INTJ’s recognizing their own feelings
We’ve all seen the, “Signs INTJs Like You” posts. INTJs are also known for their delayed emotional processing. I’m also aware that an INTJ can be aware of their preference/attraction towards someone without any willingness to act upon it.
My question is: how many signs of attraction do you think INTJs unconsciously engage in before recognizing their own feelings? How many do you think they’re willing to engage in consciously before deciding the object of their attraction is worth pursuing?
Some potential signs, I’ve noticed with an INTJ coworker:
-lightly teases/challenges me in almost every interaction
-his stoic expression doesn’t change when our eyes meet, but I can always break it and get him to laugh in conversation
-I initially thought he was an extrovert since he talks to everyone, but everyone acts surprised when I mention something like his number of siblings, type of tattoos, or why he decided to become a nurse. Apparently he sticks to his fitness routine and healthy recipes when talking to everyone else.
-he said he misses lawn mowing ever since moving into an apartment and I said he could mow mine bc I hate it. He gave me his schedule and offered to do it on a consistent basis. I said he’s a busy nursing student and he countered that he, “is good at making time for people he likes talking to.”
-he asked what he’d in return and I joked, “sexual favors.” He got flustered and said he meant something along the lines of the banana bread recipe I mentioned earlier but the added under his breath that he “wouldn’t say no to that…”
-asked him the day of to mow my lawn (when he asked that I ask him two days in advance) when I had to unexpectedly be out of town for the week for a funeral and he came over and did it after work and the gym even though he said he would only be willing to do it on his days off work and school
-we hung out while the mower charged in between his work and kept saying he needed to shower and have dinner before meeting up with his brother, but kept editing what that would entail to be smaller e.g. “I need to cook dinner,” became “I’ll have a snack,” which became “I’ll eat my brother’s leftovers.”
Confusing Signs:
-doesn’t usually initiate conversations but will allow me to hold him up from moving on to his next task when I initiate conversations for a little bit before reminding me to get back to work
-won’t usually break away from his sudoku puzzle to talk (he recently told me slow work days + a sudoku is his happy place though)
-we once had the same lunch so I sat next to him. He waved, but never took his earbuds out and continued to watch Dragon Ball Z so I embarrassingly acted like I just wanted the window seat.
-has only ever initiated texts twice. Used to respond in an hour now takes a day and a half
-usually only asks questions about myself after I’ve asked him
-calls me out whenever I tell him something he’s already heard me say and the exact number of times I’ve told him (do you all have good memories for everyone? I think i do as an INFP).
-never reciprocates touch but never pulls away when I squeeze his bicep or playfully slap his shoulder after a joke. He simply moves his gaze and briefly stares at wherever my hand last made contact. Except once he got very close in my personal space and asked me the color of my eyes, but that was a while ago.
An addendum: though it’s hard for me to fathom as an INFP, I wonder if I come across a bit intimidating? I’m pretty socially bold and boisterous with my co-workers, have been told I’m fairly attractive, and just turned 30 while he (INTJ) is almost 24.