Please help, I'm literally in crisis mode. 6th baby while moving abroad??
PLEASE TALK SOME SENSE INTO ME.
Facts:
- We have 5 kids ages 17, 15, 12, 9 and newly 3.
- Our oldest is going to college this fall in JAPAN
- We are moving from the US to Europe.
- Our last baby came after a long struggle after a late miscarriage and infertility
- We have 4 frozen, tested embryos
- My husband doesn't want another, but has agreed to make me happy
- We are financially stable
- All I have to do is am embryo transfer.
- I had postpartum preeclampsia my last pregnancy.
- I backed out of the last one, panicking and freaking out.
- I'm turning 42 this summer.
I have no idea why I freaked out so much. Literally had several panic attacks. Now I'm in therapy and on zoloft. My best guess is I am more traumatized from my last pregnancy and delivery than I thought. But also I keep spiraling about what is best for each and every one of my kids. Will a baby limit travel? Will I not be able to see my oldest? Will something go wrong? What about my youngest, who thrives as the baby of the family? Maybe I should just focus on him? What about my husband who says he'll love another baby but doesn't want one (yet is encouraging me to just go ahead and do it).
I. Am. Freaking. Out.
TO MAKE IT MORE STRESSFUL:
We are not bringing these frozen embryos abroad, and are moving this summer. So this is it. But do I truly want one???
I love every stage of childhood. But should we have one more?
I can't eat. Can't sleep. Please help :(