This is a repost. The original was posted in /r/AOneBag by user Fox_Burrito. I'm not the original poster.

Status: Concluded

Editor's Note: OOP is a man

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># Original October 15, 2025

Hello everybody, first up i'm sorry if this is the wrong subreddit to be asking. I'm a 17 year old planning on leaving my abusive home soon and will only be able to take my Cycling Single 25L Pannier Rack Backpack and a small purse for the trip. My current list of stuff to take consists of:

• My PC's SSD
• Passport
• iPad
• 2 phones
• my school report cards
• 1 hoodie
• earbuds
• 1 t-shirt
• 1 pair of socks
• preferably my football card collection but I'm almost certainly not fitting those
• a handful of USB flash drives

If you guys could tell me whether this is likely to fit or not (I can't check myself because I can't be caught packing my bag with all of this stuff, my mom would notice and punish me regardless of reason.) I would also appreciate any other stuff you guys think i should pack. I won't be needing any special clothes due to climate thankfully and food/water won't be an issue either. Thank you in advance.

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># Noteable comments:

I echo having your social and birth certificate. Take a pic of them and your passport, that you save in your email or on the cloud. Stick them in a large ziplock bag to protect them from water and any spills in your bag. Best of luck! a_mulher

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Don't forget any chargers you need.

If you happen to have access to a locker anywhere, it might be worth stashing some bits in advance (just to give you less to think about when packing).

Sounds like you should have plenty of space, you might want socks, underwear and t-shirts to hand to shove extras in any gaps, and consider tying a spare pair of shoes on to the outside.

Good luck, well done on getting your plan together, and I hope you get to one bag for happier reasons soon. Sha76b

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Not packing related but situation related. Please, as soon as you turn 18, lock your credit. Call all three bureaus and tell them you need to lock your credit.

If you have a bank account, time to get a new one where your parents don’t bank.

Apply for assistance as soon as you can - food stamps, Medicaid, etc.

When it comes time to file your taxes, do it quickly so no one can claim you as a dependent.

Connect with a domestic violence shelter NOW - they will help you plan your exit route and have tips on how to leave safely as well as any shelter that you’re eligible for (even if you don’t think you’ll need it now). AnotherBogCryptid

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if you take medication please don’t forget those! if you’re inclined to getting headaches and need paracetamol / tylenol etc grab a thin pack too rabbit__doll

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Is it possible to start removing more pieces of clothing leading up to leaving? Like hiding an extra shirt at school or other items in a ziplock bag hidden outside?

Rolling clothes should save you more space and as another commenter said, socks and underwear can fill gaps. Maybe bring a hand/dish towel?

When you’re leaving, could you layer up a bit so your bag doesn’t look so full? Tie the hoodie to the outside of the bag or wear it to save space.

Good luck and be safe <3

doctordonnasupertemp

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If possible, also take your immunization records and if you have graduated from high school, you need your diploma. MGandPG

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Do you get periods? A reusable diva cup is recommended. If you have longer hair, a brush or comb, and a hair tie. If you have allergies or get headaches or anything, a small bag of OTC medicine to help relieve those can be helpful. A reusable water bottle. You can hang it from your backpack or put it in a pocket. If you don’t have one, you can reuse a disposable one a few times. A small amount of thread and a needle since you’ll have minimal clothing, you’ll want to mend any tears or loose seams. A few bandages of different sizes. A little baggy of powder laundry detergent and or a small bottle of dish soap. Celiack

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1. All forms of ID that you have. Scan them ahead because it's way easier to get replacements if you can print off a copy.

2. I'd bring multiple pairs of socks if you can fit them.

3. You can probably request your report cards later from the school if you want to save on the space.

What are you escaping to? Do you have somewhere to stay or will you be homeless? If you're at risk of sleeping out then definitely pack a lot more warm clothes, non-cotton (when cotton gets wet it sucks the heat out of you vs other materials still keep you somewhat warm when wet), layers, waterproof shells like rain coat and rain pants, solid boots, more socks, lighters.

Also for packing one trick is to use a drawer, like gather everything on one side of a drawer if you think they would be unlikely to look through. Then it's all in one place and you can pack it quickly when it's time CoraCricket

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Buy the equivalent of pantyliners. That’s something I’m learning now.

This keeps underwear from smelling as quickly and pantyliners can be disposed quickly. Definitely as many pairs of underwear as you can take. surelyslim

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Oh my god i didn't even think about hygiene, thank you for the reminder. Aside from that the ssd is half the size of a credit card so i think it'll fit in my purse anyways. Thank you for the help! [OOP]

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># Update October 6, 2026, about 1 year later

Hi guys, some of you might remember me from many months ago when I asked for advice in this sub for fleeing my family and country of turkey. I successfully fled with plenty of clothes, all my documents, and everything else that was important that I could fit on me! Overall it all went well except for the fact that I'm unemployed and in emergency housing now, but I'm sure I'll find a job soon enough. I'm now back in my home country of Switzerland and I just wanted to come back here and thank you all for your advice and kind words and to show you that I made it.

Thanks a lot. Feel free to ask questions if youre curious!

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Happy you made the journey to freedom. Do you know or have you heard how your parents reacted? lindseigh > My dad, who lives here in Switzerland, has been helping me a little bit. As for my mom who caused this whole mess, she texts me a 100 times a day telling me to come back, that she will kill me, that she misses me and a ton of other bullshit. Overall it's better than what I expected [OOP]

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Well done for the successful escape! The new start can be rough but everything's possible now. I'm curious how much preparation time you had between your first post and the departure? I bet collecting the documents was stressful and needed some extra time. I also hope you managed to digitize a few pictures of you in different stages of your childhood. That's the only thing I didn't bring but missed since I escaped my childhood home. illusiashe > Thank you! My total preparation time was around 6 months which allowed me to take care of pretty much everything, the only thing that I had to left behind that I wanted was my PC, but thats not a huge deal [OOP]

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What did you do with your football cards? hollowsocket > Had to leave them behind unfortunately [OOP]

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I'm not the original poster.

This is a repost sub. I’m not the Original OP (OOP)

OOP: u/throwaawayy_-

Published on: r/AITAH & u/throwaawayy_-

Story is: CONCLUDED

Story timeline

• Main Post: April 01, 2025

• Update 1: April 04, 2025 at 20:45 UTC

• Update 2: April 05, 2025 at 16:54 UTC

• Final Update: April 08, 2025

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Main Post

^(April 01, 2025)

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Aitah for helping my daughters friend with her period?

Throwaway so this doesn't link to my main

My (35M) daughters friend (both 16F) was over this weekend. They were just doing hw/playing games and stuff. My daughter came down and said her friend had an accident. Had leaked through her tampon.

I'm a single dad, just me and my daughter so I'm pretty used to all that stuff now. Shit happens.

I went upstairs and asked her if she was okay? If she wanted a lift home or anything? She said her mum was out for the day and wasn't answering her phone, there wouldn't be anyone home.

So I offered her to have a shower, jump in some of my daughters clothes and I'd try and clean up her trousers as best I could (some pale pink work out type trousers). She said yes, so my daughter got her all set up showering and brought her trousers to me so I could rinse and stain remove before a quick wash. They stayed upstairs, called my daughter down when they were dry to bring up, daughters friend stayed an hour or so more and then went home.

I didn't think anything of it, until my daughter came home today. Apparently her friend isn't allowed round anymore. That touching period stained clothes is acting like a "predator". Her mum was furious, her dad wants to "talk" to me.

So obviously I've ruined my daughters life and she's mad at me. Got angry parents for what I thought was a pretty standard thing to do. If I was a woman not a man, would they have an issue? Doubtful

I could have just ignored it all, but I thought I was being helpful, but now I'm like, should I have just left her to it?

AITAH?

Edit/update: just to answer a few basic things that have been said/asked alot.

I'm in the UK, I washed her trousers (pants). I did not touch, ask about, see, acknowledge or anything else her underwear (panties). If she had Said no to any of it(shower, cleaning clothes etc), I'd of just given her something to cover up with and pretended nothing had happened

I don't know the key situation, but I've never known her to be home alone. The girls are normally at mine on a weekend or out shopping/coffee or whatever else out. They don't hang out at hers and that's not an issue to me

Wrote my number down on paper for her to give friend at school today for her parents. I've also spent the morning on the phone with the non urgent police number to get my ducks in a row, just incase. (Thanks to the person who said about that)

Gave my number as wanting to "talk" probably doesn't mean words in person, plus get a written record if we message instead of call.

Forgot the other thing I keep seeing. Couldn't she have done it herself? Yeah, if she wanted. But I've brought my daughter up as there's no shame in asking for help, and if I can I will. And in this time she asked for my help, I offered it, and I did it. I've known the girl years, she wasn't like embarrassed. She was ashamed. Was sad to see. So offer given, offer accepted, I cracked on. Done.

