What is it like having a dad who actually cares?
Hi, I’m a 26F who is really having a hard time right now, with literally everything.
For context, I am currently as No Contact as I can be with my dad (I have to deal with him minimally because I still talk to my mom).
I recently moved to FL. Like, three weeks ago. I made this decision months ago, and have been working hard to make it happen because I wanted change in my life. I wasn’t happy and was stagnant. When I told my dad that I decided to move states, he absolutely blew up. He said some of the cruelest things to me, and called me stupid, incompetent, and a plethora of other very mean things, and even bad mouthed the two friends I have. This whole situation sent me into a two-week existential crisis, where I literally questioned my entire existence. I came out of that crisis and felt like I was doing the right thing for me, so I went through with the move.
I’m now three weeks in. I officially stopped communicating directly with him about a week and a half ago (before Father’s Day), because I would call home and just update them on things, and he continued to speak to me like shit and call me names.
Here’s the main thing: he is a financial abuser (context: he has my mom mostly trapped). He literally treats money like it’s the only thing that makes anyone worthwhile. Don’t have money? You’re not a competent person to him. He has always taught me money, and would always make me feel like I’m not good enough if I don’t have any. This has been since elementary school.
I don’t really know what I’m asking for with this post. My dad has never really been nice to me, or emotionally available. He’s struggled with alcohol for a VERY long time, getting worse gradually. He refuses to seek help for mental health (depression).
What’s it like to have a dad that actually gives a shit? Who doesn’t verbally and emotionally throw you to the ground?
Thank you for your time. I’m trying so hard, and I feel like I’m getting nowhere. I’m happy to elaborate on things if needed for clarification or context.