When does exploring become too much?
I’m mid 30s F and completely new to dating apps *first time. In just under 2 mths, I’ve been on 34 actual dates, with another 12 scheduled later this mth, and now I’m starting to feel overwhelmed and exhausted.
Before this, I hadn’t dated anyone in 12 yrs. I was only ever with one man; my late hub. I’ve been single for more than 3 yrs and hadn’t been intimate with anyone for over 6 yrs. (Yeap sexless marriage)
Out of the 34 men I have met, I slept with 2. And if I am honest.... I loved it. I am so glad I did it! I didnt regret it bcuz I felt like a queen. The chemistry, attention and adrenaline made me feel alive again! But it also awakens smth else in me.
All the dates themselves have actually been lovely. And i hope they do the same to all the women they meet out there as well. Most of the men hv been generous, kind and respectful. I enjoy meeting them, hearing about their lives, and yes, it feels amazing to feel wanted and having similar interests.
But here’s my prob. Once I sense that someone wants something more serious from me, I subsconciously tend to pull back. As soon as i get hints of commitment, family, or building smth deeper- it still scares me.
My closest friends are now telling me to slow down because this is so unlike me (they knew how mucb dutiful, traditional and loyal wife i used to be), and they’re worried I’m enjoying the physical side more than actually connecting emotionally. Now my colleagues and friends are starting to regret encouraging me to go on dates.
I do believe I could love someone again if I met the right person. I just don’t know whether I’m genuinely ready or simply enjoying this newfound freedom a little too much.
So… 34 dates in 2 mths. Is this a normal exploration phase or a sign I should take a break? Oh god, bless my soul.