My husband has full custody of his five year old son. We have lived together since SS’s 2nd birthday. He got full custody 6 months later. I do all the mom things. It’s great, I love him to pieces. I love kids and I have ALWAYS wanted to be a mom. He is and always will be my first baby.
SS has been diagnosed with a behavior disorder. He is aggressive, violent, and impatient mostly during any kind of transition and also being told no. Outside of this, he is kind and sweet and sooooo funny.
I’ve learned how to approach him, I’ve created rules and boundaries that (semi) work for him and his behavior. I am the #1 school communicator, therapist communicator, etc. I take him to appointments, bathe & dress him everyday, put him to bed every night, etc. I even supervise visits with his bio mom (that’s another story). I also work 45+ hours a week, and I’m in school 15-20hrs a week to get my degree.
I am so tired.
This past week I had SS home for school break. I took weekdays off so I could be home with him. I could not find myself to do literally anything outside of routine with him.
We went outside to play on his first day off, and upon immediately not listening and becoming unsafe, we had to come inside. He punched me, kicked me, headbutted, pulled my hair and bit my wrist the entire five minute walk back inside.
I’m 5’2, 110lbs. He’s almost 4’ and 60lbs. I physically cannot restrain him safely and handle his physical aggression out in public. We spent the rest of the week indoors. I felt so depleted, hopeless and depressed. I was SO EXCITED to go back to work. My husband is semi helpful, but we mostly don’t coparent because we work opposite schedules to accommodate SS. I feel like I’m the only person who can correctly discipline and alleviate SS aggression. I am SO BURNT OUT. I feel so guilty. I feel resentful, and I wish I didn’t.