Does anyone else have a similar bi realization?
For many years although I was sometimes interested in men my brain used to make a convincing to me argument about how it didn't mean I was bisexual (he [botw link] basically looks like a women anyway, he just has nice looking thighs which look exactly the same as a womens).
It seems like a lot of peoples stories are primarily about getting peace with something that at first is difficult to accept, and these arguments their brain made are essentially to avoid what at the time was a difficult to accept truth, but for me that wasn't the case. Most of my classmates already had clocked me before I knew myself and I would often joke about being bi so I essentially was already out of the closet to everyone but myself and I had no shame about it.
The thing that kept me up at night was how thoroughly I'd convinced myself with what now seem like hilariously bad arguments, even despite asking myself the question and believing I logically came to the conclusion that I definately was straight. A key part of my identity was (and still is) being a skeptic/atheist/freethinker and fully believing in arguments that now seem as preposterous as those given by flat earthers was definitely a hit to that aspect of my identity.
I remember I didn't even tell people I was bi because I couldn't give them the satisfaction of 'winning the argument' which sounds kinda stupid now lol. I just stopped correcting them that I was straight.
Anyway I post this now because I still can't fully shake off how I used to believe in these arguments; it doesn't even make sense to me, as theres seemingly no motive to lie to myself. Goes to show how much societal indoctrination can twist a persons view of things without them realizing.
Once I re-examined events in my life through the lens of being bi, turns out I had gay crushes all the way back to my tween era lol.