I’m finding the basic house chores difficult to do without breaking down. Not so much going through her stuff, just the doing dishes, vacuuming and other miscellaneous stuff. 3 months in now.
Over the years, there is a fast food place I usually would stop by once or twice a week to grab something on my way to work. The manager would recognize me and ask how I’m doing in the usual customer/establishment relation. Shortly after my fiancée passed, I stopped in to try to eat something in my grieving state and she asked me how I was doing and I was frank with her and told her that my partner had passed. She was genuinely sorry for my loss. Cut to two days ago( over two months since I last saw the manager) and at the drive-through window she asks me how I’m doing and I gave the usual “I’m ok”. She didn’t accept that answer and asked again, how am I doing. That meant a lot to me, and I told her that I’m hanging in there. I decided to ask her how she was doing and she told me about her son battling several forms of cancer right now and how she is having to work 70 plus hours a week just to pay the bills. Broke my heart. But what got to me most was this woman that was going through so much in her life that she actually cared to ask me how I’m doing.
Be kind to yourself and to others. ❤️
She was diagnosed in January 2025 with stage 4 cancer that metastasized to her liver. Before the end of 2024, she was an active person that loved doing Pilates, playing Cello, hiking, and learning new things. 2025 on she was pretty much bed ridden for a year and a half. She kept her spirits up, fought hard, and kept fighting. The day before she passed, I told her that she did great but it was ok to stop fighting. She apologized which she never needed to do. She was the strongest person I know and I’m proud of her.
I feel like I won the lottery finding my late partner. Like she knew of an obscure artist from my hometown that no one would remember or know of. We had a lot of the same interests yet she had her own and I had mine. Very similar tastes in music, movies, etc but we both had our own unique interests. She was my equal. Smart, compassionate and a nerd.
Not sure what I’m trying to say but I feel like I won the lottery once( and very grateful for that) and that is it. I’m not going to win it twice.
I’m sure many of us are or have dealt with this but I hate that I don’t have anyone to just say “I miss her”. Or just reminisce about what a funny, kind person she was. Talk about how she loved learning new things. Why do so many of us have to go through this alone?
It’s been a month since she lost her battle to cancer. How does everyone keep it together in public places. I haven’t totally lost it yet but feel like I could curl up in the fetal position in the middle of the grocery store sometimes. Or sitting at a restaurant with my son (from another relationship) or at work and just a thought of her comes into my head and I can barely hold it together. Overall I think I’m hanging in there as best that can be expected but public places are a challenge for sure.
What has everyone done with your loved one’s clothes? She has so many clothes (and shoes). I’ll donate some, send some of her favorite sweaters to her mom, and keep a few items that I can’t let go of yet. She bought quite a bit of new clothes this past year in the hopes of getting to wear them but that didn’t happen. Still have the tags on them. Oh and fuck cancer!!!!!
I guess today was a win. Kept it together for the most part. Working retail sucks because all the customers ask “how are you today” and I just have to lie. Also as the day progressed all I wanted to do is text her to check in with her or thinking how I would have gotten a text from her asking how my day is going. Miss her texting me throughout the day informing me of the crazy things the pets were up to.