My boyfriend and I aren't intimate anymore
Okay so I (23F) and my boyfriend (23M) have been together for 6 years. We don't live together since we were both in college but we're planning to move together next month. We see eachother only on weekends at his mom's house, we still have a lot of privacy there tho.
We used to have sex a lot (it calmed down a bit as the relationship went on but we were still doing it regularly) however now we barely do it once a month.
I have a pretty high sex drive and this has taken a toll on my confidence and self love, I'm not even initiating anymore because it makes me feel extremly embarassed to be rejected so much. I've talked to him about it multiple times (which is hard because I don't want to make him feel guilty, embarassed or even worse pressured) yet he said he doesn't know why he's like this, I've asked him multiple times if it was something I did or the way I looked but he keeps saying it's not my fault.
I've gained a bit of weight during my relationship (I suffered from anorexia when we first met) and I keep wondering if maybe that's the reason ? He tells me it's not and that I look more attractive like this but i can't shake the idea off. I take care of myself, wear cute clothes and sleepwear around him, we go out, I'm always organizing stuff to do together and our relationship is perfect apart from this aspect.
Before we had moments where we stopped having sex because he was under stress and wasn't feeling well but currently he's saying he feels great not stressed or sad and it's been going on for a while.
I've always struggled with self love and it had gotten better before all of this, i keep thinking it's because i'm not good enough but i'm always receiving attention from other guys. Sometimes it feels like i'm attractive to everyone except him.
I feel like he sees me as beautiful but not as sexy which is probably a curse since it was always the other way around in my past relationships. He doesn't even initiate that much other types of physical intimacy aside from kisses on the forehead or holding hands (which is cute but come on).
We had two incidents which made me feel really bad, one time i opened his laptop and found porn when it had been more than a month since we had done anything together (i broke down crying which was really embarrassing) and not too long ago, after a month without doing anything he initiated but stopped while we were making out because he was not feeling it anymore. Which of course is more than okay, anyone can revoke their consent whenever and i would never blame him for it but considering everything it made me so sad and self concious that even in this situation i couldn't keep his interest. At this point it feels like we're only having sex when he needs to shoot his load somewhere and i have to constantly ignore my own desires.
I don't want to talk to him about it AGAIN because i feel like it will put pressure on him and make the situation even worse but i feel so bad about it and it's very hard to hide since we tell eachother everything and i'm big on communication. I read stories similar to mine on reddit and it made me feel even worse because the answer were either that he was cheating or that we should break up. I don't want to break up with him, he's the love of my life and as i said before our relationship is perfect apart from that, and i trust him too much to suspect him of cheating. However i can't stay in this situation, we're still young and i can't even imagine how it will be when we're older, my worst nightmare is to be that couple who only has sex once a year on valentine's day.
I'm taking all of your advice at this point i don't know what to do anymore, I don't even have any friends to talk to about this since they all know him and that would be the worst invasion of privacy ever.
**TL;DR; : Boyfriend of seven years isn't intimate anymore, what could be the issue ?**.