But if she'd wanted to clean up her own trousers I'd have just sent the stain stuff up for her. Kids are kids even when grown. They need help. Shit, sometimes I need help. My dad's still there for me lol

So don't go judging a 16 year old for accepting help. She did nothing wrong

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COMMENTS

sdf12845 > You did what anyone of us would have done in that situation!! You’re a single dad with a daughter so you don’t get the choice to not be comfortable with girly things!!! Would she have rather you brought her home and left her by herself? 🤔 probably not your damned if you do and damned if you don’t. You seem like a wonderful dad and your daughter will get over it besides you did nothing wrong and the girls parents ARE THE ASSHOLES!!! > > OOP >> Even if I brought her home she would have just been sat outside from what she said. >> >> Hope they do, and hope the parents calm down and think it through before the pitchforks and torches come to my door

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OopslDroppedlt > Wow, talk about a plot twist! I didn’t know helping with a period could turn you into the “Predator of the Year.” Next time, maybe just send her home in a garbage bag and call it a day? But seriously, you were just being a decent human being. It’s not like you offered her snacks and a foot massage while she was in the shower! Just remember: if you ever need to clean up another period emergency, maybe invest in some neon pink clothes for maximum stealth. Good luck dodging those angry parents! > > OOP >> Moment she said yes to the shower I didn't step foot up the stairs. Didn't even see her again til she left. >> >> All I did was clean the stain on the trousers (not underwear or anything. Didn't even ask about them) >> >> Waiting for a knock on the door from the dad or the police or something at this point, I know I did nothing wrong but I feel like I did? I dunno

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idreaminwords > This is actually really sad. I hope this is fake, but if not, NTA. I feel really bad for your daughter's friend if her parents are placing such arbitrary limitations on who is allowed to provide minimal support like this. Would they really have preferred she sit in her soiled pants until they were able to get her home? > > OOP >> Unfortunately real. I dunno what they would have wanted, or what wouldn't have made me a bad person here tbh. >> >> If she had said no to the shower/clean up of trousers I wouldn't have cared. I just thought I was being helpful, doing exactly as I would have for my daughter

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Phat_groga > Not the ahole. That was very kind of you for an embarrassing moment in a girls life. You didn’t make a big deal and stigmatize it. Thank you for being a kind person. > > Your daughter will get over it. How would she have wanted to be treated if the situation was reversed. Did she want to sit in her blood stained clothes? Or have the clothes be ruined. Blood is a lot easier to get out the sooner you get after it. > > OOP >> Didn't make a big deal coz it isn't one imo. My daughter was real embarrassed when she first started her periods until she realised I'm not fussed. I just ask she let's me know about stains as quick as possible and if tampons and stuff are running low instead of run out. >> >> Seen a few different ways to put questions to my daughter to get her to think of it another way. Thanks, ill add yours to the list

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ChaoticLykos (downvoted) > I'm not a parent, and you aren't the AH. However I can understand how the parents feel about the situation. They sent their daughter to a sleepover with their friends, and find out after the fact that their daughter had a accident and someone was cleaning the blood off her underwear. If stated like this it sounds a bit perverted, even more so if I added man to it. I say this was more of an overreaction though, and overbearing parents that love and protect their daughter. I will be honest, but did you notify the parents beforehand the situation, or did you just activate parent mode right then and there? > > OOP >> Wasn't a sleepover, she was round for the day. And didn't touch her underwear, or even mention them. Wanna make that very clear >> >> I cleaned her trousers only >> >> I don't have parents numbers, she said she tried to ring her mum but no answer. I offered to take her home first before offering cleaning, and a no would have been entirely acceptable. Would probably have just given her one of my hoodies to cover up with if she said no

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Railuki > NTA > > You had a mature response to a biological fact of life and remained calm and helpful in what is a vulnerable position for her. > > You offered her the choices, she could have said no. You let your daughter help her situated and she acted as the appropriate go between, my thoughts might have been different if you were the one waiting outside the bathroom. > > You made it so her clothes would be ready for her ASAP instead of making her wait. > > Sounds like your daughters friends parents have sexist views on who can handle period stained items (you haven’t indicated that there might be a religious or cultural reason this may have been inappropriate to them any more than you, so that just leaves sexism, they probably would have been fine with you cleaning it up if you were female). > > OOP >> As far as I know there is no religious reason, but I will talk to them tomorrow and will ask them >> >> I did not wait outside the door. After we spoke I went downstairs, waited there. Emi brought it all down. I cleaned it all, then she brought it all back up after it was done. I didn't seen daughter friend until over an hour after she got her trousers back

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meowpitbullmeow > If the girl didn't want your help she wouldn't have let your daughter tell you. She felt safe enough around you for your daughter to be given permission to tell you. > > This is so ridiculous of her parents and honestly may be red flags for her living situation. She was at a friend's home and her mom never answered the phone. She was ashamed of a natural bodily function. Her parents don't allow your daughter over EVER? Just massive red flags. > > OOP >> That's what I thought. Emi wouldn't have even come downstairs and said anything to me. They've have just dealt with it between them >> >> Nothing that Lou had put forward had seemed red flag ish. She seems a bit shy. But I don't think there's anything we need to worry about

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Update 1 - after 3 days

^(April 04, 2025 at 20:45 UTC)

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Minimal update to helping with daughters friends period

Few people with updateme!

Others with following account.

Nothing much to say. Number was passed on to dad. We arranged a face to face meet at mine

Daughters friends parents comings over tomorrow. My sisters gunna be with as witness/voice of reason in case of arguments. Also had cameras delivered yesterday so gunna set them up in the front room where I'm planning the talking. Already have a ring doorbell so sorted there

Will update again later

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Update 2 - after 4 days (after 20 hours from last post)

^(April 05, 2025 at 16:54 UTC)

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UPDATE aita for helping my daughters friend with her period

This won't be a long one.

Meeting went well, surprisingly civil.

I'm not gunna give the reasons, but the lack of key and over reaction had valid reasons.

Daughters friend is allowed back over, they apologised for their comment, but we've agreed that I will not intervene with things involving periods/personal stuff again. Numbers have been exchanges so I can contact either one of them in any situations needed. Daughter and her friend both happy with the resolution

Sorry I'm not able to say more, not my place

Thank you everyone for your comments on this, don't think this throwaway will need any more

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COMMENTS

Oddly-Appeased > I’m going with her parents are nuts. If my daughter’s friend’s parents helped her out in a situation like this, regardless of if it was a mom or dad, I would have been grateful. This is an embarrassing thing, even for an adult female, but it is also part of life and they are lucky someone was able to help. > > You were never the AH here and as a mother I applaud you for the effort to made in helping this girl out. > > I also find it pretty crazy that she couldn’t reach here parents because they were out for the day. What if it was a serious emergency, not a period accident, and she had to go to the hospital? > > It’s good to abide by the boundaries they want but they sound like neglectful parents. > > AnAussiebum >> I think if we read between the lines if OPs last sentence, it seems there may be a reason the parents were hypersensitive to the situation. Hence why they apologised and came to an understanding going forward. >> >> Jakibx3 >>> I'm intrigued (as I'm sure we all are but none of our business) by the valid reasons of not having a key, did she bring someone back previously? Maybe someone older and was caught.... but anyway. Just thoughts out loud and I'm glad both parties have been able to come together and have an adult discussion. I'm sure if her parents were overbearing the girl would be seeking to go NC in a year or two. I'm also sure she's glad to know she has another parent figure to turn to >>> >>> OOP >>>> They are over protective, but I would not say over bearing. >>>> >>>> She's been coming over my house probably 4-7 times a month. If they were over bearing they would allow her out at all. >>>> >>>> They were trusting. But what happened shook them, they over reacted, no doubt. But it was understandable and dealt with. Agreements in place >>>> >>>> Please do not judge her parents. The are doing the best for their daughter imo. And I don't think that's a NC when 18 situation >>>> >>>> They love her and want her safe. That's not a crime

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Final Update - after 7 days (after 3 days from last post)

^(April 08, 2025)

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Message to the people judging the parents

If anyone should have issues with the parents, It'd be me

I don't.

Circumstances stopped answering of calls (parents have to work too). I reacted to the situation the way I normally would have with my own daughter

That was a way the daughter was fine with, but the parents weren't. Comments were made, and dealt with/discussed

They apologised and explained. It doesn't change the hurt the attack made, but I do understand.

I am not going to say what happened, but they are over protective of their daughter for valid reasons

Over protective, NOT over bearing. She is over my house most weekends of the month, goes out with my daughter. They trusted her safety around us. The situation clearly shook them.

What happened wasn't good, but now everything is open and clear, I understand.

Please, do not judge her parents. They are doing their best, and their daughter is struggling

She seems like a lovely girl. She's open and chatty and enjoys time with my daughter

She's recovering. She's thriving and she deserves happiness. And her parents are doing everything I would for my daughter, even if others thought I was horrible

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This is a repost sub. I’m not the Original OP (OOP)

Please remember to follow the subreddit rules, especially the ones about brigading.

Let’s aim for a respectful and friendly discussion for everyone involved.

This is a repost sub. I’m not the Original OP (OOP)

OOP: u/kamy_kamy

Published on: r/AmItheAsshole

Story is: CONCLUDED

Story timeline

• Main Post: October 04, 2026

• Final Update: October 06, 2026

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Main Post

^(October 04, 2026)

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AITA for telling my neighbour i don't care about his kid sleep?

I'm a 24y.o female living in flat in apartment. 2 weeks ago new neighbours moved into the flat above mine

Few things worth mentioning before i get to the point.I live in Ukraine, and yall know we at the war. Air-raid alerts and explosions happen every day in city where i live.

Usually i fall asleep with something playing in the background, on my phone or TV and i know not everyone wants to hear someone YT at 2 am so I keep the volume around 30–35% and noone ever said it bothered them or made them uncomfortable in any way.

I have PTSD and struggle to sleep in silence and trying to do so made me extremely anxious and i had several panic attacks, so background noise helps me feel safe enough to rest. Sleeping in headphones isn't really an option as it's uncomfortable for me as hell. I also work 24-hour shifts at a local hotel. Although I can sometimes sleep during night, I have to check on guests and take them to the shelter when necessary, so I usually get around 3-4h of sleep max, so after shift I'm exhausted.

About 2 weeks ago, a man knocked on my door at 1 a.m. He said he's new upstairs neighbour and demanded that I turn off my TV because his child was sleeping. Half-asleep and not wanting to argue, I switched TV off but turned my phone on.

