u/newexporere

I'm a pansexual Indian guy who's finally starting to create music. Even though I'm pan, I want to make an original song specifically about the gay experience in India attraction to guys, confusion, coming out, family stuff, finding joy, etc.

I was thinking: If being gay was a music genre, what would it be?

For me, it feels like it should be happy and uplifting overall (pride, freedom, love), but it naturally falls into sad/emotional layers too (the struggles, hiding, heartbreak, societal pressure). So maybe a mix soft, melancholic verses that build into a bright, celebratory chorus?

I'm looking for your thoughts:

What genre or vibe do you think represents the gay Indian experience best? (Indie-pop, fusion with Indian classical, electronic dance, acoustic, bhangra, etc.)

Should queer songs lean more happy, sad, or bittersweet?

Any favourite Indian or desi queer songs that capture this well?

Title ideas (Hinglish welcome) or themes/moments I should include?

Open to lyric suggestions, feedback, or even collabs (melody, production, singing). I want to make something honest but ultimately hopeful.

Would love to hear the community's perspective! Let's create more desi queer music ✨

I am 22, pansexual with a strong sapiosexual lean (attracted to intelligence, depth, and meaningful conversations). I’m genuinely open to everyone I have dated guys, girls, trans people, and folks across the spectrum so far. I’m from a Tier-2 city, come from an upper middle-class family but was raised living a lower-middle-class lifestyle. This contrast has made finding real, lasting compatibility surprisingly difficult.

For me, it’s not about someone’s current financial class or background. What I truly value is personality, behaviour, mindset, financial discipline, ambition, and intelligence. I want a partner who’s emotionally mature, responsible with money, and shares the vision of eventually building an independent life together (separate from family). Deep conversations and aligned long-term goals matter a lot to me.

Even though I have dated across different genders and class backgrounds, the relationships usually fall apart when mindsets, goals, habits, or intellectual compatibility don’t align. With upper middle or wealthier people, the current lifestyle gap becomes difficult because I can’t keep up yet.

I am already pushing hard at my age doing Masters preparation, internship, freelancing, music production, preparing for NET/JRF and other govt exams, writing a book, and handling multiple things at once. I am independent and not fully dependent on my parents, but I do take some help from them (otherwise I’d literally starve). Whatever I earn gets spent on survival and growth, so nothing much is left right now. I am genuinely building my future, but the present financial reality creates challenges in dating.

also had one middle-class connection that seemed promising initially but wasn’t serious and avoided talking about a real relationship.

On t of this, I still look and present like a lower-middle-class person, which creates mismatched expectations from the very first impression on dating apps.

I am looking for something serious and stable a genuine long-term partnership (marriage or life-partner level). The pan/queer dating pool is already tiny in Tier-2 cities, so I mostly depend on apps like Bumble, Tinder, Hinge, Her, etc. I ask early about values, future plans, and mindset because compatibility is crucial, but I am concerned it sometimes comes across as too direct or transactional.

Sorry in advance if anything I said comes across as offensive or hurtful I’m just honestly trying to express the challenges I’ve faced and what I’m looking for in a partner.

I know I am only 22, but I feel this is the right time for me to seek a real connection. If I wait and become completely focused on my career and goals, I might never prioritize dating later.

Has anyone else experienced these challenges class presentation vs reality, strong need for financial discipline + independence, and sapiosexual compatibility while dating in India, especially in smaller cities?

How do you effectively screen for genuine long-term interest, shared mindset, and intellectual connection without sounding materialistic?

Tips for improving presentation and confidence without faking wealth?

Success stories of pan/queer relationships where mindset and intelligence matched even across different class or background differences?

Advice on finding people on a similar growth trajectory and independent thinking?

I am really tired of these repeated mismatches and just want something real and stable with the right person. Any experiences, advice, or honest feedback would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!