Question about a situation - spouse depressed, paranoid and angry
My wife has been very depressed off and on for at least three years now. She also has anxiety and ADHD. Lately her problem is suspicion that everyone at work and school is against her coupled with a feeling like everything is going wrong and she can’t get out. She has held multiple jobs and has always ended up having very negative feelings and emotional reactions to people she works with. Because there is some overlap between our professional circles she often blames me and my relationships for her problems (which actually helped her get where she is today) and claims that we are too different to understand each other when I can’t relate to what I perceive as extreme negativity and paranoia. She had a grade a freak out the other day and hysterically cried on the ground at something she thought I had done in what I perceived as a “ damned if you do damned if you don’t” situation. At this point I can feel like this is not “about me” no matter how much she acts like it is. The way she acts is just not normal and extremely negative. I’m finding myself able to disconnect and not care what she says or does anymore. It’s a relief but I also wonder if I’m doing the wrong thing to distance myself from her highly reactive and entrapping arguments. I feel like if I disengage more she’ll just say that I don’t care more when I have done LOTS of work to support her over the years. She just forgets everything that is good. What say you?