Dating App Help & Issues with Polyamory
Hi Everyone,
I recently went through a big breakup, and I've been getting back on dating apps. I wanted to share a weird feeling I'm having, because I don't know how to classify it and I'd like some thoughts and/or validation.
For context: 26YO Non-Binary AMAB, mostly attracted to women or twinky feminine men. My relationships are monogamous, but I'm totally okay with casual things. If I'm seeing someone, and we haven't made anything official, I totally do not care if they are casually dating around outside of me. Just as long as someone is clean and communicates, that casual thing has never bothered me, and I would hope it wouldn't bother the other person too. I'm super secure in this regard. Once we make it official, though, I would expect both of us to stop seeing other people. Monogamy.
However, ever since getting back on dating apps, I've been seeing so many "poly & partnered" or "poly & dating solo". I feel like seeing someone who is poly would probably have a similar outcome to classic casual dating - going on dates, hooking up, not developing strong emotional attachments, and having fun, which is literally my goal. But, for some reason, people putting that label on it immediately turns me off. It's an immediate and visceral reaction, and again, I'm not even going for a committed monogamous relationship right now.
I've never really had a *bad* experience with a poly person - I've never dated one, and while I know a few people who are poly, it's never really bothered me that they do that. Only one of them really bothers me and he pulled some really messed up shit on one of his partners, but fundamentally I'm not weirded out by the poly relationship style.
I am just genuinely confused as to why I am finding myself automatically uninterested in poly people, despite that it would probably widen my options and result in what I'm going for right now. I would appreciate any thoughts on these feelings, or explain why I am having such an immediate disinterest and ick reaction. I don't really know anyone who is in this weird limbo phase, where I'm secure enough to want casual non-committed flings, but I don't consider myself poly in the slightest and am actively freaked out by something I don't really care much about.
Thanks!!!