AITH: for calling out my friend for walking away?
me (15 f) my friend H (15 f) and our friend C (13 f). so for the past 3 ish years the three of us have gone camping over the summer (not every day straight but most weekends because we all have permanent spots at a campsite) last summer was when our friend C started being extremely rude to my friend H, i have known C since elementary school and she was rude a few times to me as well but i shut her down and didn’t let her continue to bully me.
however H is a soft hearted girl and hates confrontation and is not constantly good at standing up for herself. C in the past has said some pretty harsh things along the lines of “you’re nothing without makeup” and “is that fake tan you look so orange”. as well as often does things to get other peoples attention (i would call her a pick me). this past long weekend the three of us and some of our other friends were all out at the trailer this weekend.
C again started to try and embarrass H and be rude to her for seemingly no reason, and sometimes would just leave and go back to her trailer. quite a few times had H went to invite her to come back and hang out with us when we were walking around and each time i shut her down because i think its ridiculous to invite someone who makes you feel bad about yourself to come back and hang out with you. H said that she felt bad for excluding her and i told her that she wasn’t we just wasn’t giving her the opportunity to be rude to you again, this went on all weekend.
sunday night the three of us and the rest of our friends were hanging out by a river all just chilling listening to music when C got up and walked through the woods and never came back (there is a built path made out of wood planks to get to and from the spot we were at). later on me and one of our friends left for an unrelated reason and saw C by some picnic tables and went and asked her why she had left. she told us that she was upset that another one of our friends took her chips (that i paid for btw) and she was upset and left… a few minutes later H and another friend came out and sat down with us the two other friends left to get food and so H asked C why she left and i told her what C had told me, and then i added on afterwards “and that was a p\\\*ssy thing to do anyway, and i know you didn’t walk away because he took your chips which weren’t even yours you walked away just to walk away” a few minutes later she left.
looking back on it i’m unsure if that was the right thing to say to her especially since she js younger than us. but i also think it has been too long without anyone calling her out. i’m honestly just looking for some peace of mind that i wasn’t too harsh/ i did somewhat the right thing.
PS: sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes i have dyslexia and can’t find some mistakes of mine.
UPDATE
i have read and replied to the comments and to clarify
- she wasn’t always rude to us which is why we were friends in the first place
- we stayed being friends for this long because H and C’s parents are friends
- i did stick up for H but 95% of the times C was mean to her i wasn’t there
after reading, thinking and talking to H i did end up texting C this is what i ended up saying after asking H and another one of my friends
“hey i’ve been doing a lot of thinking on this for a very long time but i need to talk about it bc it’s just not okay anymore, for the past two years i have noticed how you have been treating me H and the other kids at the campsite and i just don’t think it’s okay. you are often rude especially to H and it disgusts me you are so disrespectful to her and me for no reason and i refuse to surround myself with people who do that. i am done being your friend and letting you surround me. you can continue to be friends with the other kids at the campsite but i am not your friend bc i am done with you being disrespectful it is not okay at all.”
she hasn’t responded yet but i will update when she does
before anyone says i was overly harsh on her i need you to understand that i haven’t mentioned everything she has ever done, i have seen it in front of me with my own eyes how she is a bully to H so has my mom her mom and the other kids we’re friends with. i needed her to fully understand how i felt without wiggle room to justify what she was doing. i will never be overly rude to her in person if she is there with us but i will not be interacting with her any longer and do not want to associate myself with her anymore
hopefully i can update soon!