AITA because I (19F) lied to my bf (23M) about where I went on a night out months ago. I told him the truth yesterday and he’s pissed. What do I do to make things right?
My boyfriend (23M) and I (19F) have been together for 7 months and we’ve had disagreements here and there but overall we have a good relationship and I love him a lot. I turned 19 a few months ago and here in Canada that means I can drink and go out clubbing. My boyfriend doesn’t like clubbing, he has already got it out of his system and went a lot before we met. He took me out a little while after my birthday and I had a few drinks but he didn’t want to get drunk so we didn’t. I had no problem with it but thought we’d just go again some other time that he was up for it. A few weeks after that we went again for a private event for his uni grad and he got absolutely plastered. I didn’t drink because I was going to drive us home, but I tried to have fun anyway. Things went sideways though when he got so drunk that I couldn’t tame him. He kept grinding on me weirdly and picked me up and put me on the platform because he wanted me to dance up there but I was sober, embarrassed, and mortified. I ended up driving him home, stopping every five minutes on the highway with my hazards in so that he could puke. So basically I had not had the proper clubbing experience that I wanted. Well a few weeks ago he was out of town on a trip and my best friend had been begging to take me clubbing since my birthday. I kept feeling like I was disappointing her by saying no, so I agreed. We made plans last minute and I texted him about it but due to time differences he saw the text while we were out. My best friend is single and so I was wingwoman for the night. I had no interest in anyone, I would never cheat or do anything that would hurt him. I just wanted to have a fun night and dance with my bestie. However bestie got talking with a guy who was really nice and they hit it off. I was really happy for her. When we decided to leave the three of us took a cab because it turns out he lived very close by. When we got to his place he asked if we wanted to come in for a bit and that he’d drive us home after. I didn’t want to let my bestie down because I could tell that she wanted to stay so I agreed. I didn’t have a bad gut feeling about him or anything. I don’t usually do things like that but I was drunk and so I just kinda went with the flow. We literally just sat on his couch and watched love on the spectrum. They cuddled and I just chilled on the other side of the couch. But then I checked my phone… my boyfriend was livid. He had spammed me with texts but I didn’t notice because my phone had been in my purse all night. He was calling me names and comparing me to his exes and so then I got pissed. I told him that everything was fine and that he was being an ass. We didn’t speak for the rest of that night. The guy dropped us off at my friends house and I spent the night there. In the morning I was still upset with how he reacted and didn’t want to piss him off any more than he already was so I didn’t tell him that we went to that guys house. Wrong move on my part, I know that, but I was really upset. We talked about it in depth when he got home and I stuck to my lie. Another wrong move. But we made up and things had been good since. Until yesterday. My bf and I were helping out with an event and guess who was also helping, yup, the guy. I told my bf that I thought the guy my bestie was seeing was there and I pointed him out. Turns out my bf knows him, like on first name basis. I went over and chatted with the guy for a few minutes, for context he’s still seeing my bestie. When I got back to my boyfriend I realized I had to tell him the truth so I told him everything and apologized profusely. He didn’t want to talk to me for the rest of the event after that but later that night it seemed like nothing was wrong. We didn’t talk about it, we just cuddled and stuff. Then today he didn’t text me all day until 10:00pm saying “hello” “are you alive” “or whatever” to which I said yes and he said that he’s still pissed off with me and that he doesn’t want to talk about it rn because he’s gaming. What do I do? I know I didn’t make the best decisions but I hate fighting with him. I haven’t lied to him before, I don’t like lying. I just need advice on what steps I need to take to make things right.