Not included in boyfriend’s friend’s gatherings
TLDR: Would most people be hurt being left out of get togethers with boyfriend’s friends after a year together or is it my abandonment issues?
My boyfriend (55M) and me (43F) have been together for just over a year. We’ve known each other for 10 years. He’s been divorced about a year and separated for almost 2. He has some great friends who he consistently sees. Everyone’s kids play together and they’re all always invited to in-home events and often go out to breweries with all the kids for an evening and hang out. I’ve met all of these people at least 4 times, some up to 6-8 times. They’ve met my kids. We all trick or treated together. There have been several dinners or football games at homes where I was not invited. I’d see photos later and my boyfriend is literally the only single person in a group of couples in some of them. One couple and their kids are moving out of state next week. One of the friends, we’ll call her A, is hosting a last minute going away party in her home on the day we made plans to get the kids together and go do some fun things. I am not invited. A even joined us a few days ago, with her boyfriend in tow, for a night out I invited her to with my friends. I’ve been to dinner with all 4 of these people and my boyfriend. Today on the phone he said something like “I’ve mentioned you and I have plans that day to see, you know, if she’ll say y’all should come…”
My question is: Would most people feel hurt by this? Is this something worth mentioning? I have major abandonment issues (yes, I’m in therapy) and being left out is a huge trigger for me so it feels difficult to have a mentally healthy perspective. I’m spiraling about how they all must dislike me or think I’m wrong for him or think I’m not good enough etc.