FTM in a small, conservative town
I have spent my whole life identifying as some form of trans under the umbrella. From nonbinary to genderfluid to demi-boy. I have always been this way. I recently got out of a bad home suitation that led me to live in a small town with very closed minded people. This made me have to dress a lot more feminine and present myself as more femme. Recently, it’s occurred to me that my femininity has never really felt like a home to me, more like a costume or performance to be well-liked in my
communities. I’ve always been considered “attractive” when I presented in a hyperfeminine way and was ultimately treated more kindly. But, I really do believe I was meant to be a man, or at the very least more ambiguous in my presentation. Also, I always have always been accepted and identified as sapphic and am scared to lose that community I built here. All of this to say, I want to transition. I’ve always wanted this and it feels good to say. I just don’t know where to begin. Advice on steps would be really appreciated, because I am an autistic guy and the lack of actual steps to follow is overwhelming.