u/munazza123

I am not OOP. This was originally posted on r/trueoffmychest by u/tinydreamerywisher

Status - Concluded

Original - 11 March, 2026

Update - 3 April, 2026

I'm alone after ruining two friendships by being jealous.

I (16) had two friends who we will call Lisa (16F) and Charles(17M). Both of them have been my friends since we were little, a few changes but they had always been the friends who I could count on when something happened.

Last year they got together. I rooted for them and tried to help them to become a couple. What I didn't expect was jealousy. I don't have feelings for either of them but it was obvious that they both having someone else to rely on and starting to spend time together alone (like all couples) affected me.

I, unconsciously, started to get mad because I felt like I was being pushed away and loosing both of my friends. And, eventually I noticed them actually getting distant with me.

Suddenly I didn't know what to share with them because I felt like I was crossing some boundaries. But, it was obvious that I did made them uncomfortable in others ways I didn't notice until now.

All vacation, our friend group (who is them, a few friends more and I) didn't hang out. When we hanged out where in biggers groups and neither of them really talked to me at all. I tried to be part of it but I was too socially awkward and anxious to be being a burden. When classes started, this became even more obvious since I was left out, they don't talk to me and make me feel awkward when I try to talk to them.

After talking with my psychologist, I decided to talk to them to find out that I was the problem. They confessed that they had issues with me and Lisa was the one who actually told me that the problem was that I have made her feel like it was her fault that Charles didn't talk to me and she became jealous for some attitudes I had (I truly don't know which ones but I'm sure that, if they made her feel bad, I was wrong).

To be clear, I must say that I told Lisa AND Charles some comments that I thought were jokes about both of them "stealing" my best friend. I know for sure now that those comments were out of place and that I did wrong by saying those things and getting mad instead of making them know that the problem was I and not their relationship neither them.

Now I'm left alone since they are way more liked on my classes, they have more friends and they aren't the big asshole like I have been. In some way, my jealousy and fear of losing them ended up making me lose them.

I think what hurts most is that now I'm just alone to feel this burden knowing that they had "forgiven" me but that I can't go back and I will never have that relationship that I appreciated so much.

Thanks for reading, sorry if there are mistakes, english isn't my first language. Know that the names are fake and that I truly just want to talk to someone.

By ruining two friendships I found somewhere where I feel comfortable

Hey, this is an update for my last post since various things happened this month.

So, a bit of context. A few weeks ago I (17) noticed my friends who are a couple (Lisa, F16, and Charles, M17)acting weirdly suddenly. I reached out to Lisa, since she was the one who was treating me the worst (didn't talk to me, answer dryly and overall ignored me) asking what was going on after Charles told me I have done a few things wrong. By the time of the post, i knew nothing more than what Lisa told me who didn't really give me the attitudes I had but how I made her feel.

I felt like shit, I really just wanted to vent because I thought I didn't have who to talk to since they were ignoring me and Lisa had told me that it was all alright but that she forgives but no forgets.

I was ashamed, these two friends had been in my life for almost all my life. The next day I build up courage and confessed the situation to my mom, who told me to talk to Charles and made me realise a few things from Lisa's messages.

Now is when I get more mad than sad. By talking with the couple, the problem at the end was:

The attitudes I had all my life with my close friends (like bullying in a form of love, only joking) had become something Charles, who was the one who I did this the most because I knew Lisa didn't like it, didn't like (this of course they talked to the group and didn't tell me)

That I had expressed that I felt left out by the couple had made them uncomfortable (I made jokes around it since they asked me to hang out so they could go out and always arrived late to the hang out, or I asked to hang out and they couldn't because they had to do things and the whole week then went out or didn't watch movies when we hang out to watch movies because they "didn't like new things" and just ignored it) and that I wasn't true they excluded me, the whole group have apparently talked about it and didn't tell me, but they ended up leaving me out and excluding me because I had say it made me uncomfortable too many times

And finally that I had made Lisa feel like she had stolen my best friend (again I had made jokes to Lisa AND Charles about stealing my best friend, it always had been for both of them).

So with this I found out it was a topic which they had talked about with the whole friend group but didn't talk to me because they didn't want me to feel bad.

This made me mad, I shared it with my physiologist, family and a friend because I was mad, I didn't understand why they didn't have the trust to tell me when I was bothering them so much. For me this was new. I especially got mad because Lisa and Charles know I have problems with friendships, it took me years no doubt myself when I'm with them and suddenly classes start and I was ignored by them.

The week after we talked, Charles was ignoring me, making me uncomfortable to talk to him, instead of Lisa who had done this until I said sorry like a thousand times (the day of the original post).

Now the positive part that I wanted to share.

I knew what I had done wrong and apologised but now I was mad, sad and lonely for a good two weeks, even I can say now but far more comfortable with the idea of them mad at me or not, since both said nothing was wrong before just ignoring me.

I had started theatre so I was hopeful of the space. And, it seems, I was right.

In less than a week, the group from the theatre had made me more comfortable with myself than I have ever felt with my classmates. Suddenly, I had a group where I could be weird, talk about musicals, films, sing and do stupid things and I wasn't judged. I even was open with my sexuality and they didn't even mind when my other friends made comments making me feel unsafe.

This group made me feel comfortable enough to actually chat with other friends who made me feel comfortable too but lived far away. It still makes me kinda uncomfortable talking in chat, since I feel a bit like a burden, but I do it more.

Also, for the first time, I don't feel like a weirdo in general, I see hope for me going on in my life, something that I had never felt before when I had a problem.

It might be a lot for people I just knew, but this just proves that they are people who like me being weird and how I am. We will see if it's a problem for a long time or not, until then I will be comfortable with how I feel.

I had waited so long to make this, first because nobody asked for an update, but also I wanted to see what happened on my birthday.

This week it was my birthday. My classmates were polite about it, Lisa and Charles had forgotten and needed reminders. I didn't organise anything with my friends from school because I was scared of making someone uncomfortable and because I wanted to see if they wanted to do something, if they told me. Nothing happened.

I decided, instead, to celebrate with the new group. When I told them it was my birthday, they asked to hang out and since then, they sent messages asking what I was going to do.

Yesterday I celebrated it, it was amazing. We sang, played just dance, talked and, especially, they were there. For the first time in years it felt right to celebrate. I asked my mom what she thought and said "It's the first time you don't have to beg to do things that you want to do".

Thanks to the few people who commented in the original post, I really followed the advice you gave me and I'm doing better, or at least I think I'm. Thanks also for reading this, i really just needed to say this. Sorry if there is bad english and all names are fake.

Please remember the No Brigading Rule.