The next day, after I’d gone to work and returned the next day around 10am same man rang again with the same stuff to complain. I explained that I even wasn't home that night and turned everything off before going out so wasn't sure what he wanted from me. He decided that my neighbour across was the one so he focused on him instead .

A few days later, on the night before another shift, I was trying to get as much rest as possible when he knocked again at 2 am. I’d barely opened the door before he berated me: “Tonight is the only night that’s been quiet, without attacks or air alerts. Can’t you have some common sense and turn the TV off so my kid can sleep?”

I answered kinda sharply but i was mad at him already so I asked whether I was supposed to wait for an air-raid alert or something worse to be allowed watch TV, and pointed that if his child could sleep through attacks but not to quieter noises then he should look for other place to live. Other neighbours have young children as well and have never complained about me once in all time i lived there. I told him his child’s sleep isn't my concern and not my responsibility so i don't care if his kid sleeps or no then closed the door.

Yesterday while I was at work my landlord messaged me saying that TV has to be turned off by 9 pm. Apparently, man had found her contact, caller her and complained that i was being loud and ruining his child’s sleep.

So today, as I'm now going back home, i was thinking to pay that man a visit and say few probably not so nice words about how what he's done is not fair to me, and getting my landlord involved - is too much and he should care about his kid and not my TV been on.

AITA?

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COMMENTS

Jumpingjehosephat99 >YTA. If they can hear your TV all night long it’s too loud. Turn it down, get some ear buds, get a white noise machine, etc. I’m sure everyone around you has PTSD and is tired from air raid sirens etc and everyone needs their sleep, not just you.

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aliceblax >YTA - I can’t pretend to know what it is to sleep in a war zone but this is clearly impacting this man’s child. Audible tv is not ok all night. Have you considered using white noise on low instead? Might be less problematic.

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Mouseparlour (downvoted) > Have you considered earbuds? > > OOP (downvoted) >> Earbuds as one that just canceling all noise or earbuds that could play audio im not sure what yoy meant buy that? >> >> martingolding96 (downvoted) >>> Either should do the job >>> >>> OOP (downvoted) >>>> As i wrote in post - noise cancelling one won't work specifically as silence won't let me relax, but I'll give i shot to the one which can play sounds, thanks!

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weinricm > I'm gonna go with YTA on this one. My wife is the same, can't fall asleep with background noise. Do you keep it on actual TV or do you use a background noise channel? I ask because some shows will go from normal to loud/normal to quiet. My wife uses background noise apps to fall asleep, stays the same volume the entire time. We found out a volume of 6 (about 30dB) hasn't bothered a single neighbor in 8 years, yet is enough to help her sleep. IDK maybe try that, possible win win for you and your neighbor. Good luck. > > OOP >> Thanks for your take on my situation  >> I use same playlist of videos every time - just reading stories/threads with pretty monotone voice and no additional sound effects such as screaming or getting louder bc i would be also getting scared or startled and if someone else would hear - they would be as well so i made sure to keep it simple as that >> >> As for shared info - I'll try to use one and see how it goes, as usually i prefer listening to human voice instead of some other sounds so maybe something new would work for me better so thanks to you and your wife for suggestion :) >> >> B0327008 >>> I am 65 years old and have had insomnia since childhood. When I rented, I lived in large apartment buildings. As an owner, I’ve only lived in condos. My TV is on all night a few times a week. In fact, I never slept at all last night. I have never received a noice complaint—not once. >>> >>> OP says her TV is low and since none of her neighbors have complained before these neighbors moved in two weeks ago, it quite likely true. Especially since the neighbor complained about OP’s TV when she was at work. OP, you need to speak with your landlady via phone or in person to reason with her. How long have you in your flat? Seems odd for her to take the word of a new tenant without getting your side of the story. >>> >>> OOP >>>> Almost 3 years >>>> I will give her a call tomorrow as she said she doesn't have time today so I'll wait till then, but i voiced the fact that even when i was absent noise was heard, and only other person who possessed the keys to apartment - is landlord herself, and she lives in other region hours away so i know for sure there's no way someone could be in my flat when I'm out >>>> As for why she trusted so fastly i have a theory (which i will either prove right or wrong) i believe she was contacted not by new neighbour directly but rather by that flat landlord, and she might trust landlord more then a new guy. Also she was trying to contact me to get my part of situation but as i was at work I wasn't able to answer and have talk properly, so we gonna do that tomorrow and try to get to agreement from all sides

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Fickle_Wonder273 > Did your old upstairs’ neighbours perhaps move out because they couldn’t get any sleep with your tv blasting? > > OOP >> All i know about who lived upstairs before - flat used to be rented property for ppl to stay as hotel or something, then landlord of that flat decided to make some cosmetic renovations so for while flat wasn't rented to anyone around year or so, and it was listed for rental ever since renovation ended (was about 4 months ago)  >> Renters who lived in flat before renovation never complained either (which doesn't necessary mean they didn't heard anything, i agree)  >> About "blasting" TV i should have wrote this in original post but >> As matter of fact - when i moved in i visited every neighbour on same floor to check if they hear anything from my flat at night or is it bothering them - all said that they didn't even heard a thing (i didn't visited floor about or down i didn't thought it was necessary but apparently it is) >>

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thefabulousbri > YTA Do TVs not have sleep timers anymore? Can OP not use that? > > Also if the TV is in another room, that's not a good sound solution. There are many apps with sleep sounds and timers. I use one. Those are much quieter since they are near you on the nightstand. > > OOP >> My TV has one, timer is set to original settings (it turn off after 3 hours if no action is made by itself) and it works as usual. TV in same room where i sleep and i sleep quite closely to it (40 centimeters maybe)

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hello_1289 > Try an experiment. Turn on your TV at the usual level, go up to the apartment, and ask them to see if you can check how audible it is. Maybe put something on that you know pretty well so you can identify it even from a room away. It's possible they could be hearing noise from somewhere else. > If it is your TV, then I would suggest buying an air filter instead. I need noise when I sleep and an air filter provides enough white noise for me with the added benefit of cleaning the air. > > OOP >> Working on that, but it requires time and I'm not sure will they let me in or not, if lucky either tonight will go smooth or I'll have a chance to talk to the man again and maybe we can figure stuff out, at this point i will let him in to see and hear how much noise it does in my flat and if he let me in - in his or he let me know. Hope this thing ends peacefully really.

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CONSENSUS: Asshole

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Final Update - after 2 days

^(October 06, 2026)

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UPDATE AITA for telling my neighbour i don't care about his kid sleep?

So as it's now almost 11am here i can say that situation is resolved, and as i hoped - peacefully.

When i got back home i kept quiet on purpose to gave a feeling that i wasn't home to see in evening/morning will anything happen. Regards of lots comments suggestions to use phone or other stuff - i wanted to check will situation when i was absent at home and neighbour came to complain will repeat bc it was bugging me for been accused when i wasn't even home.

And what do you know it actually did.

So as 9pm rolled in i kept quiet and waited till pass midnight - I DIDN'T PLAY ANYTHING ON ANYTHING so it was dead quiet in flat for sure. Around almost 2am i got a ring in my door and here was same guy with same problem.

I explained that for whole day i didn't turn anything on since got back and invited him in and purpose a check - I'm turning TV on right now while he sees it on my usual volume, we comming to his flat and he checks was it really me or not. He did not let me to his apartment but let me wait by the open door. He came back and said that he can't hear anything and asked if we can have talk in morning as he needs time to understand what's going on.I agreed.

We talked about hour ago and basically - his kid (7 y.o boy) was telling him that he heard noises form somewhere, turns out kid lied bc he wanted his parents to give him more attention since they moved in and he haven't fully adapted, felt sad and abandoned while parents was busy with things. Man apologised, i apologised and we went our ways.

Also gave call to landlord explained everything, she said that bc i didn't povided my side at time and was rude to guy it seemed reasonable from her side to imply 9pm rule. So after telling her how situation ended she said her bad for not trusting me in first place, rule is gone.

Also wanted to adress some stuff in comments :

30% gives us nothing it could be loud or low on different TV

True, and i should have included that in main post but i in fact checked with my neighbours on same floor if they heard anything or was i bothering anyone(Didn't went up or down a floor, didn't thought it was necessary) All said they didn't even noticed that something was on in whole time I'm leaving here.

Blasting TV all night long

As 1-2 person pointed out - TV turns off after some time, mine has same function it turns off after 3hours of no things been done, feature works fine, also should have included in main post, my bad.

To all ppl suggesting different stuff to listen, apps to sleep and recommending earbuds - they are noted, few apps been downloaded and new things added to playlist.

Thanks for everyone else for their takes on situation and advices, appreciate that.

&nbsp;

COMMENTS

ixipennythrower > Who the hell trusts a kid on something like that without verifying, cause guess what kids will bull shit you? > > OOP >> As someone who has to work with kids sometimes - parents nowdays believe their kid WAY MORE when it was before. Besides, i think i could be due to local stuff - lot's of kids in post ussr counties experienced parents believing whoever was older (teachers, friends, relatives etc) bc why adult lie about a kid? Maybe it's way to give their kids a better life as part "nobody believed me when i was young, so i would believe my kid no matter what", but some parents don't see that they need to still control and check both sides and that's honestly sad.

---

Final_Promise_ > Don’t let strange angry men into your apartment at 2am, what are you doing? Just call in a harassment report at that point. > > Dude was coming to your door when he hadn’t even heard anything himself? What an entitled dumbass. > > OOP >> At this point i was tired of situation and this solution seemed logical enough as well as some people suggested it. Yes, i could dealt with it in morning or other time rather then night but i would have waited for nothing then, and i wanted quick resolve of situation. It is not very smart of me for sure but when real life or death situations turns normal, logical thinking might be not first to choose, sadly, this is reality of what I'm living in, and i don't expect your understanding as if you might not experienced stuff i did. 

