Unpopular opinion
A lot of people needed kissing classes. Please invest in those. Practice on your pillow. You’re not a vacuum.

I’m a 26F and my boyfriend is 31M. We’ve been together for almost a year, and our relationship has been really good. We get along well, we love each other, and there haven’t been any major issues between us.

Lately though, I’ve been having a lot of thoughts about my future and career. I’m a dentist, and I’ve started seriously considering moving abroad specifically to Canada or Ireland because I feel like I could have better opportunities, better income, and overall a different quality of life there. I’m still young, and part of me feels like this might be the best time to take that kind of leap.

The thing is, my boyfriend is much more settled. He’s happy with his career and life in Zimbabwe, and earlier in our relationship we actually talked about this topic. At the time, we both agreed that we saw ourselves staying in Zim long term. Back then, I was also more content with where my career was heading. But over time, my perspective has changed.

Right now this move is still in the planning stage and nothing is finalized yet, but realistically, if I do it, it would probably happen toward the end of next year.

What I’m struggling with is whether I should tell him now even though nothing is certain yet. I also wonder if it’s unfair to bring this up when we previously agreed we wanted the same future. I keep thinking about whether relationships realistically survive situations like this and how to even navigate the conversation without hurting him or creating panic too early.

I really do love him, so this isn’t about wanting to leave the relationship. I just feel torn between building a future with someone I care about and pursuing opportunities that could completely change my life and career.

I’d really appreciate advice from people who’ve been in similar situations.

Hi everyone, I have a bit of a strange question and I’m genuinely trying to understand something without offending anyone. My mother is Zimbabwean and my father is European. I live outside Zimbabwe, but in a city with a fairly large Zimbabwean community. The problem is that I often feel like I’m not fully accepted by either side, not fully “Zimbabwean,” but also treated as just a white guy sometimes. I’ve tried dating Zimbabwean women, and I’ve noticed a pattern that confuses me. A lot of them say they only want sex after marriage, even if they’ve had previous relationships, sex or experience before. I’m not judging that at all, I’m just trying to understand the mindset and cultural perspective behind it. Another thing is that sometimes everything seems to be going really well for months, no arguments or obvious problems, and then suddenly they end the relationship out of nowhere without much explanation. I honestly don’t know if I’m doing something wrong or if it’s related to culture, family expectations, religion, or something else. Could someone explain how relationships and dating are viewed in Zimbabwean culture, especially when it comes to expectations from men like me? I’d genuinely like to understand it better.

63 divorce cases today in Harare chete. Marriage dzenyu dzikurambira papi chaipo?

What's the craziest thing you have done so far to get laid, the one from your top drawer?

The above title states the issue. I (25f) have a certain behavioral issue that I am trying to get rid of: I fall for anyone who shows me concern especially friends of the opposite gender. Like you may say that is normal right? Noooo, in my case, opening the door for me is enough for me to start thinking about future wedding venues and choosing children names. Recently I've found myself developing feelings for someone who I've just newly become friends with and I don't want to ruin the friendship by having this crush on them and thinking quote 'unruly' thoughts about them. Realistically, I know it would be difficult to be with him due to major cultural, religious, and racial differences, but I can't stop the fixation anyhow because he keeps on being nice. This has been going on for some weeks, and I have tried staying away, less contacting even physically running away when I have seen him around, but aaaaargh, it's not working. I feel like at my age, I'm supposed to be using my full brain when it comes to this relationship stuff, but my heart tends to say otherwise. The last time I had a crush like this, it lasted 5 years( no handina kumbobvira ndaudza munhu wacho due to fear of rejection) n I can't get into any relationship due to these crushes. How do I stop this infatuation effectively and keep my head level minded and not probably waste months thinking about a person who realistically I may never be with?

I moved from Bulawayo a while ago and was wondering where exactly does on go for cheap and chill 1st dates, cause Whenever I ask for suggestions from a girl its either they have no idea or suggest Smokehouse or Mozambik which isn't really ideal for a 1st date lol.

Some suggestions please

Dating apps, social media, and even casual encounters make it seem like we have endless options. Swipe left, swipe right, DM here, number there… but when you step back, most of those choices feel like angori different doors leading to the same hallway.

The illusion is that we’re choosing between unique partners, but often it’s just the same patterns repeating, shallow conversations, recycled attention, or people chasing validation especially ipapa I think most girls are seeking male validation . It makes me wonder, are we really choosing partners, or just picking different packaging for the same outcome?

Sometimes I think the only real choice is refusing to play into the illusion at all protecting your peace instead of chasing another option that isn’t truly different. Time is precious we could use all that energy juggling between 5 people in other productive endeavors.

Growing up taking my problems to my parents was basically a death wish.

When someone grows up learning that opening up leads to being dismissed, criticized, punished, or emotionally ignored, they adapt by becoming private.

After enough “brick wall” experiences, my brain basically learned“Keeping things to myself is safer.”

So when my parents suddenly wanted emotional closeness later on, it felt confusing, frustrating, or even intrusive because the foundation for that openness was never built in the first place.

I broke up with my man of 2 years and am struggling with the whole break up even though I initiated it. For context, all through our relationship there were things that just pointed toward him not being as into me as I was into him. Final straw was when I took him away for his birthday and his behaviour was a bit off. While there we had an interesting conversation about a woman he was seeing before he and I started dating. He told me he didnt really break up with her but just started distancing himself until the lady figured it out. After his birthday he started acting really distant and would make excuses whenever I asked when we would next meet. I could sense he was pulling away and i called him out on it which he denied saying he was under a lot of financial pressure and just felt he couldn't give me his all until he was out of the tight spot he was in. This hurt me im not gon lie. After a few days I decided to walk away but I told him instead of ghosting like he was doing me. He didnt argue or even try to talk me out of breaking up with him. This was last week. Im hurting very much because I truly cared for him but I cant force him to love me. I just want to ask him if he was indeed distancing himself as a way of breaking up with me, I figure if he tells me maybe it will be easier for me to move on. Please advise

Hi there, I’m looking to chat and meet with single ladies from Harare. Get in touch if you want to know more!

