I’m too old and too well medicated to mask to make other people happy.
Buddies, at work I was filing docs in a binder (real paper even) during a meeting and one of the participants was like “um, excuse me can you pay attention?” So, I kindly explained that my version of ADHD means that often a low attention distraction helps me focus and that I was paying attention. The participant expressed their disbelief and said it didn’t look like I was paying attention. I told them I didn’t care and kept filing and was fully engaged in the meeting.
Later, we talked about it and they said they don’t care if I have ADHD, everyone is a snow flake these days and it’s not an excuse for my behaviour. They said it was basically the same as being an asshole and using it as an excuse for poor behaviour. I reminded them that our local laws accept ADHD as a disability, but being an asshole is not. They reiterated that the optics were not great and I pointed out that this was a bias they might want to work on. They went back to the asshole analogy.
So, I guess the solution is to bring a fidget or don’t pay attention? I’m feeling pretty bummed at the out right discrimination. I was on fire today and way more productive than usual. Now I just feel like I need a nap 😴
Edit to add: a lot of comments seem to focus on the idea that I didn’t prove I was focused on the meeting. I was fully engaged in the meeting. I discussed, debated, and described actions taken as well or better than anyone else at the table. When I discussed the situation with my colleague after, they agreed that I was fully involved in the meeting. Their only issue was optics. They felt based on social conditioning and biases that what I had done demonstrated I wasn’t paying attention. I was. The meeting was directly related to my work scope and I was the SME at the table. I did not need my entire brain to be there.