&nbsp;

---

This is a repost sub. I’m not the Original OP (OOP)

Please remember to follow the subreddit rules, especially the ones about brigading.

Let’s aim for a respectful and friendly discussion for everyone involved.

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/WestMarsupial484 posting in r/AmItheAsshole

Status: Concluded

Mood Spoiler: >!Happy!<

Original - May 9th 2026

Hi, I wanted to ask here, because this is something important to me, my sister and I have a good relationship so I want to know if I was in the wrong.

My nephew is in 6th grade and at least since the beginning of this current school year he's been homeschooled by my sister. She had felt that they didn't really teach much in school so she had decided to homeschool him. My niece (his older sister) is attending high school.

Yesterday, I was at her place, I was talking to my nephew about how his home classes are going, he said they were going well. I asked him what was the last thing he did in math (being a math tutor myself, I was interested in that) and he was having trouble recalling what they covered, naming the concept or giving me an example question. My sister then stepped in and told me what they'd covered. I named some topics which are introduced in 6th grade and since its close to the end of the year asked if he'd learned them. She said we're doing it at our pace. I dropped it, but admittedly was a bit surprised because until a few years back, it seemed like he was ahead of school, really quick with answering mental math questions (which I used to ask at my sister's encouragement). I know mental math is a totally different skillset and doesn't necessarily mean that the headstart carries over to other topics but it still surprised me.

Today in the morning I was talking to my mom and she told me that my sister thought I was kind of being an AH, that I'm not a parent what do I know about juggling home chores with raising kids and teaching, and that my nephew is shy as it is and I didn't help matters by quizzing him like this. I tried explaining it, but just ended up agreeing with my mom that my sister would know best he's her son, and that I shouldn't have done it. Was I the AH?

Relevant Comments:

Comment 1:

NTA. If raising kids, doing your home chores, and teaching is too much of a load for you, then you put the kid back in school rather than potentially put them behind for life.

OP:

She's actually a very organized person and has always said she does the homeshooling according to a timetable or plan, so I didn't even think she was getting overburdened like she said to my mom.

Comment 2:

If you ask me parents like your sister are playing God with their children's future. Your sister will not suffer unemployment when her homeschooling fails. Your nephew will.
Unfortunately, he is unlikely to realise this. I'd be concerned too.
NTA

Comment 3:

nta this is why home schooling should be illegal.

Comment 4:

Nta. Your sister said they were going at their own pace, but literally told your mother she is juggling a million things along with his education. So they are going at her pace. One that doesn't seem to be prioritizing keeping up with his grade. Your sisters likely so defensive because she knows on some level she fucked up.

Comment 5 (downvoted):

YTA. You were grilling your young nephew because....you don't trust your sister to provide structure? If you have concerns you should speak with her about it, not your nephew. His first answer was enough for your question. It's not really your place to criticize another family's choices. Perhaps offer to help if you are so concerned. Also, as a math tutor you should be aware that math is not everyone's forte.

OP:

I wasn't grilling him nor did I criticize her choice. I've always asked him this and he's been enthusiastic in telling me where he is in school, and my sister has encouraged it. And when I asked her about those topics its because I thought they were planning on keeping pace with school. Which I admit may have been a faulty assumption.

Update - October 6th 2026

The responses and advice I got in my post a few months ago helped, so I thought I'd give an update. Although my sister was icy with me for a little while after that, she did end up enrolling him back in school this year. When we met last weekend, she said that she had noticed his creative writing had been taking kind of a hit, and she attributed it to him not having regular school socialization for an entire year. She still plans on teaching him after school herself too if she thinks the school isn't where it should be, but it'll kind of add on, not replace it. She asked for my help for math, and I said sure, he can join me on zoom. And it feels like our relationship hasn't had any lasting affects. Thanks a lot!

Relevant Comments:

Comment 1:

Glad to hear things cleared up! It sounds like it's more likely your sister was embarrassed when your nephew couldn't seem to recall much about his lessons and didn't know how to own up to the fact that she wasn't fully qualified to be her son's full-time teacher. But overall it ended well instead of her digging her heels in, so all good at the end of the day.

Comment 2:

In the original post she said OP wasn’t a parent so doesn’t know anything about raising a child … but she (who is not a teacher) thought she’d just wing it at home schooling. Wild.

Comment 3:

Good for her. People are too quick to resort to "you're not a parent" while their kids fall through the cracks.

I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.

I am not the OOP

OOP is u/TroubledBrideHelp

Posted in: r/relationships

Original - September 23, 2016

Final Update - September 28, 2016

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Original post: September 23, 2016

My [28f] fiance's [31m] fetish is getting out of control, and it's ruining our wedding planning

I'm using a throwaway account because I'm humiliated about how this has been going.

I have been seeing a wonderful man for two years now. About six months ago he proposed to me, and since then I've been elated. We have eagerly been planning our wedding and things seem to be clicking between us. I said yes to my dress, invited about 75 guests, and our wedding is set for this December.

Here's where things get complicated. My fiance enjoys the idea of me being with other men. And yes, before you ask, he is bisexual. We have played out this fantasy consistently over the past couple of years, and I enjoy it as well... for the most part. Some of the time I don't know what he's thinking with his requests. About a year ago, he asked me to "steal" his credit card and take my other boyfriend to an expensive restaurant, treat him to dinner, and then have sex with him in a good hotel. I did all of this and sent pictures. It drove him wild.

Gradually the fetish began to involve turning him into a "sissy." He would be very submissive around me during sexual times, and ask that I talk about my experiences with other men, past and present. Again, I obliged.

So, again, I don't mind at all. I'm sexually open minded and if it makes him happy, then I'm happy too. But now it's getting completely out of control, and is starting to leak into our wedding planning. He seems to be more excited about using this as a chance to get his rocks off than actually start a life with me.

For instance, early on, he asked if my other boyfriend could walk me down the aisle. Since my father is dead, I was planning on my brother doing it, but he wants my boyfriend to do it instead. Many of our guests know about the nature of our relationship so he said it wouldn't be a big deal, but it was just too weird for me to even consider. I put my foot down and said no. He reluctantly gave up on the idea, although my other boyfriend will be attending (the three of us are also good friends, so it's natural for him to be there).

Later on he suggested that on our wedding night, my boyfriend be the first person to have sex with me when married. He would be in the room, which is not usual but has happened before, and then cuddle up next to me when we were finished. I agreed to this because whatever, I want him to enjoy our wedding night too.

Today was too much. Our venue has a special service (I think it's special at least?) where during the ceremony and beginning of the reception, they will take a video, and then at the end of the reception show it on a big screen matched to music. We have a certain deal of freedom over how they'll arrange the end product, and while it's expensive, we both agreed that it would be a nice touch. At the very end of the credits though, when brainstorming a last goodbye comment, he suddenly suggested that the video end with something like "Now get to your hotel room and prep the bull you sissy."

I feel sick to my stomach. Has his fetish grown so out of control that he wants me to humiliate him in front of all of our friends and family for sexual gratification? He's never been this way, and I love him as much as ever before, but I need to put a stop to this soon and I don't even know how. He gets so excited when ideas like these come up and has gotten angry at me for saying "no" to his other wedding planning ideas too much.

tl;dr: Fiance and I are into hotwifing/roleplaying/sissy fantasizing, he wants to involve this in the wedding, what do I do?

RELEVANT COMMENTS

km89

>Yeah, that's way too far. At this point, he's ignoring your desires. I'm sure sex with some other guy isn't your idea of a great wedding night. There's also the idea that you absolutely should not involve others in your kink, which is exactly what humiliating himself (or, by extension, having you humiliate him) in front of others is. This is probably going to be very difficult, because he obviously doesn't see a problem with it. Feelings are going to get hurt--yours and his. But I urge you to take care of this before the wedding. And that means getting yourself into therapy, because you're going to need an outlet. And more importantly, it means getting him into therapy, which is probably going to be the most difficult part. Of course, communication is key. Before doing any of that, you need to tell him that you're worried that this is consuming his lifestyle and that you're uncomfortable with how far he's pushing it.

OOP

>I can't pretend to understand everything about his kink. The examples I've given are extreme, but not extraordinarily so. It's very difficult to get him to be receptive about these kinds of talks. He's actually incredibly insecure about himself and I think likes to publicize his fetish to compensate for that. What kind of therapist would handle our issue? Couples therapy? It doesn't seem to be a standard problem...

Shaquintosh

>Most sex-positive couples therapists will have heard weirder than this. Just ask when you're making the appointment, or early in the first session. Those who are uncomfortable with it or who don't know how to proceed will make themselves known pretty soon.

Jado234

>If every moment for him is an opportunity to be sexually gratified, where does being a stable, supportive, and involved partner come in? At this point do you even feel as though you are an integral part of this? Because it seems he could replace you with any other willing participant and not feel any differently.

OOP

>I'm only listing the worst about him. 95% of the time we are a happier than average couple. 5% of the time is kink stuff.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Update post: September 28, 2016 (5 days later)

[Update] My [28f] fiance's [31m] fetish is growing out of control. We talked it through, and made some decisions.

I posted this thread a few days ago: (link to previous post)

Since then a lot of people have private messaged me with good advice. Some people have insulted my fiance. A couple tried to get themselves involved in my sex life by asking if they could be a bull (what the fuck?). I took the advice to heart and had a talk with my fiance.

