Does masking feel like manipulation to you?
I had a late autism diagnosis (37).
Meaning I’ve become a little bit good on the masking side. I’ve learned what makes people angry and avoid it, but I’ve also learned what makes people happy/at ease.
People love gossip, giving their opinion on famous people/subjects and open questions about things they think they know. Also basic/simple jokes can be helpful.
So if I’m going to have a difficult conversation or I’m going to request something, I want them to think I care about whatever they care, so they reciprocate that feeling with me. Meaning I already have 50% of the battle won. Now it’s up to me to let them know how they can help me.
I’ve being doing this for quite a while but now that I’m diagnosed I feel like I’m manipulating people. However, when I don’t follow this kind of procedure people tend to be more critical of me and my requests, resulting in a much more complicated conversation. So I give them what they want even if I feel like it’s stupid and time wasting.
Does anyone ever feel like this?
Now I understand masking and its consequences for me, but I also understand the consequences for other people when I don’t mask (they feel I don’t care for them, they feel I’m a robot or just plain weird). Tit for tat I guess.