My (27f) partner of 6 years (28m) has been cheating on me … for the past 6 years
Me, 27F, and my partner, 28M, have known each other since primary school, and have been in a relationship for the past 6years. No kids , not married, bought a house together 2 years ago.
I went through his phone over the weekend and found hundreds of dick picks being sent to and from other males on various social media accounts. I also found history on hookup webpage sites, proof of a grinder account etc.
He’s always been quite sneaky with his phone. But I’ve never gone through his phone and never thought to question he was bi.
He told me he’s been struggling with his sexuality since high school, and due to an interaction with his parents could never admit this side of himself to me or even himself. He promises he never met with any of them or has physically done anything with anyone.
He is an extremely horny man and I’m not so sexually driven. We have sex maybe once /twice a week which he has always promised is enough for him. Our sex life is adventurous, and we have in the past opened it up (think swingers nights etc.)
He says he could never be with a man romantically, and could never be attracted to a man outside of sex, it’s just in his mind engaging by with a female is cheating, whereas with a male it isn’t.
This feels like years of betrayal, like our whole relationship has been a lie, like I don’t know the person I’m sleeping next to.
He says he only loves me and only wants a family with me, but there’s this side of him he can’t explain and doesn’t mean anything other than for pleasure.
Has this ever happened to anyone else?
Bi-sexual men of reddit, can anyone relate?
Am I being dragged into another stereotypical ‘I’ve just been caught cheating I’ll say anything to make it right’ type apology?
Does the fact that I had no clue say anything about what type of relationship I thought I was in, vs. what I was actually in?