u/omnomnomhi

Hello! I recently got hired as a server at a local Italian restaurant, but I ended up resigning after only two training shifts. I wanted to share my experience and see if I was being unreasonable or if this was genuinely a poorly managed workplace.

For some background, I have previous serving experience and several years of customer service experience, so I’m not completely new to the restaurant industry.

I had one in-person interview at another restaurant under the same ownership, which was understandable. However, once I was scheduled for training, I quickly realized that nobody really seemed to know I was coming or who was supposed to train me. There also wasn’t an actual front-of-house manager physically present at the restaurant.

My first day was honestly fine. The girl who trained me was nice, and I was able to get the gist of things pretty quickly because of my previous experience.

She let me leave after completing a white wine tasting, which ended around 7:45 PM, even though my scheduled shift ended at 7:30 PM. I didn’t have a problem with that initially. To be fair, I understand that restaurant shifts don’t always end exactly on time, especially as a server. However, in my previous restaurant jobs, trainees were almost always let go on time unless something rlly happens bad or busy enough to hold them… which rarely happens and even so they are asked if they are ok with staying longer beforehand. Still, it was only 15 minutes, my trainer was nice, and I didn’t think much of it.

And the second training shift came the next day.
This is where things started going downhill.

I was assigned a different trainer, who apparently didn’t even know she was supposed to train me that day, again.

Right from our first interaction, she openly mentioned how much she hated training people. Unfortunately, that attitude seemed to continue throughout the shift.
She wasn’t particularly welcoming and spent a lot of time chatting with her coworkers, which made me feel pretty left out. I don’t expect anyone to make personal conversation with me, but I do expect some level of professionalism from someone assigned to train a new employee.

What bothered me was the double standard.
There were times when I was standing around waiting for instructions and talking briefly with another trainee. She would suddenly change her tone and sound frustrated with me, yet she seemed perfectly comfortable chatting with coworkers, being on her phone, and even taking Snapchat selfies.

At one point, I noticed the host bussing her tables while she was on her phone, even though bussing tables was part of the servers’ responsibilities.

Whenever I asked her to repeat something or didn’t immediately understand an instruction, she would respond with this condescending attitude, almost as if she thought I was stupid.
Mind you, this was literally my second day.

She also had me interact with customers, check on tables, and handle parts of the service while she spent time chatting in the back.
I actually wanted hands-on experience, so that wasn’t the issue. The problem was that she often wasn’t supervising me.

This is an Italian restaurant with an extensive menu, cocktails, wines, and different modifications that I obviously hadn’t memorized yet. I had to specifically ask her to supervise me during customer interactions because I didn’t want to give customers incorrect information.

Another thing worth mentioning is that nobody had explained my training pay to me. I only discovered through the Toast app that I was being paid $7.25 an hour with no tips during training. I understand that training wages and tip arrangements can differ, but I would’ve appreciated knowing this before starting.

Toward the end of my second shift, my trainer told me to complete side work. I checked the time and told her I only had about seven minutes left before my scheduled shift ended. I also still had to complete the red wine tasting. I was confused because the training expectations seemed inconsistent.

On my first day, I hadn’t been required to complete any side work, and my first trainer had simply let me leave after the wine tasting because it was already past my scheduled time.

I had also noticed that some other trainees weren’t required to complete everything.
So I politely asked whether I could complete the red wine tasting on another training day.
She immediately said no.

I explained that nobody had informed me I would be expected to stay beyond my scheduled training hours, and that my first day had been handled differently. I wasn’t trying to refuse training. I was genuinely confused about what was required and why nobody had explained the process beforehand.

Instead of clarifying things, she said, “Okay, wait,” went to the back, and started complaining about the situation to another coworker.
When she returned, she told me that if I didn’t want to stay and learn, I could leave, but she would report it to management. That honestly caught me off guard.
I wasn’t refusing to learn or trying to challenge her authority. I was simply asking about inconsistent expectations and poor communication. I explained that I wasn’t attacking her personally and that I was feeling overwhelmed because nobody had clearly explained how my training was supposed to work.

There had been several periods throughout the shift when we barely had any tables, and I was standing around waiting for instructions. I felt like those would’ve been good opportunities to demonstrate side work instead of leaving everything until the very end of my scheduled shift.

She had also mentioned earlier that her previous experience training someone had gone badly and that she had been blamed for it. I got the impression that she didn’t really want the responsibility of training another person, which I can understand, but I didn’t think that frustration should be directed at me.

After our disagreement, her attitude suddenly changed.
She started speaking in a much sweeter tone and repeatedly said things like, “If you really don’t want to stay for the wine tasting, I won’t report you to management. You can leave. I feel bad.”
Which honestly confused me even more.
A few minutes earlier, she had insisted it was required and threatened to report me if I didn’t stay. Now she was saying I could leave without any consequences?
It just felt inconsistent and unnecessarily confrontational. I ended up staying and completing the wine tasting anyway. Again, $7.25 an hour 😭

As I was leaving, she apologized for me having a bad day. I simply replied that I hadn’t had a bad day and said goodbye.

Something else that made this experience frustrating was the lack of actual management.
Apparently, the official FOH manager who hired me through email lives in another state, and I was told they were on vacation.

There wasn’t a designated FOH manager or supervisor physically present to oversee training, answer questions, or handle concerns during my shifts. From what I observed, it seemed like the longest-tenured employees had taken on unofficial authority over the floor.

My second trainer even mentioned that she was assigned to train people because she had worked there the longest. She frequently compared her methods to those of other trainers and implied that anything done differently from her approach was incorrect. It didn’t feel like a collaborative team environment. It felt more like everyone had their own rules, and whenever something went wrong, someone else was blamed.

I came home feeling completely exhausted, not necessarily because of the physical work, but because of how uncomfortable and disorganized the whole experience felt.

The next morning, I sent a resignation email to both the manager and the owner, explaining my experience and why I had decided to resign effective immediately. I contacted both because the manager was reportedly on vacation, and I was scheduled to work the following day. I wanted to make sure they received my resignation rather than simply not showing up.

I understand that restaurant work can be stressful, training isn’t always perfectly organized, and experienced servers may not necessarily enjoy training new hires. I’m also not expecting special treatment as a trainee. I’m willing to learn, take constructive criticism, complete side work, and help wherever needed. But I do think new employees deserve clearler expectations and supervision.

Was I being unreasonable or does this scream poor management and I’ve dodged the bullet?

I’m genuinely open to hearing different perspectives because I know I might have handled certain parts of the situation differently.