Idk what I did wrong, but I lost my closest friends after having a baby.
I had a baby last year, and since then I’ve lost several friendships that I truly thought would last forever. One of my closest friends slowly stopped reaching out after my daughter was born, and eventually unfollowed me on social media. Around the same time, another friendship seemed to end after I couldn’t attend a wedding celebration because it was adults-only and I wasn’t able to find childcare. A few other mutual friends also drifted away or stopped communicating with me.
When my daughter turned one, I decided to keep her birthday small and only invited the people I considered my closest friends. None of the friends who had drifted away reached out to wish her a happy birthday, and not long afterward several of them unfollowed me on social media. That was the moment I realized those friendships were probably over.
What hurts the most is watching them continue to show up for and support each other through big life events—weddings, celebrations, hard times—in ways I never felt they showed up for me. I was always there for them when they needed someone, but when I was struggling through postpartum and becoming a first-time mom, I felt overlooked and alone.
I’ve spent so much time wondering if I did something wrong or if becoming a mom changed me in a way people don’t like. The postpartum period was already lonely, and losing people I loved made it so much harder.
I’m doing better now, but I still find myself wondering if anyone else has experienced friendships changing after becoming a parent. Did you ever stop blaming yourself? Did you find new friendships that fit this season of life? Was this a blessing in disguise?