Recent loss vent
Hi all. I was thinking how when I started TTC I began by joining a subreddit about pregnancy test lines. Then I joined a pregnancy one. Then a miscarriage one. And now here I am in a recurrent loss group.
I’m 32 and my partner is 40. We’ve had 3 losses. A 5.5 week in December. A chemical in January. And a 13 week MMC in late April (baby stopped growing at 10 weeks). This last pregnancy had every positive sign (strong test lines, strong heart beat, growing each week). I tried to conceive back to back and was successful each time. Getting pregnant doesn’t seem to be an issue. I feel like I’ve fallen into a rabbit hole researching every possible cause, and honestly I’m terrified of what testing might find. My GP has unfortunately been off this month so I haven’t been able to ask questions to a close professional or get a referral.
I keep spiraling about things like karyotyping, egg and sperm quality, clotting issues, progesterone issues, autoimmune problems, uterine abnormalities, and whether I’ll be able to carry to term. Other than these recurrent losses, we are both generally healthy individuals with healthy lifestyles.
I think what scares me most is that every test feels like it could reveal something devastating or permanent. My brain keeps jumping to worst-case scenarios like my partner and I are incompatible or our only option will be IVF which we cannot afford.
At the same time, I know recurrent loss can sometimes still end in successful pregnancies, even after multiple miscarriages. I’m trying to hold onto that, but it’s hard.
I guess I’m not really sure what I want out of this post. Maybe success stories? Or other people in the same situation? What sort of testing have you had done? Maybe I’m just looking to vent. My sadness has recently turned in frustration.
Spiral over. Thanks for reading <3