Here's what happened:

The hotwifing/cuckold fetish stuff continued on as I expected. He continuously kept pushing new ideas about how I can humiliate him at our wedding. First he asked if we could get married with my boyfriend's semen inside of me, and I said no. Somewhere between his suggestion that my vows to him involve talking about how useless and pathetic of a man he is, and his other suggestion about me wearing an "I <3 BBC" anklet (he goes crazy when I talk about my black exes although I'm not sure how I feel about him fetishizing a race), I interrupted him and told him it wasn't working for me. I basically poured out all of my feelings about how his attitude is ruining my wedding.

After a lot of talking, some yelling, and an unhealthy dose of self-deprecation from him, we've come to an understanding that I want to please him, but don't want to make it public. So, where possible, we're working in a few things that he wants to do, but they're very small and limited. It makes him so happy when I agree to an idea so I can't help doing something. Instead of writing "prep the bull" at the end of our highlight video, we're going to write berth ell pup, which is an anagram of it. If asked we'll just say it means "I love you" in Old Norse. I won't wear a visible anklet, but I'll wear panties with a similar message on them (with another white pair on top). As for having sex with my boyfriend before the wedding in the makeup room, I told him that definitely crosses the line and the answer will still be no.

We have started couples counseling with a therapist who is qualified as a sex therapist as well. We all acknowledged that my fiance has a serious problem, although the therapist said that indulging in his desires from time to time is not terribly harmful in this sort of case. She gave us indispensable advice about instead of focusing on what I refuse to do, focus on a line of what we can do, making clear rules. He should respect those rules by not even suggesting something which bends them. My rules are if it's safe, painless, and private, I'll happily consider it.

Things are going better now although there was one hiccup of him getting turned on during the therapist's meeting and later admitting in private that he was playing with himself in the bathroom (apparently when the two of us were discussing how he was being selfish it set him off?). I was too confused to know what to say, but shaming him for having sexual desires doesn't seem right either. I don't know if I want to bring this up in our next session.

tl;dr: Drew some lines with my fiance, and things are going better! We're in therapy now. Thank you for your great advice.

RELEVANT COMMENTS:

MorgaineDax

>Can't wait til someone Googles that on their phone at the reception and gets led here.

OOP

>Oh my god you're right. >I told him this ten minutes ago. He knows that I reddit (he's a redditor too), and when I brought this up in the first place I told him that I asked reddit for advice and showed him the original thread. It's the main reason why we ended up going to therapy in the first place. He was actually the one who suggested that I update you all on the situation.

>After I told him that someone could just Google berth ell pup and find the phrase in this thread, he looked me in the eye and said "That's so fucking hot."

>When he goes to work I'm leaving. He'll find this post eventually but I don't care. I need a few days to cool off and reconsider my options. He's ill. He needs serious help and I think I'm going to call his brother to tell him (without specifics). I texted my aunt already and she'll be here to pick me up with a moment's notice.

dvareadyforcombat

>Wow I am shocked that you're still going through with the wedding to be honest

the-mortyest-morty

>I'm sorry, but this is going past a fetish. It's obsession, it's messing with his real life, and it's not healthy.

stonetoes

>OP, as someone else pointed out, please google "berth ell pup". Literally the only result I get is this thread, so people will definitely find out.

I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.

Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

This is a repost. The original was posted in /r/offmychest by user heartbrokenaccount26. I'm not the original poster.

This BORU was suggested by /u/jackieatx

Status: Concluded

---

># Original September 11, 2026

I just can't believe this is happening.

My [25F] fiancé [27M] has new friends and they are not good people. They scare me. It took me a while to see it, and maybe I'm stupid because I didn't notice right away but I see it now. He met someone through one of his hobbies and eventually this person introduced my fiancé to some of his other friends. At first I convinced myself it was a just a misunderstanding on my part but now I know better. If I try to bring it up with my fiancé he just shuts me down or says I'm imagining things.

I'm not imagining it. I've seen racist tattoos on at least two of them. It might not be overt if you don't know what you are looking for, but if you search online it's clear what the tattoos mean. I've been looking up some of these new friends on social media and their accounts are full of posts about purity and traditional values. My fiancé has become obsessed with this American podcaster who is openly racist and doesn't try to hide it. I've heard these new friends talk about immigration in a negative way and now my fiancé brings it up a lot when he never cared about it before. They also talk about traditional values and gender roles and my fiancé brought up how nice it is if a woman stops working after she gets married. He backtracked and said he was just making a general comment after I got upset with him and we argued, but I can't stop thinking about it. He keeps saying I'm imagining things or that "you're the one who is obsessed since you keep bringing it up."

He's gone down a road that I can't follow. I love him but I can't marry him now. His comments about traditional gender roles and me not working are bad enough but his talk about "purity" is disgusting (and it is racist and exactly the kind you are thinking of, anyone who says otherwise is just as bad as my fiancé and his friends). I can't get through to him, he won't listen to me. I'm going to break up with him. My sister is the only one who knows so far. I'm not ready to tell anyone else but I will after I move out. I just wanted to get this out somewhere. It just hurts so much.

---

># Comments by OOP:

He used to vote and politically support the opposite way of the views he has now. He had friends and flatmates who are different races than us. He was the best man when his brother married another man. He's changed since he met these people but he wasn't always like this.

---

He wasn't always this way. He was involved in a political party that is the opposite of the beliefs he holds now. When I met him, his flatmates at the time were different races and he called them his best friends. He was also the best man in his brother's wedding, and his brother married a man. I don't know what happened to make him change into such a monsterous person but it broke my heart. He wasn't the man I fell in love with and I don't know what happened to him.

---

Yes, his family knows (and none of them support or agree with him).

---

># Update September 30, 2026, 19 days later

I (25F) have left him (27M) and cancelled everything related to our wedding. I am staying with my cousin and her husband until I can find a flat for myself and get my life in order. There is still a lot I have to do, my life is a big mess right now. When I told him I was leaving, he just kept saying over and over that he "didn't understand" or that I was the one who was "obsessed" not him, because I was the one who was always bringing it up. I did not stay for very long after I told him I was leaving. I left our flat after I told him I would not be marrying him and thar our relationship was over. I haven't seen or spoken to him since I returned with my cousin to get the rest of my things, three days after I told him I was leaving (my cousin has a car and I do not and there were some things I could not carry). I haven't had contact with him since that day and I never want to see him again. He disgusts me with his horrible beliefs and talk about purity.

[I would like to address and clarify two things that were mentioned in the comments of my first post. First was that the tattoos were definitely racist and I wasn't "misunderstanding" anything. Examples include the number 88, a series of dots that look like nothing but form a swastika when they are all connected, or slogans written in German or other languages. I could go on. Second, my former fiancé wasn't always like this. We first met at a political rally for a cause that is the opposite of his horrible new beliefs. He had flatmates that were not white and he called them his best friends. He was the best man when his brother got married to a man. I don't know what changed to make him turn into such a monster but he wasn't always like this. Now he says his former flatmates should "go back" because they would be more comfortable among "their own kind" even though they were born here. He also says his brother never should have gotten married. I'm heartbroken for his family because they are good people who would never condone his beliefs and his brother doesn't deserve this. My former fiancé was obsessed with an American podcaster who has the most horrid views you can imagine and his new beliefs were not something I could ever live with. I appreciate all the support I got on my other post.]

---

># Comment by OOP:

One of his new friends had an 88 tattoo, and when I pointed out what it meant to my former fiancée he said 8 is just his friend's favourite number and I'm the one who is making an innocent tattoo into something hateful. (Nevermind that this friend followed many social media accounts that had racism or racist imagery on them)

My former fiancé would tell me I'm the one who was obsessed with race or purity because I saw it in everything him and his new friends did. He said I was the one making innocent or mundane things about race and I got tired of him being in denial and making me out to be the problem.

---

I'm not the original poster.

Originally posted by u/throwRAShelterOnly29 on r/AmIOverreacting

Original Post -- December 16, 2025

Update - n/a (removed by the mods - unable to pull from archive APIs)

OOP's saved conversation with BF posted on her profile - December 18, 2025 (2 days later)

Trigger warning: >!Discussions of homophobia!<

Mood Spoiler:

https://preview.redd.it/2g7gkk0euq8g1.jpg?width=992&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=95569cee7d2db6f5ddafbbdf5a89658668444fc0

***

Original -- 16 days ago

I (19F) am a college student dating a man, "Martin" (20M) who I got together with last year. He had nowhere to go for Thanksgiving, so we went to my parents house together. There was a bit of a complication with travel so we left about a week ago and only got back 4 days ago. Everything was fine when we left for the airport, got on the plane, during the flight, and when we landed. But when he saw my dads at the airport he got really weirdly quiet.

Important context, I have two dads. My Dad (46M) and my Appa (44M). They had me using a surrogate who is essentially my aunt and a close friend of theirs. Biologically, I'm related to my Appa, but theyre both my fathers.

He shook their hands and said hello and introduced himself but was really quiet the car ride home and during dinner until we went to bed. Then he straight up confronted me and asked in an accusatory tone why I didn't tell him I had two dads.

I know for a fact I've told him I had two dads. In casual conversation I tend to tactfully avoid which dad I'm talking about because when youre the daughter of two gay dads, people tend to treat you like a sort of zoo animal. But I've made it clear to him that I have one dad and one appa. It's possible he didnt know Appa meant dad since it's a Korean word and Martin is white.

We got in a small tiff about it and I promised him I had told him, but I didn't know why it mattered? He just huffed and said he needed a little time to think and went to bed without saying goodnight.

The next morning we had the big Thanksgiving meal (several weeks after thanksgiving) and he was similarly quiet. I tried to include him in conversation but he just sat there pushing his food around, which I know upset my Appa cuz he's very proud of his cooking.

