u/p1xelpupz

i made a post on here sometime ago explaining my son (4) just does not sleep, which means i don’t sleep and i’m currently around 11 weeks pregnant. i’m trying to stay as stress free as possible since my pregnancy is high risk, but i don’t think it’s possible.

my son has developed a screaming/ kicking and hitting habitat since April so around 4-5 months everyone in my house has been getting broken sleep. i honestly might be losing my mind. he goes to bed at 8pm and takes melatonin, he wakes up at 12am-2am and takes more melatonin and then he wakes up at 4am. he then tries to go back to sleep at 6am and it is literal hell trying to keep him awake to change his patterns.

i’ve talked to the doctor about this and they suggest just upping his melatonin. it was 1, then 2, then 3.5, and now 5. throughout the night he takes 10ml of melatonin and its starting to not work anymore. the doctors suggested eeg, sleep study, and development mental doctors, but the problem is those appointments are next year. i need something to change now.

my boyfriend works 12 hour days, my brother has school at 7am and none of us are getting any sleep because he is so loud. when we go to appointments nurses go out of their way to tell us how loud he is. whatever we do, wherever we go he is screaming at the top of his lungs. it’s to the point i refuse to sit in a car with him until we figure something out because he’s giving me headaches and raising my blood pressure in a tiny space.

i think i’ve just come to realize i just can’t do this. we can’t live like this anymore. it’s only been 4 months, but it feels like torture. i’m becoming to resent him and i’m just mad at him all the time. please understand. i’m stuck in a house with him and he screams/kicks and hits all effing day.

they stopped therapy because of it, my nurse has quit because “he was too much to handle”, family stopped coming over, i lost all my friends, no one will watch him for me anymore, we live in a little house not much space

i might be losing my mind and the worst part is he’s asleep right now, but i know he’ll be awake in 3 hours and keep us awake.

hii just as the title says.. i’m in desperate need for some friends. someone who kinda vibes with me, if you’re funny def hmu. i’m not the best at responding quickly but i’m working on it.. if i don’t respond im either sleeping or doing homework.

if you play games maybe we could play sometime, i dont currently have a mic, but if you’re cool i’ll grab one :) im mainly playing cod right now.. anyone else excited for the movie? oh and bonus points if you do cod cosplay

anyways i live in the US, so i would prefer if you were around that timezone. :)

i thought at first i needed advice or some sort of direction, but i think im really just here to rant. i (23f) and my boyfriend (23m) have a son who is turning 4 in a few days. he had a stroke in the womb which his diagnosis’s are microcephaly, cerebral palsy and cortical blindness. he’s severely delayed approximately around 6 months old and he requires help with everything. he doesn’t walk, talk, eat, or crawl. he does have a g button and an at- home nurse.

anyways my boyfriend and i have found ourselves talking every night about our life and what our life will look like. it gives us a sense of entrapment i guess. don’t get me wrong.. i love my son, but it’s hard.. i know you all understand the doctors appointments, phone calls, sudden hospital stays, insurance, therapies.. and many more..

he screams every night and never sleeps, he screams all day to the point where his nurse is at a loss of what to do.. we’ve tried medications, but the screaming never stops. he hits himself constantly and kicks the crib, the floor, and anything to make some sort of loud noise. we just want peace to be honest. we want quiet. we want a break, but that’s not realistic.. is it?.. we don’t have family to just watch him considering he’s too medically complex, but we’re exhausted.

i can’t help but daydream about what my life would look like instead, or how me and my boyfriends relationship would look like. it’s taken a toll on us physically and mentally. who would i be? where would i be? would i be happier?.. i know it makes me sound horrible, but idk..

im very very tired and burnt out. we both are. i’ve tried the “take a bath”, “leave the house for a few hours”, talk to a therapist”, but when i get home i get immediately stressed, overwhelmed, a sudden sense of dread. i dont take care of myself anymore. i dont have time…

anyways thanks for providing a platform where i can just rant as i hide in my bathroom. you are all doing great and if you feel alone remember there’s parents out there (like myself) who completely understand and we are here for you.