Hi guys, I need some advice. What side effects did you experience from taking morning after pills. My girl took some yesterday and she was fine with a loss of appetite. But today she woke up with cramps and says they are really bad. I need to know if someone else has had a similar experience and what helped.

I genuinely need to ask: is it some sort of crime for a 22-year-old Zimbabwean woman to have a boyfriend?

My girlfriend still lives with her parents, and every time I call, there is always some excuse.

• "My dad is around."
• "My mom is here."
• "I can't talk right now."
• "I'll call you later." (and sometimes she never does)

At first, I understood. African parents, especially Zimbabwean parents, can be strict and protective. Some families still treat a 22-year-old daughter like she's 15, and anything involving relationships is handled with secrecy.

But at the same time, I'm starting to wonder:

• Is this just a normal Zimbabwean girl experience?
• Are some parents really that controlling?
• Or is there something fishy going on?

Because honestly, at 22 you are an adult. You should at least be able to answer a simple phone call without acting like you're committing a crime.

I know our culture can be conservative, especially when parents are religious or traditional. Some girls hide relationships completely to avoid endless questions, lectures, and judgment. But when every single interaction feels like a covert military operation, it starts to raise doubts.

So I want to hear from fellow Zimbabweans:

• Are parents really this strict with daughters in their twenties?
• Do Zimbabwean girls often hide relationships like this?
• Am I overthinking it?
• Or should I be concerned that I'm being kept in the shadows?

Because at this point, I can't tell whether I'm dating someone under strict parental surveillance or I'm just being given excuses.

Zimbabweans, please explain.

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I’m 27 (F) my bf is 34 and we’re set to get married in Aug. His character is genuinely so questionable. Like he’s the type to switch off his phone for days if his mom is asking him for money. He has done some really foul things in the past that i have forgiven but last night was extreme. last night i pretended like i was really really drunk just to see how he would act. We started making out and having sex and i pretended like i had passed out. He saw i was passed out, called out my name a few time and shook me and i acted like dead weight. Suprisingly he continued until he came. When i was ‘sobered up’ we went out and he was extra nice, kept asking if i wanted anything, we had talked about getting me a car a while back and now he just gave me a budget and asked me to pick a car, he kept telling me how much he loves me and he even said ‘thank you so much for loving me’ but i just feel so disgusted. I dont know what to do..

I'd honestly like to know how many toxic relationships you've been in & how many relationships have you poisoned??

accidentally made TLTRD but please bare with me

The Plan is simple . i need someone to randomly bump into ex and they start a conversation that goes something like this

"Hi Ms, I'm sorry to disturb you, but do you by any chance believe in God or spiritual things?"

She agrees, and you continue:

"I'm actually just passing through on my way from [wherever] to [wherever]. I'm rarely in this area, and honestly, I had no idea why I even ended up here today. But I've just realized —God wanted to use me as a vessel to tell you something."

She's intrigued now, leaning in.

"I see a relationship in your life that is strained. I'm not entirely sure if this is a brother or a father figure... do you by any chance know someone whose name starts with an N? A Nathan? A Nelson? A Noel?"

She shakes her head. You pause, then speak with quiet confidence:

"Wait there's a Nigel(Her Fathers name). I feel a Nigel around you strongly, but... no, that's not quite it either. The name I'm getting is and forgive me, I've never heard this name before in my life Nyatsimba."

She freezes.

"This person," you continue, "you cut them off. But they were never meant to leave your life they were placed there on purpose. The blessings that are coming their way and they are coming were designed to be shared nemi muri 2 . There are things God has prepared that are meant for the two of you together. . Reach out. Make it right. "

or you could end it with by saying something like if you don't he is dying . and you get a call and walk out never to be seen again

I know it sounds strange, but it’s true. I’ve done so much at my age and achieved a lot, and I thought love would complete it all but I was wrong. I feel like what I really need to do is find peace and happiness in being alone.

I take long drives, travel around Zimbabwe, and go out of the country just to figure something out: why is it so hard for me to find someone who is meant for me? Why do I feel like I have to pour everything into someone, only to be left empty in the end? Because of this, I've decided to love myself and choose me.

I have found peace in sitting in open fields, laying on the green grass, listening to music, and enjoying nature. My trip to Switzerland showed me that there’s more to life than just searching for "the one." Instead, I should search for ways to complete myself and satisfy that little kid in me who still has hopes and dreams.

I’m not saying I’ve completely given up on love; I think it will eventually find me in the future. But what I am saying is that before it does, I want to enjoy what the world has to offer and give my heart and mind some peace and solitude.

My friends tell me no one will ever perfectly fit what I want and if someone is good enough, that should be good enough. I disagree.

And it's not that I am totally inflexible. I am more than willing to compromise on a lot, except the vibe. Like the vibe is the most important thing for me. You can tick all the boxes on my list but if the vibe isn't where I want it to be, I'm out. Some would say this teenage behaviour and someone in their 30s shouldn't make vibes the deciding factor in looking for a partner but Idk man, that's just how I am. I refuse to spend my life with someone I'm not constantly obsessed with and heart fluttering to. The issue is, for me this isn't a reaction towards something that someone does. There's literally nothing you can do to make me feel this way about you, I either do or I don't. Hence, vibes.

Anyone's brain work the same way?