After dinner my Appa asked him to help clear the table and set out dessert, and he flat out said "no, i'm going outside for a smoke" and went outside. I apologized for him and said I had no idea why he was acting this way.

After half an hour he still hadn't come back in, so I went outside to check on him and he was gone. I called him and he said that he couldn't stay there and that he was getting a hotel for the night and to bring his bag to the airport tomorrow when we left. I asked what I had done wrong and he said he "didn't want to talk about it here" and hung up.

I went inside and updated my dads and they were very sweet, of course. We curled up on the couch and watched christmas movies before I went to bed. When I got to the airport in the morning Martin wouldn't say two words to me and just kept saying "we'll talk about it later."

Its been 3 days and he still hasn't texted or called me back since we left the airport back home. Guess he didn't want to talk about it.

AIO for wanting to break up over this when I don't even know if I've done anything wrong or not? I know he's not homophobic, his brother and best friend are both gay and hes fine with them, but part of me doesnt even know why hes pissed off and I feel like I have a duty to hear him out. This is my first serious relationship and I don't want it to end over something stupid.

**

Relevant comments:

NOR. Listen, at first I thought "Well, he felt blindsided, did not know how to act, meeting the inlaws is scary..." But that would have been over after your conversation. After you did the right thing and tried to connect and clear the air. What he has done after and especially how he treated your dads... That's just homophobia or a sign of his bad character...

**

NOR. “… I know he's not homophobic, his brother and best friend are both gay and hes fine with them…”

He’s like the white guy who has “black friends”. Usually it’s just one and he brings him up every time he does or says something racist. 

You can have friends that are POC and still be racist. 

Just like you can have a gay brother and gay bestie and still be homophobic. 

Break up and move on. You and your dads deserve better. 

No to mention is childish behavior when he just left without a word and then demanded you bring his to him at the airport.

Do not anyone treat you with such disrespect.

**

You should not have to ask about this

NOR

The simple fact he is not capable to talk about an issue and by not talking he is being disrespectful to you is enough to break.

Add to this the fact there is 90% of chance the issue is because he is homophobic, you should already have break up with him.

The only problem is how you claim to have told him you have two dads, but you didn't. You are using as an excuse that you told him using a Korean word you know he would not understand - you are creating an excuse to avoid the truth.

The truth is: You knew he was homophobic, you were afraid of this and instead of facing it early by telling him the truth, you stayed with him and delayed the problem. You need to be honest with yourself. You would have break up way before and save a lot of trouble to everyone.

***

OOP's saved conversation with BF posted on her profile - December 18, 2025 (2 days later)

Editor's note: BF's text will be on the left and OOP's will be quoted (on the right) to simulate the cell texts for easier read

**

(BF) Look [OOP] I’ll be honest whenever I imagined going to meet ur parents I imagined u had a black dad and an Asian mom. I never heard u talk about u having 2 dads and it was really disapointing

>(OOP) What the fuck is that supposed to mean?? Also I did tell you, maybe I didn’t sit you down and sound out each word but I know I’ve called my Appa “he” in front of you. Where is all this coming from??

U never told me

I have no memory of you telling me so it doesn’t matter anyway

>If you didn’t remember when I told you then it’s not my fault

Look this doesn’t have to be a big deal. Do u know ur birth mother?

>What does she have to do with anything

I wanna meet her

>Why

To see what you’ll look like when youre older cuz now I have no idea if ur gonna be as attractive when u get to be in ur 40s. I know Asians usually stay hot when they get older but u never know

>Actually no. I don’t give a shit what you look like cuz we’re done. Fuck off

**

Relevant comment:

Omfg, that was his reason?!

***

Editor's note: I hope seeing a Tater tot in the wild completely coming from left field instead of homophobia gave you the same "wtf" whiplash it did to me

I AM NOT OOP. DO NOT HARASS OOP.

This is a repost sub. I’m not the Original OP (OOP)

OOP: u/Temporary_Lie_3460

Published on: r/AITAH & r/Redditor_Updates

Previous BORUs:

• BORU-1 by u/SharkEva on November 01, 2024

• BORU-2 by u/ObsidianNight102399 on December 23, 2024

Thanks to u/smashing767 for letting me know about the update!

Trigger Warning: >!Assault, miscarriage, death!<

Story is: CONCLUDED

Story timeline

• Main Post: October 30, 2024 at 02:05 UTC

• Update 1: October 31, 2024 at 00:06 UTC

• Update 2: November 07, 2024

• Update 3: December 23, 2024

• Final Update: October 01, 2026 --> NEW UPDATE

---

Main Post

^(October 30, 2024 at 02:05 UTC)

---

aita: for walking out on a blind date my friend set up 2 weeks after my husband died?

I just really need some clarity on this situation, I 23f lost my husband 25m weeks ago to a car accident, he was the love of my life and im still not used to waking up without him everyday. we have big plans for our future and it all came crashing down in a heart beat. we met on his uncles farm, he was a farm hand and it was love as first site for me. im also 4 months pregnant but I havent told anyone, I was planning on telling my friend when I was feeling better.

My best friend Leigh 24F has been my shoulder to cry on during this time, she helped me with his funeral and anything else I needed as im NC with my bio family story for another time, she is currently dating Barry 24M they usually hang out in a trio with Liam 24M, when I first met Liam he hit on me hard tried everything as in would try and compare himself with my husband say weird things like our kids would be cuter than if you had kids with My husband. He's also made weird comments like I need a city boy and would motion himself, when im a country girl through and through, I typically would shut him down or ignore him but I would always get dirty looks from Barry.

skip to Sunday night, I got a messaged from Leigh begging me to come to dinner with her because she wanted to treat me as I had Been through a lot in the last couple of weeks, feeling not so shit about myself I decided to go. When I arrived she wasn't there so I texted her asking how long she would be and she told me 5 mins she's just running late and is around the corner so I to sat down and ordered a drink now 5 mins comes and she's still not there so I gave her the benefit of the doubt and waited another five when im about call her Liam comes rushing over and gives his apologies for being late I asked him what's he doing here because im waiting for Leigh and it was a two chair table, he smiles at me and grabs my hand I ripped it off of him and he just says oh I asked Leigh to set us up now that Husbands name isn't a problem we can finally get to know each other he looked so cringey and im telling you I was floored I stood up and told him that I wasn't interested and I certainly don't give a flying fuck about getting to know him, and that I just lost my husband

without a word of a lie this man stands up and said I know your being overly emotion right now so ill forgive you for that sit down with me, im not saying we have to have sex straight away.or anything, I was disgusted I shoved past him and went home as fast as I could when I did get home Leigh messaged me soo how was dinner with a smirk emoji I called her and when she answered I didnt let her get a word in I yelled at her asked her how she has the audacity to do something like this weeks after I just lost my husband when shoes been the one to hold me together this whole time I asked her what fucking game was she playing and that the only reason I wanted to meet tonight with HER was to tell her im pregnant I just hung up on her and texted her I need time and don't want to be contacted by her for the time being.

Last night Barry came to my house and asked to talk, I said no and that if he didnt leave id call the police, he told me that I broke Leighs heart and that I deeply hurt Liam when now is an even better time to get to know Liam because he could raise my Child With me I opened my door which Barry took as I wanted to talk instead I hit him with my shoes and chased him to his car screaming, im actually embarrassed I did that.

All day today im being flooded with messages from friends and the trio themselves shaming me for pushing the people who care about me the most away and that they don't even regonise the person ive become the only thing that hurts me most is that my husband would know what to do he would tell me how to fix it and now I have no one who I can talk to im just so numb inside, I have A therapy appointment tomorrow but im thinking of calling my husbands mum even though we've barley spoken since the funeral any advice is appreciated, please exude any typos im just so exhausted

{ Edit : I made a new account for this post as some friends have my main and id rather have some time to grasp this whole thing before I answer anyone personally. thank you }

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COMMENTS

she_who_knits > Very weird and inappropriate people you have as so called friends. Go NC with them. Just ew. > > Call your mother in law. She'll be thrilled about the baby. That's your support system. > >  And join a grief therapy group if there is one local to you. It's okay to be numb. It's normal to be numb when life cracks you upside the head this hard. > > OOP >> thank you, I just feel so wrecked at the minute and I have joined a grief group in the city I'm trying to grip enough courage to actually go.

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StrongTxWoman > As somebody who has lost someone dear to me, this is unforgivable. Who do they think they are? How dare them to tell op how to grief? > > We all grief differently but definitely not within a month (except my bf's father who got a gf the next day his wife passed away). > > If I were op, I don't think I can forgive them. So they think it is funny? I can't imagine they think it was a good idea. > > Is this a troll post? No one with common sense will do that. I hope this is a troll post. > > OOP >> they think I should go out with Liam to get over my husband, I personally am in no way to be jumping into a relationship let alone having a " new family", thank you for your advice

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MacChicken25 > These 3 are absolute shit humans. Did they absolutely hate your late husband or something? Lose the 3 of them. I can't even comprehend the audacity that would make them think any of their behaviors was appropriate. > > OOP >> Leigh used to have a crush on my husband she knew him because her brother used to play football with my husband, other than that Barry and Liam hated him because they think people from the country are stuck up rednecks, thank you for your comment

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T0USHA3 > NTA Firstly, I'm so sorry for your loss. You did the right thing here. I would suggest not contacting that friend again because anyone should understand that a few weeks after losing your husband is no time to date. also Liam is a scumbag and you need to STAY AWAY > > OOP >> I told Liam if he came anywhere near me id shoot him, bit violent but hopefully he gets the hint

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Classic-Row-2872 > Are you uber rich or very very attractive? Because I can't understand why these people are pushing so hard to see you with a man again > > OOP >> Leigh is the kind of woman who can't be single, I hope that explains her point of view

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Update 1 - after 22 hours

^(October 31, 2024 at 00:06 UTC)

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update: aita for walking out on a blind date my friend set up 2 weeks after my husband died

hello all and thank you,

I just wanted to start of with I called my Mil Louise, after making the post I thought that I needed to tell her about baby because just like some of you said, she is overjoyed about the news.

she didn't answer my call but instead drove straight over to my house, I honestly didnt know what to say to her but we just hugged and cried all night, I didnt have the best delivery about how I am pregnant probably due to all the crying but she just light up and was so happy its the first time ive seen her be this happy in all the time ive known her so at least I have some support, my Fil came over when he finished work after Mil told him he needed to come to my house and he was too overjoyed about becoming a pop.

