how do i push past the “wanting to give up” phase after unfavourable circumstances in my 3d reality?
this is my first post ever on reddit so, i am going to keep this brief, but also share any important info!
i have been consciously manifesting my sp for months now. i would also say consciously very loosely as i now realize the ways i was still holding space for the “old story.”
sp and i have been in a relationship, but have broken up due to my poor self concept and my negative assumptions about relationships in general. which resulted in no contact for a year now. none of that matters because circumstances do not matter.
i’ve robotically affirmed, visualized, and declared sp as mine. which is fine, however, i was not persistent in living in the end. after a few days of being consistent, living in the end, i would get bored because i craved proof that it was working. that boredom soon turned into forgetting about being consistent so, i would check the 3d.
whether it was checking his social medias, looking for signs, and overall just notice the lack of movement. i didn’t realize i was checking the 3d because i would say “oh well, as long as im saying my affirmations, it wouldn’t hurt just to check.”
and well, YES it did hurt my progress. although i was saying my affirmations and watching my thoughts, i would seek out proof of the old story and my old assumptions.
lo and behold, that resulted in unfavourable circumstances manifesting. the opposite of what i wanted materializing in my 3d reality.
sp has a 3p…oh no the horror.
i didn’t accidentally manifest that, i manifested that because i wasn’t holding myself and thoughts accountable. “i wonder if sp moved on?” so i would check. “i wonder if he still follows my social medias?” nope, he would unfollow a few days later. “i am going to check his insta for fun…no other reasons ofc.” he has 3p as his profile picture.
even if those weren’t my dominant thoughts, i still gave in and checked the 3d because i still held some of those prior assumptions about myself and the relationship.
so that brings me to my question.
i am in this weird limbo of wanting to push past this as i want sp to worship the ground i walked on once before to wanting to give up manifesting my sp entirely.
it’s weird, this almost completely shattered the vision and dream i built of our relationship. i often ask myself “do i even want sp?” i know i do, but not at the cost of burning myself out.
how would you push past the “wanting to give up” phase after the opposite shows up in the 3d?
any advice would be greatly appreciated.