years and have a really gotten worse even though I eat healthy, I chug water regularly and I use miralax. Things will be ok for like a week but then my digestive system is like "haha no."

So the GI is concerned that I've not been responsive to diet and lifestyle changes and it's been years of constipation issues. I'm fucking terrified. I don't want to make my hemorrhoids worse AGAIN with the prep. At least they gave me better instructions at this clinic.. but I'm so so afraid this is going to piss off my butthole even worse. It's already so sensitive and painful almost everyday.

EDIT: LONG POST

Despite my new job as a baby litigation paralegal at a small local firm going really well, there's been a few red flags I was kind of willing to work around.

There's a requirement of 1850 hours of billing annually. But the secretaries are mostly useless so we have to do non billable tasks anyways? Overtime is consistently denied.

The senior paralegals who are supposed to be training / mentoring me and the other new paralegal are getting in trouble for training us because the office administrator and the firms CEO refuse to allocate funding towards training... So it eats into their billable time. I'm certainly not an expert and I need their help until I'm more confident. But apparently they're not allowed to help me anymore.

I found out that the senior paralegals often and consistently work for free. Staying late most days until 8 or 9 PM and coming in early... And working on weekends! So I asked them if they got OT for that and they said no, that's how they choose to spend their time. What the fuck?

I was told I'd be expected to work outside of my hours for free if I was needed and I'm like lol no...if you're not paying me then I'm not replying to emails and doing work after 5 PM.

Firm is smallish like 25 or so people. Split 50/50 with liberal and conservative views. Owner and main partner is conservative head honcho. He is a nice guy regardless of his conservative and religious views I just don't bring that stuff up at work.

Anyways, I've been trying my best to be taken seriously and I actually don't hate working here. I appreciate that they've given me the opportunity to be a paralegal and get experience. I even have my own office. HOWEVER:

I was working on a task another paralegal gave me so I can get more hands on experience with document review and creating case chronologies. All case docs have the initials of the partner, assigned associate and paralegal on the case. I kept noticing the initials of an associate I didn't recognize. Couldn't find anyone's name who had the same initials on the HR platform, not on the firm website, not even a saved email.

So I pop into my secretary's office and ask her whose initials they are and she makes a face and tells me to go talk to my coworker about it (other paralegal, cool guy).

So he gives me the details. Owner/Partner of the firm hired a convicted felon who raped someone in 2004. Lost his license to practice in the state and was disbarred. He was supposed to get 8 years of prison but somehow got just a few months and a slap on the wrist. Coworker tells me that the owner basically doesn't believe that this unlicensed attorney should have his life forever ruined from a mistake, says he is brilliant yada yada, has turned his life around, is married with kids. I'm fucking horrified. Apparently 90% of the office is pissed about it but the owner doesn't care.

The kicker? He's not an official employee, he's labelled as a contractor so they don't have to publicize they have a rapist working for us. They are withholding his name from the clients whose cases he works on. He is the only remote worker who isn't allowed in the office and doesn't go to firm events. That's why everyone's pissed but complacent I guess? But apparently most people think if the clients found out they'd withdraw from the firm and tank the business.

I'm so fucking conflicted. I think it's foul and disgusting and as a woman who's been assaulted just fucking no way I could ever support that. But the owner believes in second chances bullshit. I don't fucking know. I'm pissed that nobody told me this before I accepted the position. I'm not sure if I should quit out of complete disgust and rage or grit my teeth and take the experience for a reference and move on. I lost all respect for the owner.