u/peachmilkdreams_

For as long as I could remember, I’ve never had much luck making friends or keeping them as well. I’ve always been the “plan b” friend aka the friend someone calls when all of their other friends are busy or not interested. People constantly put me on the back-burner and it hurts so goddamn much. If it’s not this problem, it’s me dealing with people trying to humble me, compete with me (which I don’t get cause I’m in own little world most of the time. I really do be living on a cloud lol. It catches me off guard but ik what these people are doing.) or start problems with me. I’ve dealt with many individuals who seem almost repulsed by me at first meeting. I’m always wondering what exactly I’m doing wrong. I’m simply just being myself and trying to live each day by the day. People who know me very well can even vouch for the fact that I’m like a people-repellent yet they don’t know why. Sometimes, I’ll get lucky and meet people who I can connect with off the bat, but even they tend to move on and forget about me. :( I’ve asked those close to me what is it about me that makes others ignore me or give me a hard time and even they can’t give me a reason or even just be honest with me. I wish I could find my tribe one day. It’s been so long since I’ve had a good circle of friends. I’m at my wits end. I wish I had someone to talk to who truly understood me as a person but also what I’m talking about. I generally do feel misunderstood by most people too. It’s like I talk about my life experiences, beliefs, opinions, dreams, and feelings and people look at me like I’m crazy or annoying. Maybe I’m reading too much into their body language and facial expressions but I pick up on certain vibes that make me feel like they don’t like me. (Side note: I have excellent hygiene. I take personal grooming and my fashion sense very seriously. I’m outgoing and friendly. I consider myself to be an ideal mix of a good conversationalist and an even better listener. I usually take charge in social situations and make the first move, even if I feel shy. I’m open to new experiences and to people of all walks of life. I have many popular hobbies. I smile a lot lol. Just thought Id share some stuff about me in case anyone brings up something related to any of the things I just listed. 🧡) Idk if this novelette that I just wrote even makes sense. I’m just so exhausted. If anyone could take the time to look over my chart and see what stands out in any way, please do. I’ll be up all night watching cozy Autumn movies with my dog lol. (A special nod to “You’ve Got Mail” 🍂🍁☕️) Thank you to anyone who can meaningfully contribute as far as readings go. 🥺☹️