Mom just won’t say “I will respect your boundaries”
Some context (there’s a lot of other detail so if anything is confusing I can clarify)-
My mom keeps sending me links and phone number resources for housing. I don’t know where I’m going to live after July 31st and I’m going to consult an attorney about whether I can press charges against my apartment/“dorm” for medical discrimination (they’re refusing to allow me to renew my lease). They refuse to give me anything in writing or email about it despite my requests.
Anyway, my plans for school and my foreseeable future have been totally derailed by all of that so my mom is in full panic mode and sending me links and resources left and right. She says she’s just trying to help but the way that she is doing it is extremely stressful and overwhelming and she is acting like the sky is going to fall if I don’t look at all of these resources right this second RIGHT NOW. I’ve repeatedly told her to stop doing it and today I was so done with it so the text exchange ensued.
I don’t have any money saved now because it’s been used towards rent, gas, and other necessary expenses. Living with my parents is not an option because my dad abused me and I have CPTSD from childhood. I’m haven’t been in contact with him since September 2025 and I have no plans or desire to contact him ever again. I’ve tried to maintain a relationship with my mom but it’s exhausting. I’ve had to set boundaries multiple times regarding her telling me things my dad has said (about me, her, or anything in general because I don’t need to hear it). A few months ago she brought me groceries (she’s been occasionally buying me groceries, since she has offered to and I took her up on it) and told me not to say anything to my dad about her buying me groceries because he threatened to divorce her if she supported me financially in any way. She already knew that I wasn’t talking to him so I got upset with her and reminded her of that boundary. Since then she’s been following that one.
However, she just takes any other boundaries I set as suggestions she can choose to take or leave, or she will follow them for a bit, then toe the line until I get frustrated and remind her of said boundary.
Today I put my foot down more strongly and for the love of God I can’t get her to just say “I will respect your boundaries.” I meant what I said and if she doesn’t tell me that and then follow through, I will also be going no-contact with her. She enabled my dad’s abuse and we had an argument when I got diagnosed with CPSTD because I was disgusted and extremely angry with her for not protecting me from him or getting me out of the situation. They are married and live together.
As for the “‘woe is me being a parent is hard I’m a terrible mother’” remark I made, she has done that several times to guilt-trip me into backing down when I’m upset with her.
Side note- “Beeboos” refers to my two birds who are ESAs.