Louise offered to have the baby and I move in and I agreed, she said that I can sleep in my husbands old room which was a little bittersweet, when I told her what was going on with Leigh, Liam and Barry she was furious and told me not to worry about it because they { Mil & Fil ] have my back after a lot of even more crying Fil told me that my husband would be so happy to have this baby grow up on a farm like my husband did overall our conversations last night was a something I needed.

now im just going to answer some comments:

1. no this isn't fake and if you choose top believe that then that's fine but don't be dragging my husband when you don't even know him. Liam dint kill my husband, it was a car accident and my husband died on impact nothing crazy went on its just awful but is as simply as that

2. Leigh was my friend for a long time she was genuinely there for me when I went NC with my parents and I thought she was a decent friend, now knowing the truth there is many things I can think of that she did that are red flags, personally I think I ignored them because I have never been close to anyone like that other than my husband.

3. Liam is a loser, And from my chat with Barry I learnt that he's always had feelings for me and he's never given up because apparently he's my type? he isn't and never will be.

4. yes I ordered a drink I didn't think I needed to disclose that I ordered a lemonade? it was simply a soda nothing wild I know im pregnant and id never do anything silly.

5. I'm not magically pregnant, my husband and i both wanted children young and were trying for about a year, we just didn't disclose that we were trying because my husband and I think its weird telling people oh were having sex an extra amount, I don't know but my husband and I are very private people and kept a lot of it that way.

and as for the trio I've blocked them, none of my family are reaching out because they simply don't know me anymore, the only friends who are reaching out are mutuals of either Leigh, Barry and one of Liams other friends, I was confused on if I wad an asshole because I just left Liam standing there and yelled at Leigh I was so upset I was confused on the entire thing

but thank you all and I will update on what happens because I know Liam will not give up until he's in jail I seriously hope is doesn't come to that but the fact he drove past my house twice is uneasy so im hopeful the move to husbands parents farm will have my baby and myself on a better path.

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Update 2 - after 7 Days

^(November 07, 2024)

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Firstly some good news,

I found out that I’m having a little girl, I am actually feeling a little bit better today and thought I’d update.

I moved in my in laws the next morning after they had come over, we went to the police and unfortunately there is nothing they can do unless he trespasses, comes into physical contact with me pretty much until he gets worse but I did take the initiative and move so they think he will be less of a threat now that I don’t live in that house but they did take my screenshots of his weird creepy messages and noted that he has been driving past relentlessly.

After a few days we came into town to go grocery shopping and we saw leigh, she went to come over but my MIL like stared at her and yelled NO, Leigh looked a bit awkward because my Mil was yelling yes I’m talking to you Leigh go bother someone else with your bullshit. Leigh did end up walking away which we thought was good I was greatly overwhelmed obviously about seeing her and my anxiety has gotten worse since the “ blind date” I think I was also anxious because Leigh is never without Barry so I was very worried

When we had finished shopping and was walking back to our car Leigh and Barry was waiting for us but again my Mil started screaming, she was yelling he was scum and they are trying to sell drugs to a pregnant woman pretty much anything you embarrass them and to draw a crowd Leigh and Barry did leave again not without looking scared ( points to Mil)

since that I moved in to the farm and it been drama free I had an appointment yesterday and found out about my baby girl but also that I have high blood pressure most liking due to the stress but we’re going to have to watch it just in case of pre-eclampsia as my egg donor had it.

My husband has always wanted a girl so I know she is a gift from him, but apart from the grocery store incident and the police, it’s been very positive for me being with my In laws, and there dog Spud ( don’t ask I don’t know why that’s his name)

Thank you again.

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COMMENTS

BananaIceTea (downvoted) > Why do people believe this nonsense is beyond me. > > PsychologyOwn257 (downvoted) >> Lmao facts this story is one of the most egregiously false and ridiculous stories I’ve ever read. I love how OP even forgets that she said she was pregnant and then tries to cover it up by being like, “uh YEAH, the drink was a lemonade”. >> >> The replies in this thread are straight up hilarious >> >> EuphoricSwimming3911 (downvoted) >>> Also that they were trying to have a baby for a year and now all of sudden it's that she used an egg donor. Because people in their mid 20s only try for a few months, then start the long drawn out process of infertility treatments, then moving to using an egg donor. All of that gets accomplished from first trying, to pregnant with a donor egg in only a year. This is the fastest infertility journey I've ever seen. That also, weirdly wasn't mentioned at all in the first post. Guess OP messed up keeping their story straight.  >>> >>> OOP >>>> I’ll break it down for you: >>>> >>>> 1 my husband and I have been married for 5 years started trying for a baby a year ago, we have a baby on the way 3 weeks ago my husband died in a car accident, we in no way used an egg donor. >>>> >>>> Respect read what has been written before you make such negative assumptions when you Cleary lack education if you can’t understand what I wrote please seek some positive thoughts have a great day

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EuphoricSwimming3911 (downvoted) > "Just in case of pre-eclampsia as my egg donor had it." Lmao what? For the love of God. That's not how that works you moron. Also, what happened to yall were trying to get pregnant, but didn't want anyone to know because it's weird to tell people you're having a lot of sex? Now all of a sudden it was an egg donor? You can't even keep your fake story straight FFS. > > OOP >> 1) I literally wrote my first post that I was pregnant? Secondly >> >> 2) my husbands dead? >> >> 3I don’t know why you’re so upset about my pregnancy like relax maybe instead of being a negative Nelly join a positive sub Reddit 🫶🏼

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Update 2 - after 1 month, 23 days (after 1 month, 16 days from last post)

^(December 23, 2024)

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Update 2: Aita for walking out on a blind date 2 weeks after my husband died

thank you to everyone who helped me with my issues about Leigh and the others. It’s over I was attacked and suffered greatly.

I lost my baby a month ago and I will be logging off for a while.

I wish everyone a merry Christmas and a happy new year.

Thank you for the kindness, enjoy your holidays

- J

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COMMENTS

onlyinarainstorm > Hope you're okay OP > > OOP >> Thank you, I’m on a healing journey and I am safe 🫶🏼

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NEW UPDATE

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Final Update - after 1 year, 11 months, 1 day (after 1 year, 9 months, 8 days from last post)

^(October 01, 2026)

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Update: Aita for walking out on a blind date 2 weeks after my husband died

Hi everyone, if you remember me It’s been a while and Ill try to make this as short as possible

two years ago I was going through what I felt was the worse year of my life. and i’m finally at a point in my life where I can speak about it without any repercussions on my mental health.

So let’s start with the trio, immediately after my mother-in-law yelled at them ,Leigh and Barry continued to try and reach me online, in person ( if I was in town) and through whatever mutual friends we had left. it got to a point where they started sending massive amounts of baby items to my old home with letters and letters I think the most they sent in a week was like sixty-eight it was crazy, I didn’t have to deal with the stress of it as my In-laws dealt with it for me bless their souls.

However Leigh did try to corner me at one point in person crying and apologetic about what happened with Liam ( as if she wasn’t the puppet master) and that she wanted us to go back to before all of the mess, I pushed passed her staring through her and that seemed to make her even more upset and incoherent but I walked away and left her there.

one night my in-laws and I decided to go to the pub for good old pub feed, now I’m still not sure if they stalked me or someone told them I was there but Liam, Barry and Leigh all came into the pub and tried to sit at the table over from us, my in-laws and I immediately got up and started walking to out and back to Louise’s car, my farther in law was right behind me the trio followed us out and was yelling I was told to ignore them and keep walking, as we did i hear my farther in law yelling and then this thud as I turn around Liam was trying to fight my farther in law, Liam was on top of him punching and Barry and Leigh was just standing there

Louise was beside her self running back to help my farther In law and I couldn’t just stand there and watch so I made a stupid decision and got involved I kicked Liam as hard as I could in his face and he fell back, I tried to grab my phone to call the police but Barry ran over to me and started beating the hell out of me I mean sometimes I can still feel him hurting me he knocked me clean out, fortunately some pub locals stepped in and stopped Liam and Barry and restrained them until the police arrived all three of them were arrested right there. Liam and Barry are currently serving time for what they did to my in laws and myself Leigh was also charged but was given probation and a massive restraining order. And I’ve made my peace with that.

In the hospital I was told that I was already in the process of a miscarriage before the assault and well getting my ass beat by grown man didn’t help. I was devastated my daughter didn’t deserve that, I didn’t deserve that. My farther in law only had a couple of cuts and bruises but he was ok as was Louise, they took me back home and nursed me back to health properly. I was an absolute wreck and I didn’t deserve the kindness and love my in laws gave me,

I told them to be mad at me, that the miscarriage was my fault and that I failed their son, they helped me get help and to stop blaming myself for situations I had no control over, they helped me with my statements to the police, selling my old house and with everything else. I could never make it up to them for what they have done for me and the memory of my daughter.

