u/nash_263

I honestly wouldn’t be posting this if it wasn’t eating at me.Warning, this may be a tad bit long.

I’ve been dating this girl and, honestly, I have very little to complain about when it comes to the actual relationship. She makes me feel loved and cared for, pays attention to the little things, gives me gifts, etc. She’s not perfect, but she’s good to me.

The issue is where we’re going in life.

I’m very education/career focused. I grew up with the belief that education and building a career were important foundations for your future. I know the world has changed and a degree isn’t the only path to success, but I still value ambition, having goals, and actively working towards something.

She passed O Levels but struggled with A Levels and never went to university. That by itself isn't really the problem. My concern is that she doesn't seem particularly interested in further education or have any clear alternative plan either. She’s in her early 20s, so I understand that she may still be figuring things out. Her parents are also willing to support her if she decides to pursue further education or another path. She was actually supposed to start university outside Zimbabwe, but that fell through for reasons that weren't really her fault.

What bothers me is the lack of direction and follow through. She’ll talk about doing certain things, but then nothing really happens or her expressions are as if she's being forced. She does make some money with a "dropshipping" like business here so there's that, but i feel like its not guaranteed and reliable but it seems thats what she's into, the quick deals and "hustles".

So now I’m starting to wonder if i can really see myself building a future with someone whose approach to their future is so different from mine?

I don't expect her to have her entire life figured out at this age, nor do I think university automatically makes someone successful. But I do want a partner who shares my mindset of wanting to grow, build something and have some direction.

So, would it be unreasonable to end a genuinely good relationship because you realise your long term values and ambitions might not align?

I’m not asking whether she’s “good enough.” She is. I’m asking whether being good to each other is enough when you’re worried you may want fundamentally different things out of life.

Ini I just want to say...

I know Shona is your language if you can speak it. If you can't speak it - it's NOT your language

So if your Love Language is Gifts - we will see it by you giving a lot.

We should wonder "why do you give your boyfriend so many gifts?" And your answer should be - "It's love guys, I just want to show it"

BUT IF GIFTS are only your language when you are receiving them NOT giving them - you are NO different from a French person who says he is Shona only when he wants to hear it being spoken

Like the title says, how do you find friends who are genuinely curious about the world?

Lately I've noticed that a lot of conversations around me tend to revolve around the same topics over and over again, and while there's nothing wrong with that, I find myself craving deeper or more unusual discussions.

I'd love to have friends who can go from talking about basic conversations one minute to debating whether artificial intelligence will change society, discussing history, philosophy, economics, science, psychology, or even some random thought on a Tuesday afternoon.

I'm not looking for people who are necessarily "smart" in the academic sense. I'm more interested in curiosity the kind of person who asks questions, enjoys learning new things, and isn't afraid to explore ideas just for the sake of understanding them.

For those of you who've found friends like this, where did you meet them and for the grace of God, could please drop me a pin!!!

Got a genuine one...

I always hear friends talking about their sneaky links or FWB situations, and I genuinely wonder how those conversations even happen. Like, I understand why people go for that setup, but I’m more curious about the how🤔

For context, I’m a sub 25 8 to 5 guy, usually in bed by 9 most weekdays unless it’s the weekend and I’m actually outside. Between work, routine, and life, trying to start a full on relationship feels like a whole second job tjoh, zvine labour...

So after hearing friends recommend the FWB route, I started wondering... for people in those setups, how did it even begin? Did it naturally happen over time, or did someone straight up bring it up? And if so… how do you even propose something like that without making it awkward?