AITAH for friend zoning the guy that I’ve been seeing
Heads up this is a bit long and complex. For protection of the people involved I’ll use fake names.
I 29 F recently rejoined the online dating world. I had no intent of meeting anyone, just strictly for entertainment. I ended up connecting with a guy… let’s call him Kyle 31. A little background Kyle is 31, has a son that he has pretty much full time, and allegedly works multiple jobs. We started talking on Snapchat in February, vague conversations. It eventually lead to him asking me on a date on a Thursday. I agreed to the said date. Thursday comes around and he doesn’t message me so I carried on with my night. I didn’t take it personal because I know he has his son and life happens. Fast forward he messages me and reschedules. He lives 2 hours from me.. Kyle drove 2 hours to pick me up and we went to a bowling alley 30 minutes from me. I had a great time things went well at the beginning. Things got hot and heavy and I disclosed to him that I have HSV-1 GH which I got last year. He was obviously taken back by it which is expected I wasn’t offended. I’ve been in these situations and usually I’m ghosted. He insisted he wasn’t going to ghost, and didn’t. He brought me home and we continued to talk. He wanted to see me at the last minute a few days later but I needed time to process everything myself. A week later he wanted to get a hotel room and take me out the next day. He didn’t plan it well. He got to my house to pick me up late which was fine because I had to help with family stuff anyway. When he got to my house he had no hotel booked and nothing planned. He started calling around looking for one… it was 11:00 PM. He wanted a smoking room so he could smoke *grass* I reminded him that I have asthma and can’t deal with a smoking room. I finally find one 30 minutes north he called and booked it but complained that it was $100. Maybe I’m a bit old fashioned but this was his idea and I wasn’t paying for a thing. We start driving there and he asked me what I want for dinner. Since it was as late I told him Applebees is good. He asked me if I was going to pay.. I said no? It was his idea why would I pay… and on top of that he allegedly works multiple jobs and lives with his mother. He pays for the takeout and we get to the hotel. After eating I changed into a cute outfit. I also want to add I showed him the stuff I ordered us to use and asked if he was ok with it.. he was excited and said yes. Once I get into my cute outfit I got anxious. I haven’t slept with anyone since my traumatic outbreak of HSV-1 last year. We ended up just passing out and I was relieved. In the morning things got hot and heavy but nothing crazy. I got ready for the day: I must add that one of his jobs is instacart and that’s fine but he went out and did an order while I got ready came back showed and we left. He ends up doing another order WITH ME IN THE CAR. Anyway we make it to the city and we went to a museum that I suggested. He instantly complained that he paid almost $100 for us to get in and that it wasn’t worth the money. Fast forward he refused to pay the parking garage fee of $18 so I did. Next he did ANOTHER ORDER in the city which took almost 2 hours. We finally get back to my house and on the way he said he wanted to meet my family. So he did. It seemed like it went well. He left and called me shortly after. We continue talking the next few days. I decided to get a rental vehicle for the week because I currently don’t have a car and I also do DoorDash and multiple delivery apps. He asked me to come 2 hours away and see him. He knows I’m a full time student and I work maybe 20/30 hours a week so obviously I’m not Bill Gates. When I got there I saw him and did a few deliveries while exploring the area. The night ends and he ends up making me book and pay for the hotel room for the night. **I didn’t want to stay at his mom’s house I haven’t met her or Kyle’s son and he wasn’t ready for that either**. He ends up getting a griddle at the store and cooking me steak. While we were at the store he mentioned some kind of toy that his son had wanted.. it was $20 so I said let me buy for him. We go to the next store to get the steak.. I find out later he stole one of the steaks.. THEY WERE $7 EACH!! I do not like people that steal. Anyway steak was good we pass out wake up and start the day. He went to go pick his son up and bring him to school and I worked for a bit. Late afternoon he calls me with his son in the car but I was in his AirPod.. started degrading and complaining about the mother of his child IN FRONT OF HIS SON…. MAJOR TURNOFF. All because he went there to pick up his son’s medicine and she had a man there.. so I said if you’re done with being with her why do you care. He got real quiet. He also lied about when they broke up originally he told me 2 years but it was really a year. I also am one of those social media diggers so I saw that his ex girlfriend took a vacation last April so I asked him when the last time he took a vacation was and he said last April I go oh with your ex girlfriend? He said no with his son.. interesting because they were at the same spot. He also kept ignoring my Facebook friend request so I asked him what he didn’t want me to see and he said nothing. Anyway fast forward it’s late and dark and I can’t see well at night. We get to the hotel and GUESS WHO PAID AGAIN… ME! I end up changing because he wanted to go get dinner at the Chinese food buffet and so did I. Mind you my cousin just got done telling me buffets are cheap and never let a man take me to one. While I’m getting ready he was rushing me and I guess I got an attitude he stood up and got in my face RED FLAG. Anyway we get to the buffet and he’s complaining about the price… it’s $25 per person lol for working multiple jobs and paying no bills he sure cares a lot about money. As we’re sitting there I notice his finger nails FULL OF DIRT. Then I realize he’s in the same outfit… clearly didn’t go home and shower at the start of the day like he said he was. Finally we get back to the room. At this point I’m turned off and want to leave but I already paid and again can’t see well at night. He didn’t shower. He took his sweatshirt off with no shirt underneath. We got into bed next to me and I went to sleep right away. I woke up a little before 4:00 pm and all I smell is cheap grass with tobacco and ARMPIT BO. He went outside for an hour to smoke. We both went back to sleep for a few hours and he leaves to get his mom to work and pick his son up. He son didn’t have school so he was going to figure out what he wanted to do which was great because I was going home anyway lol. He called me because I told him I checked out of the hotel. Apparently he wanted to take his son swimming in the hotel pool? Weird because I didn’t know and haven’t met his son because we BOTH weren’t ready. Anyway I was scrolling through social media and he share stuff about wanting a girl he could buy flowers for lol because he never bought me flowers. He also posted that he has a job offer in the south and will be moving. So I call him. He said he has an interview Monday. I asked if his son was going with him.. no it’s not my business but I wanted to see the type of man his is because as stated he has him almost 7 days a week and he doesn’t like going to his mom’s house. He said he was leaving his son here. So I end talking to him shortly after and I tell him I think we should be friend because he seems like he’s still getting over his ex and plans to move south anyway. He got a little upset and said he’s not stuck on his ex. It gets quiet and he tells me it’s a deal breaker that I have HSV-1 GH. Which would be an acceptable response if It wasn’t when he was kissing me and laying up on me though lol I take antivirals daily and also added L-Lysine to help reduce my risk of passing it to about 1%.. anyway so now he’s trying to flirt with me again and wants to spend more time with me. So I’m confused… AITAH?!!!