Why do I feel no joy for other trans people?
It's upsetting that I'm starting to feel aversion towards trans women and transfems. I don't want to be that kind of person. Yet I still find myself thinking "oh, of course you're/she's transfem 🙄" in certain moments.
I don't want to think these things, and I don't know if it's just the dysphoria talking or if I'm genuinely misogynistic towards trans women and transfems. Either way, it sucks.
...
It might be a mix of projecting my dysphoria on others (it genuinely stings so much that other people can be happy about having breasts or being feminine, while I'm suffering because I can't even get top surgery paying out of my own pocket since my country has a very strict BMI requirement for mastectomy. and i am about 10-15 points too high, so i gotta lose weight (which is so easy when you have PMOS/PCOS /s)) and feeling punished for wanting to be more masculine (the growing trend of anti masculinity within the queer community is proof of that).
I just don't know what to do to make these feelings go away.