Im 4 days postpartum of a 41 week stillbirth. One thing I wasn't prepared for was that my older child's crying would trigger milk leaking. It also triggers such a deep sadness inside of me. The milk should be for his baby brother, not just staining my shirts. I wish it would dry up already.
If I hadn't been so stubborn and so mentally set on wanting the VBAC I would have my baby alive next to me right now. I went to 41+3 and my baby's heart stopped suddenly. I ended up with the C-section regardless except now I went through all that pain for nothing. Today is my 3rd day of recovery, I'm home and my husband and I took all the baby things we had prepared and put them in storage boxes. I'm telling you now that the pain of holding your beautiful tiny lifeless baby that you waited so long for and then going home empty handed and having to take down the nursery is worse than 20 C-sections back to back. I would give absolutely anything to have my son back. Please do not be like me and be so set on the VBAC that you forget the risks of going overdue, please listen to your doctors when I didn't. Now I live with a giant hole in my heart.
Hi everyone it's my first time posting here and I need some advice! I'm 28yo and soon to be STM, had my first son 09/2021 via C-section due to "failure to progress" aka I was naive and let them pump me with pitocin, break my waters way too soon, and do all the interventions on me which of course led to baby getting stressed out and pooping inside so they rushed me to a C-section which was insanely traumatizing and took me years to recover from mentally even with the help of antidepressants. But with my first I did go into labor naturally and had a very low risk boring pregnancy and actually had pretty easy contractions getting me to 4cm at home before we went in.
So that's the story of my first, now I'm due any day with my second and my current Dr has been very supportive of me wanting a VBAC. She checked all my previous notes about my low transverse incision, plus having 4+ years in between pregnancies, having zero health issues and a very low risk boring pregnancy again said I'm a good candidate for the VBAC. However my due date was set as 5/5 and I guess their office automatically scheduled me for a C-section on 5/4 which I did not go to bc I wanted to give myself more time to go into labor naturally so my Dr said we can wait until 5/8 which was yesterday and again I did not go to that one either. I know it sounds bad to cancel 2 C-sections but I'm at the point where I fully believe that they got my due date incorrect due to me having irregular cycles thanks to pcos. With my first I knew the exact date of conception bc I was tracking and he was born 39+4 (labor started 39+3). With this one I wasn't tracking my cycle well and I didn't write down which day we had intercourse either however we only did it once mid August (yes only had sex one time that month) which could put my actual due date mid May. Another reason I believe they got my date wrong is that now at supposedly 40w I'm having all the signs of labor starting soon that I had at 39w with my first - baby dropping this week, feeling a ton more pressure, loosing pieces of mucus plug, soft stools every day. I went in yesterday for an NST and ultrasound at the hospital and they said that baby looks fantastic (perfect heart tones, head down, practicing breathing, moving a ton, good amount of water, placenta looking good) and I'm also good (125/85 pressure, zero issues) but the Dr at the hospital told me I should just do the C-section anyways to which I told her that's not what I'm planning for and I see no reason to take baby out who isn't ready yet. I have another appointment tomorrow with my regular Dr and I'm already betting she's gonna start pushing for the C-section too and might not listen to what I have to say about the incorrect due date. I just hate the idea of them trying to forcibly take the baby out when he clearly isn't ready yet and my body is doing all the things to get ready for labor any day now. I went into labor naturally the first time, I know it will happen this time too. I feel like I'm supposed to be relaxing and enjoying the end of my pregnancy now but bc of all these things I'm getting so stressed out and panicking which isn't helping either. Anyways, thoughts? opinions?