u/naoyainouefan999

Even when I fall asleep. And I dream. I still get bizarre dreams and dreams where my ocd follows me. I’ll be experiencing normality in a dream then my ocd flares up again. I also have very bizarre dreams. Like i had a dream that gattouz0 stole my imaginary girlfriend. And I have dreams about people hating me. I think it’s cuz of my self stigma. A lot of my issue probably stems from mistakes I’ve made in the past and bad people that I’ve surrounded myself with. I’m also addicted to bad habits outside of drugs that warp my mind. My mind was warped from a pretty early age and I got 10/10 on the ACE score or whatever. I’m slowly feeling less hopeless and I’m even gonna try out a new boxing/mma gym next week. I think I’ll just try my best to be like: “hey guys I gotta let u know I have this issue with my eyes so if you ever see me staring at you just try to ignore me because it’s kinda a tic”. The best thing about these environments is that people can beat me up for having these problems if they don’t like it! I think I’m kinda crazy. The only thing I have going for me is that I have a lot of money saved up and invested in a stock, so I don’t have to worry about getting a job. I can just focus on my lifelong dream of being famous and inspiring people! I’ll try my best to spread awareness for this disorder if I make it. And if you guys ever need to talk to someone or just wanna be mutuals my Instagram is: nayif._999. Long story short, my life has been super messed up and now with this disorder it’s gonna be challenging to fix it myself. But I will do it for you guys! Because even with this disorder I’m still blessed.

Has anybody here actually been able to overcome this form of ocd? Like completely? Like be able to do normal things again? Have their symptoms completely gone? If so please share with us what you have done. For me I had to give up smoking pot and whatnot. But my symptoms are still here.

Hello. My name is Lorenzo Boess and I've been struggling with Visual OCD for about a yeah and half now. It started around when I graduated and I was about to turn 18. I just turned 19, and to say the least it's been living hell. I had really high expectations for myself to consistently trained mixed martial arts because I look up to spectacular athletes like Payton Talbott and Charles Oliveira. Unfortunately this disorder forced me to abandon that dream. But the one thing that I physically can't abandon is my music. I've been playing the guitar since I was like 9 and I've been making music since I was 14. Thats the one thing I'm really good at and I want to make a living out of it. I've seen people on this subreddit talk about having this disorder for years. And that seems really unfortunate and sad. I personally think I have what it takes to overcome this. But I can only imagine what life is like for people who may not be as positive about what their future may look like. But fortunately I have a good group of musician friends who are willing to accept me despite my flaw. And in the worse case scenario that I have to deal with this for the rest of my life. I will at least make it my mission to bring attention to this mental plague. My friends and I made a progressive/emo/hardcore band called folk county (like the funny cat meme). And we are based in San Diego county/SoCal. And at every show we play, we will set up donation booths to fund a website about Visual Tourettic OCD + other forms of OCD. Because all forms of OCD a plague that nobody should have to deal with. Please be on the lookout for us, because every person deserves to go out to eat, spend time with their friends and family, and live life in control of their own bodies. Hopefully as our band gets more popular we can bring attention to lesser known mental disorders like this, and contribute some good to the world through the universal language of music. This will not be easy, but I will try my best to raise awareness on the behalf of everybody dealing with this issue. Thank you.

- Lorenzo boess (naoyainouefan999)

I just turned 19 a few days ago. So understandably, my future gets more and more important to the present. I've been dealing with peripheral vision ocd for about a year and a half now. It led me to isolate myself and I lost my friends. Not because of the issue, but because the one thing that has been taught to me after dealing with this issue is that nobody will be upfront and direct with you. They'll just speak badly about you instead of asking how you're doing. Or label you a weirdo. But there's an upside for me personally I guess. Welding seems like a decent job for people with his issue, as your in your own booth all day and a lot of your work requires you to wear face coverings. In terms of hobbies I personally think that Jiu Jitsu and Judo have been the least stressful third spaces for me to be in while having this issue. As your either face to face with someone or your beside them, it kinda is natural for people to glance at each other by accident. And the communities are pretty chill to: so if you just say something like "I have X problem, I'm sorry in advance so please don't mind me", they will be welcoming of you regardless. I am 99% sure. I'm gonna schedule an eye exam and neurologist exam in the coming month to get down to the bottom of this issue to see if this is a physical or mental problem. But you really just need to hang in there. Do your research. Watch some anime lol. Find hope in fiction. I'm in north county San Diego (Vista) and if anybody has a similar issue we should create a group and meetup to speak about our issues. I think it would be very beneficial as it's hard to find people with the same problem as me. Or if you are a musician with this issue I'm currently looking for a drummer and bassist to help me with my music that I make, or just to jam. I'm honestly just rambling but I hope someone can see this and feel related to at the very least. I believe there is hope. Don't lose it.

my dad tells me "just will power your way thru this, it's up to you how your life turns out" but he's never felt what its like to get called a creep, creepy, etc. To not be able to sit in a classroom. To not be able to watch a movie in the theater because there's a person next to you/ in front of you. What is this damn disease?? what is the cure??? my dreams are being crushed. I just wanna have a normal life, or at the very least be able to control my own body... I had a bad childhood with bad parents, had a bad teenhood with bad friends, now I can't even live like a normal person. I can't go to the store, I can't get a job, I can't go to college, I can't go out to eat at a restaurant. None of that. I just wanna be normal again. my brain is like "no! :)" I hate my brain. I hate my head. I hate my eyes. I hate that now I'm just a weirdo. Because of something I can't control. This is ridiculous. This is tragic. I don't know how to proceed. Every day has just been the same. This feels so undeserving.