Husband gives silent treatment over sex
I have been married for almost a year. My husband and I are both teachers and are very busy. He does a lot of coaching and I do an after school activity for multiple days throughout our school year, so we don’t see each other nearly as much as we see our students and coworkers. I struggle with depression and anxiety and have been on many different antidepressants to manage it. My newest one, I’ve noticed, has created a low libido for me. The older I’ve gotten and the more stressed I am, I also notice my libido is lower. Honestly, the last time I had a high libido is probably in 2022, and it wasn’t even that high. My husband’s libido is pretty high like he wants sex almost 4-5 days out of a week. Me, on the other hand, am fine with once a week or even less. It is very hard for me to get into the mood especially after a long day. When we both finally get home, we eat dinner, watch a show, check our phones, and that’s basically it. I feel like we are already lacking the connection that we once had and it makes me feel really scared and sad. We’ve talked about it multiple times, but it seems to always creep back up. Whenever he initiates sex, I have a hard time always wanting to since my libido is low and sometimes I just straight up don’t want to have sex. He claims he doesn’t get mad, but I can tell he does. He’s given me the silent treatment multiple times afterwards and the next day, always says things like, “It makes me feel like you don’t like me when you always reject me,” and “Sorry that I just want to have sex with my wife.” To an extent, I get where he is coming from, but I also feel like him not just accepting a simple “No,” from me, makes me feel uncomfortable almost. I don’t want to have to feel guilty for saying no. I have explained to him over and over my feelings too about it, and I feel like my feelings are more dismissed than his. Maybe I am overreacting, but I’m not sure how to get over this. It happens at least once a month. I just don’t want this to continue to take a toll on our marriage.
tldr: Husband wants sex, and I am not in the mood. Gives me the silent treatment and makes me feel guilty. How do I navigate this after explaining to him multiple times that my libido is low and that sometimes I just don’t want to have sex.