I moved into one of units on the property where I still live today, I work the farm and look after my in-laws and not to mention the sweet 10 year old spud who for his age will still keep you on your toes for a old dog, i miss my husband every day of my life and I know he’s looking after our daughter until I can see them again, I will never ever get over losing them both but I am learning on how to live with it, I made new friends and I’m truly starting to live my life again, I will look after my in-laws until they don’t want me too, they are my family and I love them dearly. It took some real hard work to get where I am, I even over came my agoraphobia believe me I am still a working progress I take every day a step at a time. Pretty much everyone in our small town knows what happened and Leigh’s parents are now on the outs for supporting her but other than that I’m glad they aren’t my problem anymore and I’m living my life without anything but peace.

Sorry for any Typos I’m on my phone sorry! Also thank you to everyone who reached out to me i genuinely appreciated, I won’t be posting anymore after this so this is goodbye.

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This is a repost sub. I’m not the Original OP (OOP)

Please remember to follow the subreddit rules, especially the ones about brigading.

Let’s aim for a respectful and friendly discussion for everyone involved.

This is a repost sub. I’m not the Original OP (OOP)

OOP: u/masterofthinking00

Published on: r/Advice

Story is: CONCLUDED

Story timeline

• Main Post: September 27, 2026

• Final Update: September 30, 2026

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Main Post

^(September 27, 2026)

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I think I introduced soulmates, but it’s my boyfriend and best friend

This is a throwaway because both of them use Reddit.

I 24f am in a relationship with my amazing boyfriend 25M ace (fake name) and I have a good friend 24 F katie (also fake name)

these two are my people, on such different levels.

so for some backstory, I’ve been dating ace for about a year now, and I’ve been friends with Katie since we were 14, she’s always been hesitant with my partners as I’ve been with some POS in the past.

however once i introduced her to ace? They got on amazingly, at first? I loved it.

I will fully admit I’m the jealous type do to being cheated on before, but usually it’s never over something as simple as my boyfriend getting along with my friends.

but they are a perfect match.

they have the same humour, communication style, hobbies, nerdy interests etc.

the three of us usually hang out- but the last couple times I’ve noticed it’s been more them two then me?

like they’ll sit there playing video games while I doom scroll and if I ask a question they’ll brush me off because I don’t know the lore? whatever that means.

also my boyfriend keeps telling me how “amazing it is to have someone have everything the same as he does” And it’s really unsettling.

A couple times we’ve been hanging out and I’ve gone to the kitchen or something to get a drink and I’m immediately worried by them being alone together.

I really don’t think either of them would do anything to hurt me but I can see they are a perfect fit, I’ve never met people so similar in my life.

they also go to the same university so they are with eachother 5/7 days a week. 6/7 if we hangout on weekends, and yes I know they eat lunch together.

meanwhile I see my boyfriend 2/7 days a week at most lately and while I understand that I don’t go to their university I can’t control that, the amount of time they spend together is starting to make me uncomfortable.

I’ve also noticed that Katie seems a lot different, let’s be honest we all complain about daily life to our best friends, but lately if I do that or say something like “oh I have to do bla bla bla, and ace won’t help so annoying” she will tell him straight away.

He’s also being weird with his phone and I caught her on his Snapchat the other day? She wasn’t on there before. But then again maybe I’m trying to add up every little thing to make a case.

I know this is my own insecurity which is why I’ve tried to ignore it because why is it their issue? But it’s getting to the point that Its eating me up inside and I’m becoming more jealous and territorial over my boyfriend than I usually would be.

Also just to note- all my other friends get along with my boyfriend, he’s an amazing guy but they are much more My friends, where as Katie feels like she’s turned into his friend now. no one’s this close with him.

so Reddit I come to you, what do I do?

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COMMENTS

These-Process-7331 > Just because you have a type for a decent BF and BFF doesn't make them "perfect" for eachother. > > To put it very easy: 2 whipped creams mix along pretty well but don't have a mind-blowing outcome. Cream and chocolate cake on otherhand: don't look the same at all but are SO good together, and both are elevated to the next level when combined! In this comparison: you are the chocolate cake and they are whipped cream. > > Ask yourself this: did you BF at any point show shady behavior (for example: trying to bring you down when a dress fitted you better)? > > OOP >> Thank you! This helped, to be honest I don’t know- she’s always there when I need her but lately she’s very all about him asking how he is, when we hangout ask if he’s going ect. >> >> These-Process-7331 >>> Hmm that is kinda eye brow raising..... I wouldn't directly jump into conclusions but will keep things a bit separately (better safe than sorry). >>> >>> Also, how does your BF behaves? >>> >>> OOP >>>> He treats her like a friend I guess, but sometimes things get abit weird when i try to join a conversation between them about games ect. >>>> >>>> Also she’s single, she has a thing for this one guy but it’s not going anywhere as far as I know

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Sad_Matter_4992 > I mean, as a gamer, if gaming is really not your thing and you’re forcing yourself into conversation about my hobby you don’t usually care about, I would 100% shrug it off too… they just have a hobby in common, it means nothing, if I can give my feelings about it, I think you took the fact they share a hobby you don’t have really personnaly and it’s not really healthy. > > OOP >> Gaming was just an example, lol. Theres a lot of other things they exclude me from even if I’m kinda into it.

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Signal_Condition348 (downvoted) > If you see that they are perfect for eachother maybe it would be wise to let them be happy together. Then you can focus on finding someone who you have more in common with and you can still stay friends with them.  > > OOP >> I wouldn’t be able to be friends with them unfortunately, if what I think is true then I’d step aside but I would no longer be in either of their lives

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midlifemax > Why do you need to include a third person. Can’t you just hang out with him? > > OOP >> Yes we do hangout alone but lately she keeps asking to see me and if I’m with him she will just show up sometimes or if it’s just me and her she will ask me to ask him to come

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onalarkonboard > It sounds strange, but you have an open enough heart, you are young and they are, too, and if you are really observing “soulmates” the right thing, I know it is wanted to say, but is to help them be together, in a way that shows you are not possessive, I know it might sound crazy, but if you really know Katie well and Ace (good fake name) it might be better for them to actually potentially be together, it might mean someone perfect is out there for you. > > 24 is young, but also a good tome to meet someone, it seems if you have an open enough heart, it might be worth letting them see if they are truly what you are observing. It is complicated to do this, see if it is what is in your emotional comfort. But if two people are truly soulmates, they should be together. If you are exaggerating you observations, then see what’s up by talking to your boyfriend. > > OOP >> If they are meant to be, then I’ll obviously have no objections because how could I? Unfortunately though I could not have them in my life’s if it gets to that, I couldn’t see my best friend be with someone I sleep with, I’m going to speak with my boyfriend Thursday about it all. And I will update, either way I think Katie and me will have to have abit of distance now, this has showed me I don’t really trust her.

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TwoPlusTwoMakesA5 (downvoted) > As hard as it may be don’t be possessive. If they truly have found love in each other, accept that and be happy for them. There will be someone else for you down the road. > > This concept that you own him because you found him first is ridiculous. Let love find its way however it may be. > > OOP >> I’m not saying I own him at all, sorry if it came across that way but as I’ve stated in other comments- if I’m right and they’re the better match they can be together but I won’t be around them, I can’t do that to myself- even if it seems selfish

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hahahahahkys > What game do they play together ? Have you ever tried learning more about it too > > OOP >> It’s on his pc, she doesn’t own the game, I had ago but it’s horror where I as I play more like pvp on Minecraft or ddlc

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Final Update - after 3 days

^(September 30, 2026)

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I think I introduced soulmates, but it’s my boyfriend and best friend

I didn’t expect this to blow up the way it did thank you everyone mean and kind for all your insights, I’ve read every single comment but haven’t replied to all of them. Very appropriated.

Onto the update:

so Reddit, you were half right.

I spoke to my boyfriend first,and I took your advice.

I told him how uncomfortable I was, how I didn’t expect them to stop being friends but from now on I wanted her to be more of an arm length friend because it felt like i was a third in the relationship.

he let me see his phone and apologised profusely for making me feel that way, safe to say atleast on his end- there was no flirting/ suspicious behaviour and all messages were saved.

he told me- and I’ve seen the messages for proof, she added him- said she has a thing for a guy in his course and asked him to help her, I do not buy this.

Katie doesn’t just get feelings for some random guy she saw in the hallway and thought was cute.

I rang Katie in-front of my boyfriend and she started crying her eyes out.

She started out by saying “it wasn’t meant to happen” and “she didn’t want to hurt me”

okay, but then why lie about liking another guy to spend time with my boyfriend??

I told her to stop the bs and just admit she was flirting.

she did, she said she’s “sorry” but she’s and I quote “a much better fit for him” than I am, and to be honest.. I don’t doubt why she feels that way, I mean look at the title of this exact post.

she said she’s sorry over and over but I didn’t budge.

I told her me and my boyfriend will still be civil to her since we share the same friend group, and they go to uni together- but no longer will we be hanging out with her alone

to be honest, I’d love to lie and say that I’m fine, but I’m not.

This girl has been my rock since I was 14.

Which is why I’m not cutting her out completely even though i probably should.

we’ve gone through everything together and this genuinely hurts my heart, never would have 14-22 year old me thought id ever purposely distance myself from this girl.

so yeah, that’s probably the last time I’ll update this post unless something major happens but I doubt it will since it’s been a couple hours and I’ve heard nothing.

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This is a repost sub. I’m not the Original OP (OOP)

Please remember to follow the subreddit rules, especially the ones about brigading.

Let’s aim for a respectful and friendly discussion for everyone involved.