u/omgtimmyftw

The past few days the water has gotten worse. Any tips to fix this/drain the water? Also looking for any recommendations to prevent this from happening again.

To provide some context, my girlfriend (25F) and I (33M) have been dating for 5.5 years. We connected during covid and recently purchased a home together. When we have good days, we are very happy, but when it comes to bad days, there are nit picky arguments, expectations,, etc. Since we had purchased the house, we have had more arguments regarding house chores and cleanliness.

I come from a traditional family that had emotionally/physically scolded me if things are not in place, but I can understand this is a trauma passed down from my grandparents. For her, she comes from a household that prioritizes freedom to do what you wish. I believe this is where the lifestyle differences have bled into our home and has caused outburst in argument (on my part), expecting the same routine as I have lived similar to my family.

She has always been kind with me, trying her best to understand where I come from. But as of recent, we had a huge argument that left her feeling indifferent about me. She feels unsafe living in our home/doesn't feel like this is her home and wants her "young years" back by living on her own. She wants to pursue more in the city (about 2 hour commute) and tells me she doesn't want to regret her life in the future. She has also voiced that the commute everyday to work is exhausting and living closer to work would be beneficial.

Despite all this, she tells me she still loves and cares for me and will try to make it work. She had voiced that she doesn't want to let go either. Since our last argument/breakdown, I have finally come to a realization of my own behavior and actively trying to fix it by being more kind, caring, and open to her household lifestyle within our home. We have mentioned relationship counseling and individual therapy to help. She can see I am trying but feels I am only doing so out of fear of separation/desperation and it doesn't feel right to her (this is where I am stuck and don't know what to do). She had mentioned giving it a year in our home to see how things work, to living on our own but seeing each other as if we started over, but ultimately we're trying to make it work with our current situation. It's one of those, "I love you, but it's hard to live with you" situations.