I hate going on vacation with my husband
My husband, two kids (4 and 7), and I go on a short weekend vacation to a beach about an hour from our house. On the first morning, my husband sleeps in while I get the kids dressed and take them to breakfast. He shows up halfway through, eats, and leaves. I bus the table, get the leftovers, and take the kids up to the room.
We go into town and walk around (what my husband wants to do) and then the kids want to go to the beach, but husband does not want to go and complains the whole way there (it’s hot, there is a parking fee, we have to walk a long way, etc) so when we get there he sits in the covered facility area playing on his phone while I play with the two kids in the ocean. It was hot and exhausting but the kids love it and it made the trip worth it to watch them have so much fun.
We go back to the hotel and my son wants to keep swimming at the pool so husband offers to hang out in the room with our daughter while I take my son swimming. Even though I am tired, I go swimming with my son. Afterward I do take a 45 min break for myself, but when I get back to the room, I give both kids baths because my husband didn’t know whether soap was needed or if they could just be rinsed with water.
The next day husband wakes up early and is going crazy about leaving early (even though we have no real reason to leave early) but the kids are tired and are still sleeping. Eventually he goes down to breakfast with my son, and I pack everything up. When she wakes, I take my daughter to breakfast and we have a wonderful time but my husband is beside himself when we get to the room because we took too long. He yells at all of us until we finally get in the car.
On the way home, my daughter’s friend wants to meet up at a splash pad but we have a person coming by to fix something at the house so my husband says he should stay at home, and I should take them to the splash pad. When we get home from the splash pad, I ask how it went and it turns out the person came by but my husband didn’t answer the door so the person left and now I have to wait for him later this week. Then I cook dinner.
I don’t know why being a mom means I have to be the one that takes care of everything. My husband is not a stupid person but the level of feigned incompetence is mind boggling. I enjoyed the time with my kids, but my husband really strips a lot of the fun out of vacations. I don’t even know what I want out of this post, I am just dying inside a little every time.
Update: Thank you to everyone that commented. I was upset when I originally posted this and I needed to vent but reading the comments really got me thinking. Although what I wrote made me sound quiet and meek, I am not. I have tried to fix this for years, I have yelled, screamed, had calm discussions where I tell my husband how I am feeling and what I want, gotten pissed off and ignored him, stopped doing chores around the house to make a point, wrote down all the chores and discussed trying to split them more evenly, suggested counseling, and whatever else I could think of. Sometimes he starts doing more and he has improved slightly, but more than the chores what I realized is that he is just rude to me. He walks 20 feet ahead of me and the kids because we are slow. He never waits for me or the kids (or carries the bags of snacks and other stuff) when we are going somewhere and he just goes and waits in the car. When something goes wrong he yells and criticizes me instead of handling his emotions in a better way. And it is those things that are truly getting to me.
Thanks for the suggestions to talk to an attorney. I am an attorney that used to work in family law so I know my options.
And lastly for everyone that wonders why I have stayed. I think it is because I spent years building my life and at first I was happy. It is hard to throw that all away. Also I am dealing with aging parents with medical issues and we just moved to a new city where I don’t know that many people. I realized today that I need to make a plan.