My [35F] wife and I [36M] have hit an awkward stage because we can’t move past a situation that happened when we last had sex.
The other week my wife dressed up in lingerie and surprised me when I got home from work. I hit the door and she said wash your dick and come get me, which I did.
When we started I was excited and was being aggressive and she asked me to slow down and I was doing too much. I slowed down and was kissing all over her and she asked me to stop because she had just showered and said use her vibrator and finger her at the same time (she doesn’t do oral). Unfortunately, the vibrator died so we then spent 5-10 minutes trying to find the charger and another vibrator, also dead. After this happened we got back on the bed and when I went to start kissing her while moving my hand down her thigh she moved her face to the side and covered her vgina with her hands said “I don’t want all this anymore, just get it done with your dick” but I had lost my erection. She grabbed my dick and said “why’s it so soft what did you do?” And I said “the vibe kinda went dead” and she said well what do I need to do and I asked her to kiss my neck while rubbing it and she said she didn’t want to because it awkward with how soft it was. I got up and just said Im not sure what else to do at this point because her just pumping it like she wasn’t doing anything for me.
Long story short it ended there and afterwards she asked to talk about it. I explained I felt like everything she said was a complaint or something she wasn’t going to do since she was clearly frustrated but I don’t want her to feel like I’m blaming her just it was unfortunate the vibrator was dead and from there the whole vibe went dead. She said that was my perspective and I should’ve just fucked her at the start when I was hard rather than trying to do any extra stuff and then I said “you told me to slow down and that you could feel my dick pulsating and it was weird”. She shut down after that and kept saying thats just your perspective so you’d feel better because you couldn’t get your dick hard.
Since this happened we haven’t really spoke much and haven’t had sex again. Not really sure how to move forward. I feel like she got frustrated and just completely pushed me away during that time and it turned me off and she stated Im not doing XYZ that would turn me on. The pressure of just laying there awkwardly trying to get hard also didn’t help.
Any advice on how to approach this differently?